I say nothing until Juni arrives, getting things clear in my head, deciding how much to tell them, what to say and what to keep to myself. When she’s finally here, sitting on a chair, hands clasped on her knees, I begin by confessing that I lied. “I didn’t really bring you here to talk about Bo.”
“I guessed,” she smiles. “You’re not a good liar. Which is a positive thing—don’t think I’m criticising you!”
“Before I get down to the crazy stuff, have either of you noticed anything strange about Dervish?” I ask.
“What do you mean?” Bill-E frowns.
“I’ll take that as a no. Juni?”
She pauses. “I don’t know your uncle very well, but he’s seemed a little… unfocused recently.”
“You saw it when he was talking with Chuda about the search for Kik, didn’t you?”
“I saw… something,” Juni says cagily. “Dervish has been through a lot these last two years. The responsibility of having to look after you, the temporary loss of his mind, trying to readjust to normal life, the nightmares.”
“Nightmares?” Bill-E asks. We never told him about Dervish’s bad dreams.
“He’s had trouble sleeping recently,” Juni explains.
“That’s the first I’ve heard of it,” Bill-E grumbles.
“He finds it easy to share his secrets and fears with me,” Juni says. “He’s able to tell me things he finds hard to discuss with others. I’ve been trying to help him sort through his problems. We were making good progress but now he seems to have regressed.”
“Chuda’s messing with his mind,” I tell her. “Controlling his thoughts.”
“You can’t be serious,” Juni laughs. But her laughter dies away when she sees that I am.
“I’m going to tell you something that will sound insane,” I begin. “Bill-E knows some of it but not all. I need you to hear me out and at least try to believe me.”
“Of course,” Juni says, leaning forward, intrigued.
I take a deep breath. Glance at Bill-E, knowing what I say is going to hurt him, then launch straight in. “Demons killed my parents and sister…”
I fill them in on most of the details. My early encounter with Lord Loss. Escape. Madness. Recovery. Moving to Carcery Vale. The curse of the Gradys. Then the big one—Bill-E turning into a werewolf.
“So that’s it!” Bill-E cries. He’s trembling, his lazy eyelid quivering wildly. “I never bought your story that Dervish locked me up to protect me. I knew there was something you weren’t telling.” He glares at me accusingly. “You lied to me.”
“We didn’t want to hurt you,” I sigh.
“I can take hurt. Not lies. You should have told me.”
“Maybe,” I mutter miserably.
“So, am I cured?” Bill-E snarls.
“Yes.”
“For real? Forever?”
I nod glumly, then outline the deal which certain members of our family had going with Lord Loss, the chess matches, the battles with his familiars. I tell them how Dervish and I challenged Lord Loss on Bill-E’s behalf. The only part I leave out is the truth about Bill-E’s father. I don’t tell him we had the same dad. This isn’t the time to open that can of worms.
Bill-E’s rage dwindles as he hears what Dervish and I risked to save him. He’s staring at me with awe now, tears trickling down his cheeks. I find that more unsettling than his anger. He’s gawping at me as if I’m some kind of hero. But I’m not. I only did it because he’s my brother, but I can’t tell him that, not now. He thinks Dervish is his dad. If I told him the truth, I’d be hitting him with the news that his real father’s dead.
I finish quickly with the last few months, Dervish defeating Lord Loss in his demonic realm and regaining his senses, the nightmares, coming here to try and sort himself out, the demon which killed Emmet, overhearing Tump Kooniart and Chuda Sool talking, the appearance of Lord Loss.
“It was definitely him,” I tell them. “I wasn’t a hundred per cent sure before, but now I am. There are real demons in Slawter. Chuda and Tump are working for them, along with some of the crew. Davida might be one of their allies too. Lord Loss swore revenge on me, Dervish and Bill-E. So the three of us are for the chop, no doubt about it. Probably the rest of you as well.”
Silence. Bill-E is staring at me, torn between hero-worship, terror and doubt. Juni doesn’t know what to think or say. She’s probably heard all sorts in her time, but nothing like this. She’s trying to think of a gentle way of denying what I’m saying, without insulting or enraging me.
“It’s OK,” I smile. “You can say I’m crazy. I won’t mind.”
“People roll out that word too swiftly,” Juni objects. “It’s an easy fall-back. I try never to make such gross generalisations. But…”
“…in this case you’ll make an exception,” I finish for her.
She grins shakily. “I wasn’t going to say that.”
“But you were thinking it, right?”
She tilts her head uncertainly. “We have a lot to discuss. This goes back a long way. You have deep-rooted issues which we’ll have to work through, one at a time. To begin with—”
“Do you believe in magic?” I interrupt.
“No,” Juni says plainly.
“What if I could convince you?”
“How?”
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I knew words alone wouldn’t be enough. I haven’t done anything magical since melting the pen, but I’m sure magic is still in the air, surrounding me, waiting to be channelled. It had better be or else I really will look like a loon!
“Is that worth a lot?” I ask, pointing at the watch on her wrist.
“No,” she frowns.
“Does it matter to you? Would you miss it if you lost it?”
“Not really. Where is this going, Grubbs?”
“You’ll see.” I fix my gaze on the watch, willing it to melt. I’m anticipating a struggle, but almost as soon as I focus, the watch liquidises and drips off Juni’s hand.
“Ow!” Juni yelps, leaping to her feet and rubbing her wrist. “It’s hot!”
“Sorry!” I jump up too. “Are you OK? Do you want me to get some ice or—”
“I’m fine,” Juni snaps, then quits rubbing, stares at the red mark left behind by the melted metal, then at the puddle on the floor, then at me. “Grubbs… what the hell?” she croaks.
“That was just for openers,” I beam, confidence bubbling up. “Have you ever wanted to fly?”
In the end we don’t fly. Juni isn’t ready to open the window and soar over the buildings of Slawter. I’m not either, really. But we levitate a bit, to prove that the melting watch wasn’t a hoax, that this is real magic, not some stage trick.
“This is incredible!” Juni laughs as I make the light switch on and off just by looking at it, while juggling six pairs of balled-up socks without touching them.
“Bloody amazing is what it is!” Bill-E gasps. “Could I do that too?”
“Maybe,” I say, flicking the light on and off a few more times, then letting the socks drop. “Dervish said lots of people have magical potential. They just don’t know it. The magic’s thick in the air around us here, but you and the others aren’t aware of it. I am, because I fought demons and part of my mind—the part that’s magic—opened up. If you could open that part of your mind, I bet you could do everything I can.”
“I need to get me a demon to whup,” Bill-E mutters.
“Of course, it could all be in my head,” Juni says. “You could have slipped me hallucinogenic substances. I might be imagining the watch, floating, the socks.”
Bill-E wrinkles his nose. “You couldn’t hallucinate the smell of Grubbs’ socks!” he says and we all laugh.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” I ask Juni.
“No,” she sighs. “But I want to keep an open mind, like you advised. That means not accepting your story about demons even if the magic is real.” She looks at me earnestly. “One doesn’t verify the other. I haven’t seen any evidence of demons yet.”
“You don’t need to!” I groan. “If demons aren’t real, where am I getting my power from?”
“I have no idea,” Juni says. “You might be generating it naturally, subconsciously. The demons might simply be your way of rationalising your powers.” She holds up a hand as I start to argue. “I’m not saying that is the case—just that it might be.”