▼

12:48 P.M.

Kara cradled Jill on her lap in Ellen's dining room.

"So, bug. Are you bored here?"

"Oh, no!" Jill said. "Lucia lets me help her in the kitchen, and when she doesn't need help mixing stuff, I watch the VCR. It's got great stuff, Mom. I'll show you."

"That's okay, Jill. I've—"

But Jill was off and running. Kara followed. The TV was running by the time she reached the den.

"You see, you put the thing in here and the movie comes on the TV. I was watching Never ending Story before lunch. See? It's still on. It's really good."

Kara watched a boy sitting atop a seemingly endless snake with a dog's head as it wound through outer space

"And I saw Flight of the Navigator and Pinocchio— that was scary—Old Yeller—that made me cry. And Aunt Ellen's going to get me a new Disney movie every day! It's so great! Can we get one, Mom?"

"We'll think about it."

Kara vowed that when she finished her book she'd blow part of the final advance payment on a VCR. God, she had to get to work on it. But she couldn't think, couldn't organize her thoughts. Lately everything in her head seemed jumbled. She needed to get back to Pennsylvania, and soon.

But for now, the VCR was a blessing. With no school and no friends, Jill would have been bored stiff without it.

"When the movie's finished, we'll take a walk to a museum. How does that sound?"

"The one with the funny name?"

"Not the Guggenheim. Today it will be the Museum of Modern Art. But you can call it what you used to call me: MOM A."

Jill smiled and together they watched the end of her movie.

▼

9:30 P.M.

Kara headed back to Kelly's apartment early. She was tired. On the way she went over the morning's session with Dr. Gates. He had been his usual remote self, sitting behind his desk, twirling his key chain and contributing little more than a few noncommittal grunts while she free associated about her childhood. The whole thing seemed like an exercise in futility. But no doubt everyone thought that at first.

Patience, Kara, she told herself. Patience.

But she knew patience had never been her strong suit. She tended to want results yesterday, if not sooner.

She thought she had seen a slight reaction in Dr. Gates when she told him of her tentative plans to move the therapy to Philadelphia if things continued as smoothly as they had since Monday. It hadn't been much of a reaction. The slightest lifting of the eyebrows, the slightest down-turning of the mouth. Nothing more. Perhaps it had been her imagination. Perhaps she had simply wanted to see him react.

Two more nights, she told herself as she slipped the key into the vestibule's inner door.

She had promised herself that if the next two nights proved uneventful, she would abandon Kelly's apartment and begin sleeping at Ellen's. That would be easier for herself, and especially better for Jill.

As she turned the key, she glanced at the row of mailboxes to her right. She noticed the envelopes through the window of the 2C/K. Wade box.

Probably bills.

Which reminded her of Ed Bannion's offer to help her become administrator of Kelly's estate. It was sounding better all the time. Good to know that a seed of kindness you had planted while alive could reap benefits after you were dead. Even in New York.

Kara wondered where the mailbox key was. Probably on Kelly's key ring which was still in the personal effects—evidence bag at the Midtown North precinct house.

As she entered the apartment she realized that she no longer felt like some sort of graverobber whenever she walked through the door. She was getting used to it. She was almost comfortable here.

She hid the apartment key in the same place as the other night—in the rear of the oven—and then made a quick search for the mailbox key. No luck. She'd ask the super for a duplicate in the morning.

As she toweled herself off after her shower, she realized that she hadn't heard from Rob all day, which was a bit strange. But he had said he was loaded down with work.

She sat on the edge of the bed and debated taking the Halcion tonight. What if she didn't really need it.

Don't be a jerk. Take it as directed. Kelly didn't and look what happened to her.

Kara swallowed one and turned out the light.

▼

11:44 P.M.

Ed Bannion stood in the lobby of the Waldorf shaking hands with the very tanned Murray Weiss and Jay Delano, accepting their thanks for a wonderful dinner and wishing them in turn a safe flight back to the coast in the morning. Weiss and Delano were producing a feature that was to be shot entirely on location in Manhattan and this had been one of many trips to firm up budgets and leases and contracts and permits and the myriad legal documents necessary for a location shoot.

They were turning in early tonight—they had an early flight out of JFK tomorrow.

The three of them had started off first thing this morning and crunched numbers all day long. After that it was drinks and a long leisurely dinner at Le Cirque with three wines and after-dinner cordials. Ed was feeling loggy. They seemed fine.

Different metabolism. Or because they were still on L.A. time. That had to be it.

As Weiss and Delano headed for the elevators, Ed glanced past them and caught sight of a familiar blond haircut just entering an elevator; it belonged to a slim, shapely woman in a leather mini. She was on the arm of a swarthy man wearing a business suit and a turban. Ed froze for a moment. She looked just like Kelly Wade—no, Kara Wade!

And then the elevator doors closed.

Ed shook his head to clear it. He felt dizzy, frightened. It was like seeing a ghost. Too many after-dinner snifters of Irish Mist. That was it. The liquor was affecting his vision.

He turned and hurried outside for a cab.

February 19

11:40 A.M.

Kara made it back to Kelly's apartment before Ed showed up.

Another good morning, right from the start: bright sunshine, the apartment key just where she had left it, and no writing on walls or mirrors. She'd had breakfast with Jill, tutored her in math and reading, and had a nice long talk with Ellen.

She had vague memories of another sex dream. Only tiny, tantalizing fragments remained… a Hindu… all sorts of weird positions…

She wondered if it was the Halcion.

And once again she was left with the vague impression that Dr. Gates had been there. Not visible, not a participant in the dream, but there.

She guessed that wasn't so unusual. Dreams were supposed to be subconscious rehashing of the day's events. She'd had a session with Dr. Gates yesterday, and he was playing an important role in her life right now, so it wasn't surprising he'd be a presence in her dreams.

But where had the Hindu come in?

As she passed the mailboxes in the vestibule, she noticed that Kelly's seemed even fuller than last night. She'd asked the super about a key earlier this morning and he said he'd get her a replacement—for five dollars. Fine. She'd paid him.

Back in the apartment now, she found that a small envelope had been slipped under the door. It was the new mailbox key.

At that moment the buzzer from the vestibule rang. It was Ed. Instead of buzzing him in, she went down to meet him. She had to get the mail anyway.

Ed was looking dapper in a Burberry coat and a cashmere scarf. His brown hair was slightly windblown but otherwise he looked perfectly put together. He carried a slim briefcase that appeared to be polished cordovan leather.

"You're looking great!" he said with a smile as she opened the vestibule door.

"A bit of an exaggeration," she said, "but thanks anyway."

She felt shabby in her jeans and sweater, but she hadn't taken much time to pack on Monday morning. Her mind hadn't been on her wardrobe.