He lifted one hand to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking satiny skin and slightly brushing the curve of her lower lip. Had he always known her eyes were bottomless? He thought he could lose himself in them, a terrifying, seductive notion. "What do you feel, Serena?" he asked, his voice hushed.

Her long lashes quivered a bit, not veiling her brilliant eyes but betraying a pang of vulnerability, and her mouth twisted a little in painful self-mockery. "I… oh, hell, you have to know exactly what I feel. It's not like I can hide it from you even if you can't read my mind-"

Merlin bent his head and touched her lips with his. It was a careful, tentative kiss, very gentle and so fleeting that when it ended, Serena looked as if she wasn't certain it had happened at all. "Tell me," he murmured.

It took a tremendous effort for Serena to stop staring at his mouth, but when she met the liquid blackness of his eyes, it was like being kissed again-this time with all the heat and intensity she could see burning in him. Beyond any ability to lie or evade the subject, she whispered, "I love you. I've always loved you. And I've always been afraid you'd send me away if you knew…"

"I would have. Once I would have." He was bending his head again as he spoke, covering her mouth this time with more certainty and a sudden hunger.

Serena was instantly caught up in the almost shocking whirl of sensations. His mouth, smooth and cool against hers, then warming, hardening as hers opened to him eagerly. His body, unyielding and powerful, muscles solid under her touch, his heart like a drum against her. The aching of her breasts longing for his touch, and the hollow feeling of wanting deep inside her. The tremors rippling through her and the faint shudders with which his body answered. The burning she could feel, a surging heat in him and in her that was a stunningly powerful need.

For the first time in her life, Serena felt the sharp, mindless compulsion of her body's urgent passion. She had thought herself rather cool, uninterested in and unmoved by the desire of men who had wanted her, but Merlin's desire ignited her own as a torch lit dry timber. She wanted him so wildly, so desperately, that to think of anything except satisfying her desire required incredible effort.

She made the effort because she had to. Even as she responded eagerly to his passion, Serena fought the compulsion to melt against him, to give herself up completely to the astonishing need spiraling inside her; a new voice of wisdom in her head warned that this was only a first step for them. The conflict inside Merlin was far from over; even now, in this moment of closeness, she could feel something in him trying to pull away or push her away. The fact that he could hold her and kiss her with passion was definite evidence of his struggle, but not of his triumph over it.

We have to be careful. God, we have to be so careful. If we move too fast…

Every instinct Serena could lay claim to insisted that if they gave in to this suddenly unleashed, intense desire for each other and became lovers before the conflict inside him had been resolved, the price they would pay would be incalculable pain. She would have to bear the devastating knowledge that he could offer her nothing of himself wholeheartedly, and he would find himself bound forever by the heavy, anguished links of a chain his ancestors had forged out of fear.

She didn't think about how he had responded to her admission of love, simply because she had expected nothing else from him. He was literally incapable of loving her in return, at least for now, and she knew it. Only time would tell if it would ever be possible.

Though it took every ounce of willpower and resolve she could command, she managed to control her desire for him, and she knew he could feel her restraint. When he raised his head at last, she struggled to listen to the wise voice in her head rather than the clamoring demands of her body, and smiled up at him a little wryly. "I really didn't hide it very well, did I?" she asked him huskily.

"I didn't know." His voice was a little hoarse, and his liquid eyes were burning like black fire.

"Maybe you just didn't want to know."

"Maybe." He smiled down at her, but there was a sharpened look of strain and tension in his lean face. His hand had slid underneath the weight of her netted hair when he kissed her, and now his fingers stroked her sensitive nape almost compulsively. "If I had known, it would have forced me to do something I didn't want to do."

"Send me away?"

Merlin nodded. "I wouldn't have had a choice. Not then. Not back in Seattle with things the way they were."

Serena managed another smile. "Then I'm very glad you didn't know. At least now we have a chance. Don't we?"

"I hope so. Serena, I can't lie to you. I-"

She reached up and touched his mouth gently, stopping him. "It's all right. I don't want lies, Richard, only the truth. As long as you're honest with me, I can bear whatever happens." Touching him was like becoming addicted to a powerful drug, she realized, forcing herself to take her hands off him and move half a step back.

"I don't want to let go of you," he murmured, one hand on her shoulder and the other still curved around her neck.

The husky note of longing in his deep voice almost yanked her back against him, but Serena managed to hang on to her resolve somehow. "The sun'll go down in a couple of hours," she reminded him a bit unsteadily. "If we're going to stay in the valley, we should make camp before the Curtain falls."

Merlin hesitated, then glanced up at the nearest mountain. "We have time to get up there, and I can hide our presence from whatever male wizards live on that mountain. By now you must need a break from the Curtain."

"It has made life uncomfortable," Serena admitted with forced lightness.

"Then we'll spend the night up there."

"Good." When his hands left her reluctantly, Serena added somewhat dryly, "You can tell me about that blond."

"What blond?"

She accepted his puzzlement as genuine, but had no intention of allowing the subject to drop-not when it had hovered in the back of her mind despite everything that had happened since. "The blond you were with the night my mind decided to inhabit yours," she reminded him.

"Oh. That blond."

Confronted with the incident a second time, Merlin didn't stiffen or take refuge in offended anger, as he had the first time, back in Seattle. Instead he seemed to Serena definitely uncomfortable and a bit defensive, and he settled his shoulders in an odd motion, as if bracing himself against some anticipated blow.

"You didn't think I had forgotten?"

Merlin smiled suddenly and turned away to retrieve his coat and backpack. "No, I didn't think that. You've always had a talent for remembering-even what it would have suited me better for you to forget."

Serena watched him shrug into the coat and thought again how regal it made him look. "All things considered," she said, "I think I have a right to ask. Now."

He looked at her seriously. "Yes, you do. Let's get up above the level of the Curtain and make camp for the night, and I'll tell you all about it. Fair enough?"

Nodding, Serena said, "Fair enough." She could only hope that his answer was bearable, especially after her claim that the truth was something she could stand.

From his position on what had once been the wide terrace of a large private home in the Old City, Varian watched the couple gather their things and start winding their way through the ruins heading north. Shielded from their awareness by distance and his ability to hide himself, he had watched them throughout what appeared to be a tense discussion that had culminated in a curiously restrained yet obviously intense embrace.