Not able to speak, she nodded and he turned to go. But before he left the room, she heard his voice, thick with emotion. “Just one question.”
“Jammer, don’t.”
“I have to know, Gina. If there was a chance for us, would you take it?”
She had to struggle to find her sense of balance, since every facet of her equilibrium was threatened, physically, emotionally, intellectually.
“I wish it was that simple,” she said, not able to commit to anything and keep her sanity.
He accepted her answer and left her standing there with her back against the wall, as if it was the only thing that held her upright.
WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG with him? Not the smartest move he’d ever made. She had said she understood the score, but she was dead wrong. She didn’t know jack. He was balanced on a fine wire here. A balance he desperately needed to maintain, since if he fell either way it would spell disaster.
Yet all of a sudden, everything he’d planned was inconsequential to this woman and her welfare. Everything he’d promised, vowed, and every deal he’d ever made.
He wanted-needed-to create more distance. Mentally, anyway. He wasn’t used to his thoughts being so clouded, and he knew his judgment would be off because of it. He simply had to find an edge and hold on to it for both their sakes.
There was too much at risk for each of them.
She was playing a lethal game and she didn’t have all the cards. He did. And ultimately, he would have to be the one who won.
His cell rang and he pulled it out. “Yeah.”
“How are things progressing?”
“There are some complications, but I’m dealing with them.” The whole thing could blow up in Jammer’s face if he wasn’t careful, but he’d never reveal that to the man at the other end of the line. “The woman?”
Jammer started to pace in agitation. He never lost it, but he didn’t like Gina being scrutinized. “No, she’s actually providing the solutions, but we both know how that came about.”
“Yes, we’re both aware of how resourceful her contacts can be…We’re agreed that you will use her, then neutralize her.”
Jammer felt immediate resistance, and his throat knotted up. He had agreed. But that was before. Before he’d experienced what it was like to touch her, hold her, be deep inside her. That was before he knew her. Things had changed, and the game pivoted on a very dangerous fulcrum.
“I don’t like the sound of that silence. We agreed.”
“I know,” Jammer said.
“Don’t let your johnson make the decisions for you. You need to remember the name Shane McMasters along with the names of the others who died. They gave their lives for the cause.”
“Listen, don’t lecture me,” Jammer growled. “She’s been a valuable resource in all this. Fuentes has to go down, that’s what we both believe. You let me decide how that was going to happen. There is no one on this planet who wants him out of the picture more than I do. So honor your damn agreement and let me do this my way.”
“I’m just pointing out important facts.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve lost your perspective. That fiasco with DEA Agent Marshall was foolish. You risked exposure, and if Fuentes had figured out it was you who contacted Max Carpenter and spilled Rio ’s location, we would have failed the mission.”
Jammer’s heart clenched in his chest and then released. Rio was safe. “It worked out for both our benefits. She and that FBI guy are now off our backs. And Fuentes is now focused on what he has to do. So we don’t need to rehash that. I wasn’t going to stand by and let her die. I couldn’t.”
“No, I understand that. But it was a risk, just like the woman is a risk.”
He thought of her then, that soft, sassy mouth, silky-smooth skin and his need to hear her voice and see her smile. “A calculated one. The closer she is to me, the better I can keep an eye on her.” And the easier it was for him to touch her, take that soft, sassy mouth and make her cry out his name.
“Keep me apprised, and watch your back.”
“I will.”
Jammer closed the phone with an audible snap. It had been a reality check. So much had been sacrificed. He would do what his partner suggested. Use Gina, then neutralize her. That was the way it had to be.
A ghost was insubstantial and so, unfortunately, were his dreams.
4
CALLIE CLOSED HER EYES when he left the room, knowing she was on the verge of something so darkly forbidden that if she gave in to it she wouldn’t ever be the same. Even now, she sensed that once this op was over, she would be changed, and there wasn’t one thing she could do about it.
Damn her need for justice.
Damn her need for Jammer.
She stopped on the landing and peeked out the window. Jammer was walking with Jim to a small wooden shed, and they disappeared inside. She dashed down the rest of the stairs, listening for any telltale sounds of someone still in the house. Nothing and no one.
She went into the study and closed the door. Making her way over to his desk, she quickly riffled through it, but found nothing that would indicate he’d had any contact with the Ghost, or who the man was. She then focused on the laptop. She was not savvy enough with computers to break into it in the short time she had, so she pulled out her cell and dialed Damian Frost, Watchdog’s resident computer geek.
He answered on the first ring. “Took you long enough, love.”
“Don’t give me a hard time or I’ll kick your Irish ass.”
Many people when they first met Damian gave him a wide berth, for he exuded a lethal and deadly quality. But Callie was used to walking right into the tiger’s den and pretending she belonged there. It was second nature to her.
He laughed and said, “What’s the IP address?”
Callie read it to him, and while he was working his geeky magic, she went to the door to make sure Jammer wouldn’t catch her unawares.
Her heart squeezed in her chest thinking about what she would have to ultimately do. The look in Jammer’s eyes when she arrested him and turned him over to the courts would haunt her for the rest of her life.
Suddenly, she wanted to run, to get away from the reality of her mission. She turned back to his computer, thinking she could yank it from the desk, shut it off and tell Damian that Jammer had returned. She even took a step in that direction.
But caught herself. That would be treason and she’d sworn an oath. She couldn’t let feelings for a man stand in her way. No matter how much her stomach knotted and her heart twisted in her chest.
“What are you doing in here?”
Adrenaline pumped hard into her system and she whirled at the sound of his deep, demanding voice. She met his gaze-sharp and intense as it always was, but now there was a hint of suspicion.
“You startled me,” she murmured, forcing a smile. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came down to see if I could pass the time with a book.”
“A book?” he said, his eyebrows cocking, his mouth firming.
“Yes, a book. Are you insinuating that I wouldn’t get pleasure from reading?”
His eyes flamed at the word pleasure, but Callie couldn’t allow that to sidetrack her.
Hopefully, Damian had finished what he needed to do. Jammer went to the computer and looked at it, then at her. Callie’s attention was on his library. She was pretending to peruse the books, but when her eyes snagged on Scottish poetry, she reached up and pulled the volume from between two leather-bound books.
“Scottish poetry?” She turned toward him, but Jammer was looking at the laptop with interest. Finally, he powered it down and closed the cover.
“What?” he said, as if whatever he had found on the computer had distracted him. She edged toward the door just in case he had discovered what she had been doing in his library. But she froze when he stared up at her.