He did.

HOLMAN.

Donna had given the boy Holman’s name even though they weren’t married, and seeing it now moved him. He touched the name-HOLMAN-thinking, this was my son. He felt an angry ache in his chest and abruptly turned away.

Holman waited by the security door for almost ten minutes until a young Asian man with a book bag pushed open the door on his way out to class. Holman caught the door before it closed and let himself in.

The interior courtyard was small and filled with lush bird-of-paradise plants. The inside of the building was ringed with exposed walkways which could be reached by a common elevator that opened into the courtyard or by an adjoining staircase. Holman used the stairs. He climbed to the second floor, then followed the numbers until he found 216. He knocked lightly, then knocked again, harder, wrapping himself in a numbness that was designed to protect him from his own feelings.

A young woman opened the door, and his numbness was gone.

Her face was focused and contained, as if she was concentrating on something more important than answering the door. She was slight, with dark eyes, a thin face, and prominent ears. She was wearing denim shorts, a light green blouse, and sandals. Her hair was damp, as if she wasn’t long from the shower. Holman thought she looked like a child.

She stared at him with curious indifference.

“Yes?”

“I’m Max Holman. Richie’s father.”

Holman waited for her to unload. He expected her to tell him what a rotten bastard and lousy father he was, but the indifference vanished and she canted her head as if seeing him for the first time.

“Ohmigod. Well. This is awkward.”

“It’s awkward for me, too. I don’t know your name.”

“Elizabeth. Liz.”

“I’d like to talk with you a little bit if you don’t mind. It would mean a lot to me.”

She suddenly opened the door.

“I have to apologize. I was going to call, but I just-I didn’t know what to say. Please. Come in. I’m getting ready for class, but I have a few minutes. There’s some coffee-”

Holman stepped past her and waited in the living room as she closed the door. He told her not to go to any trouble, but she went to her kitchen anyway and took two mugs from the cupboard, leaving him in her living room.

“This is just so weird. I’m sorry. I don’t use sugar. We might have Sweeta-”

“Black is fine.”

“I have nonfat milk.”

“Just black.”

It was a large apartment, with the living room, a dining area, and the kitchen all sharing space. Holman was suddenly overcome by being in Richie’s home. He had told himself to be all business, just ask his questions and get out, but now his son’s life was all around him and he wanted to fill himself with it: A mismatched couch and chair faced a TV on a pedestal stand in the corner; racks cluttered with CDs and DVDs tipped against the wall-Green Day, Beck, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; a gas fireplace was built into the wall, its mantel filled with rows of overlapping pictures. Holman let himself drift closer.

“This is a nice place,” he said.

“It’s more than we can afford, but it’s close to campus. I’m getting my master’s in child psychology.”

“That sounds real good.”

Holman felt like a dummy and wished he could think of something better to say.

“I just got out of prison.”

“I know.”

Stupid.

The pictures showed Richie and Liz together, alone, and with other couples. One shot showed them on a boat; another wearing flare-bright parkas in the snow; in another, they were at a picnic where everyone wore LAPD T-shirts. Holman found himself smiling, but then he saw a picture of Richie with Donna and his smile collapsed. Donna had been younger than Holman, but in the picture she looked older. Her hair was badly colored and her face was cut by deep lines and shadows. Holman turned away, hiding from the memories and the sudden flush of shame, and found Liz beside him with the coffee. She offered a cup, and Holman accepted it. He shrugged to encompass the apartment.

“You have a nice place. I like the pictures. It’s like getting to know him a little bit.”

Her eyes never left him and and now Holman felt watched. Her being a psych major, he wondered if she was analyzing him.

She suddenly lowered the cup.

“You look like him. He was a little taller but not much. You’re heavier.”

“I got fat.”

“I didn’t mean fat. Richard was a runner. That’s all I meant.”

Her eyes filled then, and Holman didn’t know what to do. He raised a hand, thinking to touch her shoulder, but he was afraid he might scare her. Then she pulled herself together and rubbed her eyes clear with the flat of her free hand.

“I’m sorry. This really sucks. This so really sucks. Listen-”

She rubbed her eye again, then held out her hand.

“It’s good to finally meet you.”

“You really think I look like him?”

She made a thin smile.

“Clones. Donna always said the same thing.”

Holman changed the subject. If they got into talking about Donna he would start crying, too.

He said, “Listen, I know you have to get to class and all, but can I ask you a couple of questions about what happened? It won’t take long.”

“They found that man who killed them.”

“I know. I’m just trying to…I talked to Detective Random. Have you met him?”

“Yes, I’ve spoken with him and Captain Levy. Levy was Richard’s commander.”

“Right. I’ve spoken with him, too, but I still have some questions about how this could happen.”

“Juarez blamed Mike for what happened to his brother. Do you know that whole story?”

“Yeah, it’s in the paper. You knew Sergeant Fowler?”

“Mike was Richard’s training officer. They were still really good friends.”

“Random told me that Juarez had been making threats ever since his brother was killed. Was Mike worried about it?”

She frowned as she thought about it, trying to remember, then shook her head.

“Mike never seemed worried about anything. It wasn’t like I saw him that often, just every couple of months or so, but he didn’t seem worried about anything like this.”

“Did Richie maybe mention that Mike was worried?”

“The first I heard about this gang business was when they issued the warrant. Richard never said anything, but he wouldn’t have. He never brought that kind of thing home.”

Holman figured if some guy was shooting off his mouth and making threats, he would pay the guy a visit. He would let the guy have his shot straight up or put the guy in his place, but either way he would deal with it. He wondered if that’s what the four officers were doing that night, making a plan to deal with Juarez, only Juarez got the jump on them. It seemed possible, but Holman didn’t want to suggest it to Elizabeth.

Instead, Holman said, “Fowler probably didn’t want to worry anyone. Guys like Juarez are always threatening policemen. Cops get that all the time.”

Elizabeth nodded, but her eyes began to redden again and Holman knew he had made a mistake. She was thinking that this time it wasn’t just threats-this time the guy like Juarez had gone through with it and now her husband was dead. Holman quickly changed the subject.

“Another thing I’m wondering about-Random told me Richie wasn’t on duty that night?”

“No. He was here working. I was studying. He went out to meet the guys sometimes, but never that late. He told me he had to go meet them. That’s all he said.”

“Did he say he was going to the river?”

“No. I just assumed they would meet at a bar.”

Holman took that in, but it still didn’t help him.

“I guess what’s bothering me is how Juarez found them. The police haven’t been able to explain that yet. It’d be tough to follow someone into that riverbed and not be seen. So I’m thinking maybe if they went down there all the time-you know, a regular thing-maybe Juarez heard about it and knew where to find them.”


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