Terry Pratchett
Only You Can Save Mankind
The Mighty ScreeWeeTM Empire ispoised to attack Earth!
Our battleships have beendestroyed in a sneak raid!
Nothing can stand between Earthand the terrible vengeance of theScreeWeeTM!
But there is one starship left...end out of the mists of time comesone warrior, one fighter who Is thelast Hope of Civilizatlon!
YOU!
YOU are the Savior of Civilization.
You are all that stands between
your world and Certain Oblivion.
You are the Last Mope.
Only You Can Save Mankind! TM
Action-Packed with New Features!
Just like the Real Thing! Full.Color
Sound and Slam.VectorTM Graphics!
Sulteble for 1CM PC, Atari. Amiga. Pineapple,
Ametrad, Nintendo. Actual games shots taken from a
Version YOU haven't bought.
Copyright IEEE Qobi Software, 7234 W., AghartaDrive, Shambaia, Tibet. All Rights Reserved. Allcompany names and product names are regleteredtrademarks or trademarks of their respectivecompeniee.
The names ScreeWee, Empire and Mankind aretrademarks of QobI Software 1992.
1.
The Hero With A ThousandExtra Lives
Johnny bit his lip, and concentrated.Right. Come in quick, let a missile target itself- beepbeep beep beebeebeebeeb - on the first fighter, fire themissile - thwutnp - empty the guns at the fighter -fplatfplatfplatfplat - hit fighter No. 2 and take out itsshields with the laser - bwizzle - while the missile -pwwosh - takes out fighter No. 1, dive, switch guns,rake fighter No.3 as it turns fplatfplatfplat - pick upfighter No. 2 in the sights again on the upcurve, let goa missile - thwump - and rake it with -Fwit fwit fwit.
Fighter No. 4! It always came in last, but if you wentafter it first the others would have time to turn andyou'd end up in the sights of three of them.
He'd died six times already. And it was only fiveo'clock.
His hands flew over the keyboard. Stars roared pastas he accelerated out of the melee. It'd leave him shortof fuel, but by the time they caught up the shieldswould be back and he'd be ready, and two of themwould already have taken damage, and ... here theycome ... missiles away, wow, lucky hit on the firstone, die die die!, red fireball - swsssh - take shield losswhile concentrating fire on the next one - swsssh - and
now the last one was running, but he could outrun it,hit the accelerator - ggrrRRRSSHHH - and just keepit in his sights while he poured shot after shot into -swssh.
Ah!
The huge bulk of their capital ship was in the cornerof the screen. Level 10, here we come ... careful,careful... there were no more ships now, so all he hadto do was keep out of its range and then sweep in andWe wish to talk.
Johnny blinked at the message on the screen.We wish to talk.
The ship roared by - eeey000wwwnn. He reached outfor the throttle key and slowed himself down, and thenturned and got the big red shape in his sights again.
We wish to talk.
His finger hovered on the Fire button. Then, with-out really looking, he moved it over to the keyboard.and pressed Pause.
Then he read the manual.
Only You Can Save Mankind, it said on the cover.'Full Sound and Graphics. The Ultimate Game.'
A ScreeWee heavy cruiser, it said on page 17, couldbe taken out with seventy-six laser shots. Once you'dcleared the fighter escort and found a handy spot wherethe ScreeWee's guns couldn't get you, it was just amatter of time.
We wish to talk.
Even with the Pause on, the message still flashed onthe screen.
There was nothing in the manual about messages.Johnny riffled through the pages. It must be one of theNew Features the game was Packed With.He put down the book, put his hands on thekeys and cautiously tapped out: Die, alein scum!
No! We do not wish to die! We wish to talk!
It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it?
Wobbler Johnson, who'd given him the disc andphotocopied the manual on his dad's copier, had saidthat once you'd completed level 10 you got given anextra 10,000 points and the Scroll of Valour and movedon to the Arcturus Sector, where there were differentships and more of them.
Johnny wanted the Scroll of Valour.
Johnny fired the laser one more time. Swsssh. Hedidn't really know why. It was just because you had thejoystick and there was the Fire button and that waswhat it was for.
After all, there wasn't a Don't Fire button.
We Surrender! PLEASE!
He reached over and, very carefully, pressed the SaveGame button. The computer whined and clicked, andthen was silent.
He didn't play again the whole evening. He did hishomework.
It was Geography. You had to colour in GreatBritain and put a dot on the map of the world whereyou thought it was.The ScreeWee captain thumped her desk with one ofher forelegs.'What?'
The First Officer swallowed, and tried to keep hertail held at a respectful angle.
'He just vanished again, ma'am,' she said.
'But did he accept?'
'No, ma'am.'
The Captain drummed the fingers of three hands onthe table. She looked slightly like a newt but mainly likean alligator.
'But we didn't fire on him!'
'No, ma'am.'
'And you sent my message?'
'Yes, ma am.'
'And every time we've killed him, he comes back...'
He caught up with Wobbler in Break.
Wobbler was the kind of boy who's always pickedlast when you had to pick teams, although that was allright at the moment as the PE teacher didn't believe inteams because they encouraged competition.
He wobbled. It was glandular, he said. He wobbledespecially when he ran. Bits of Wobbler headed invarious directions; it was only on average that he wasrunning in any particular direction.
But he was good at games. They just weren't theones that people thought you ought to be good at.If ever there was an Inter-Schools First-One-To-Break-The-Unbreakable-Copy-Protection-on-Galactic-Thrusters, Wobbler wouldn't just be in the team, he'dbe picking the team.
'Yo, Wobbler,' said Johnny.
'It's not cool to say Yo any more,' said Wobbler.
'Is it rad to say cool?' said Johnny.
'Cool's always cool. And no-one says rad any more,either.'
Wobbler looked around conspiratorially and thenfished a package from his bag.
'This is cool. Have a go at this.'
'What is it?' said Johnny.
'I cracked Fighter Star Terafiomber,' said Wobbler.'Only don't tell anyone, right? Just type FSB. It's notmuch good, really. The space bar drops the bombs,and ... well ... just press the keys, you'll see whatthey do. .'Listen.. . you know Only You Can Save Mankind?'
'Still playing that, are you?'
'You didn't, you know, do anything to it, did you?Um? Before you gave me a copy?'
'No. It wasn't even protected. Didn't have to doanything except copy the manual. Why?'
'You did play it, didn't you?'
'A bit.' Wobbler only played games once. Wobblercould watch a game for a couple of minutes, and thenpick up the joystick and get top score. And then neverplay it again.
'Nothing ... funny ... happened?'
'Like what?' said Wobbler.
'Like ...' Johnny hesitated. He could tell Wobbler,and then Wobbler would laugh, or not believe him, orsay it was just some bug or something, some kind oftrick. Or a virus. Wobbler had discs full of computerviruses. He didn't do anything with them. He just col-lected them, like stamps or something.
He could tell Wobbler, and then somehow itwouldn't be real.