“She may love what she sees there, and want to go back for a visit, but I’ll be very surprised if she wants to live that far from you, for now anyway. And her sights are set on college, not on moving to the South, or discovering her roots. She should know about it, and I think it’s good for her to see. I always thought that, it’ll take care of any curiosity or magical beliefs she might have had about it. But Savannah is heading for college, that’s all she cares about now. You were out of college and in love with a man older than you. That’s a life Savannah can’t even imagine and doesn’t want. Not for a long, long time. If you ask, I think she’ll tell you the same thing. She was curious about it, but no more than that. And being there for three months will put all those questions to rest.”

“I wish I felt as sure.” Alexa was only slightly comforted by her mother’s words, although she made sense.

“Are you sure you’re worrying about Savannah and not yourself?” Bingo! Alexa knew instantly her mother had hit a nerve, by how uncomfortable she felt. As she always did, she had gone right to the epicenter of the pain.

“Yeah, maybe I am,” Alexa said honestly, trying to figure out what part of it she feared most. It was hard to say. “I was so happy there, I loved Tom so much, and his boys. I trusted him completely, and I thought we’d be together forever. And now all of that is gone, and someone else is married to him and living in that same house. It’s a little hard to take.” And she had hated him for it for years. He had stolen all her dreams, and destroyed all her trust. She had never been able to rebuild it since, with anyone. He had burned her to the ground. “I would have preferred never to go there again.”

“Sometimes we have to face the things that hurt us most. Maybe you won’t heal till you do. You haven’t yet.” They both knew that was true. “You can’t move ahead until you bury the past, and all that agony and hurt is still alive for you. Maybe this will do you good.” Alexa thought of it as the cab pulled up in front of the terminal, and she told her mother she had to go. But she knew that she was right. Her pain was still alive. None of it, nor the disappointment and feeling of betrayal, had dulled in the past ten years. If anything, it had gotten worse. She had no man in her life and didn’t want one, because she couldn’t forgive or forget the one who had hurt her most. Nor had she forgiven Tom’s mother, or his wife, who had urged him to betray her in every possible way. It had been a cabal against her, because she wasn’t one of them, hard as it was to believe now. It sounded crazy, but was true. Luisa had won by geography and tradition, and like Ashley in Gone with the Wind, Tom had been weak. She couldn’t forgive him for it even now. And ten years of not forgiving him had poisoned her, like a radioactive substance she had ingested years ago, still coursing through her veins. It burned her insides with a searing pain. She hadn’t wanted Savannah anywhere near those people, but she had had no other choice.

Alexa ran through security, and barely made her plane. She didn’t want to miss it and disappoint Savannah. It left at six-thirty, and landed after eight. Her heart caught as she saw the airport. She had told Savannah she’d call when she arrived and meet her at the hotel. She didn’t want her to wait alone. She got her bag and hailed a cab, and gave him the name of her hotel.

The drive to the city was familiar and brief. Her heart ached when she saw the bridges, and the church spires she had loved. One of those churches was where they had christened Savannah. The city was full of memories for her, like a too ripe plum ready to explode. She had to force them from her mind. Before she got to the hotel she called Savannah, who was waiting for the call in her room. It was almost nine o’clock by then. She had been planning to drive over, but her father had said he would drop her off, since Alexa had arranged for a rented car through the hotel. He knew her mother probably wouldn’t want her driving downtown alone. Savannah let him know when she got the call, and she ran downstairs with her small bag. She had kissed Daisy goodbye that afternoon, since she was spending the night at a friend’s. Luisa was out playing bridge that night. Tom had opted to stay home. He and Luisa were on extremely tense terms, but sleeping in the same room. Barely, but they were.

“You must be excited to see your mom,” Tom chatted easily on their way to the Wentworth Mansion. Alexa had remembered that it was the best hotel in town, and had originally been built as a home. It was still one of the city’s loveliest Victorian mansions, with every possible amenity and comfort, and gracious, beautifully appointed rooms, Tiffany glass ceilings, fine antiques, and a spa Alexa knew Savannah would enjoy and where they could both relax. It was in the heart of the city, with shops and restaurants all around it, and spectacular views of historic Charleston right from the hotel. Alexa was hoping it would be a treat for them both, and Savannah wouldn’t have cared if they stayed in a motel. She just wanted to see her mom. She could hardly wait.

“Yes, I am excited to see her,” Savannah answered with a broad smile and dancing eyes. “She’s my best friend,” she volunteered. “I miss her a lot.”

“I know you do,” Tom said, wishing he could fill the void somehow, but even if she enjoyed spending time with her father, it was too late for that. Thanks to him, he knew, they were acquaintances, not friends. He hoped to deepen their relationship while she was there, but contrary to her mother’s fears, three months wasn’t long. And surely not long enough to make up for ten years.

Tom followed Savannah into the Wentworth Mansion, carrying her bag. She hadn’t brought much with her, and said she could wear her mother’s clothes. Savannah bounded into the lobby like a young puppy, and as soon as she did, she saw her mother standing at the desk checking in, and nearly jumped into her arms. The two women hugged so tight and clung to each other so fiercely that they looked like one body with two heads, while Tom stood quietly by, unnoticed by both of them. Alexa ran her hands over Savannah’s hair and face and arms, as though she had been starving for her. Tom could see they both were, as Savannah clung to her mother like a child. It was a full five minutes before either of them remembered he was there. And he felt a secret sadness, watching them and knowing that he had created the fierce bond they shared, by abandoning both of them. He felt left out, and knew he had no right to more. He had it all once, and betrayed them, and now he lived in the ashes that were left. Both Alexa and Savannah were like rays of sunlight filtering into the darkness of his life through prison bars. It was a prison he had built himself, out of weakness and fear.

“Well, you two look mighty happy to see each other,” he said, smiling at them both. None of his sadness showed. He appeared happy for them, and in fact was jealous of what they shared. Everything about them was pure gold. Alexa immediately stiffened when she saw him. She had forgotten he was there, and so had Savannah. Alexa tried to be polite. She was grateful for the haven he was providing their daughter, but he was still Tom, the person on the planet she hated and who had hurt her most. She watched him as he hugged Savannah, kissed her, and wished them both a good weekend. It looked sincere, but who knew with him, Alexa thought to herself, and blamed it on the South, as she always did, still convinced that every southerner was a hypocrite and a liar, waiting to betray a loved one or a friend. It was too late to convince her otherwise. For her, they were like a separate nationality she abhorred.

“She’s been really looking forward to this,” Tom said gently to Alexa, not knowing what else to say. Everything about her was slammed tightly closed except when she looked at her daughter and her entire being relaxed and softened. Like night and day.