“You are. You’re hiding things from her, hiding me.” She understood then. “You’ve known where I was my whole life.”

He nodded once.

Ani tucked her hands in her back jeans pocket and rocked on her heels. “Why not tell Sorcha where I was? Why spare me? Why not save Jillian too?”

He stared at her for several very even breaths, silent in word, but his emotions ricocheted from excitement to fear to hope. Now that he was off-kilter, she could be nourished to the point of gluttony on only a taste of his feelings.

Like feeding from a king.

Devlin reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand. “Take your taste, Ani. It won’t make you understand.”

Her mouth opened at that. No one outside the court was to know what the Dark Court took for nourishment. Sharing that secret was punishable by starvation up to the point of death.

He lowered his hand from her cheek to her collarbone, so it rested just there on the edge of her throat, above her heart.

Ani wasn’t sure if it was a threat or a caress.

He stood perfectly still, hand motionless against her skin, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “Ask me again.” His voice was soft. “Ask me your question.”

She paused. He wasn’t shutting down his emotions. Where’s the trap?

“Would you kill me?” she asked.

“Not that one.” He brushed a thumb over her bare throat. “Ask the other one.”

She’d been waiting her whole life to ask this question, in this moment, of this faery. “Why did you kill Jillian?”

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “I didn’t. She’s hidden away in Faerie.”

Ani felt herself stumble, but Devlin caught her before she could fall. He lowered her to the ground. A lifetime of certainty, everything she thought she knew about her past, had shifted. Her mother was alive. It was almost too beautiful to believe. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. The monster she’d feared had saved her, saved Jillian, and risked himself to do so. After all these years of fearing the faery that had changed her life, Ani looked up at him and knew that he was why she was alive. Why Jillian lives. She couldn’t make all of those changes fit into her mind. All she could say was, “My mother.”

He knelt beside her. “She didn’t want you to know, but… I won’t have you hate me. I can’t keep you safe if you hate me.”

“She’s… where? Where is she? Is that where we’re going?”

“No. She’s safe, but we can’t go to her,” he said.

“I thought…” Ani tried to find words for the years of fear and loss, but there weren’t any. “I thought she was dead. That you…”

“It was for the best.”

“Help me understand how. Because of not knowing, I’ve spent my life thinking she died and fearing someone— apparently you—would come back to hurt Tish.” Ani felt tears sliding down her cheeks.

“I had few choices. Sorcha can see everyone but those closest to her or those whose lives matter in her life,” he started.

Ani couldn’t speak, couldn’t do much other than stare at him and wait for the rest.

“If I hid Jill, she wouldn’t be important enough to draw Sorcha’s attention… especially if Jill didn’t remember having children.” Devlin’s emotions went several different directions, but his inflection was unchanged. “The alternative was her death.”

“Do you save many people Sorcha wants killed?”

Suddenly, his emotions were completely blocked from her. “Only you.”

“And Jillian.”

“No. Jillian’s death wasn’t ordered, but… her vanishing would make Irial put you under his care. It was her idea. She would’ve done anything to keep you and your sister safe.”

Ani sat there. She considered reaching out to him, telling him that he’d given her everything by not killing Jillian.

Or me.

Almost an hour passed while they stayed silent beside each other, and then Ani looked up and caught his gaze. “You’re a traditional faery; aren’t you, Devlin? Three questions. That’s the rule, isn’t it?”

“It is, but I’ve already—”

“I want a third question,” she interrupted. “And I want you to promise to answer it.”

He didn’t look away or tell her that she had no right. Instead, he nodded.

“Tell me who you are, Devlin. You know everything about me.” She caught his hand in hers. “You’ve seen every step of my life.”

He startled. “I didn’t. I stayed away…. I only saw you in passing until the other night. I wouldn’t stalk you like that. It’s… unseemly.”

His expression begged for her understanding. The High Court was about restraint, not desire; it was about reason, not impulse. And Ani was realizing that Devlin was violating every trait of his court to be with her, to save her, and to hide her. What she didn’t know was why.

“You know me, my history, my family, and I need to know you.” She didn’t let go of his hand, as if holding on to him was the only thing that would keep either of them from falling apart. It wasn’t about skin hunger; it was about things making sense. Holding on to him made sense. “Tell me who you are. There’s more to what’s going on here.”

His already volatile emotions became so intense she shivered again.

He looked—and tasted—frightened. “In all of eternity, I have acted in the best interests of my queen… until you. And now, War tells me that you are the key to my queen’s death. I should kill you, Ani. I should’ve killed you then. I should kill you now.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“As am I,” he admitted, “but if your living means her death… I cannot sacrifice everything.”

“I know.” Ani didn’t have words that would make things make sense for either of them. That wasn’t really her strength. She went up on her knees so she was face-to-face with him.

He didn’t back away. His heartbeat didn’t race, not really, but she heard it speed.

For me.

Slowly, as if he were spun glass she could break, she leaned in and brushed her lips over his. It wasn’t even really a kiss, just a butterfly brush, but it felt like the sort of kiss that made the world stop turning—which made her even less able to speak.

What follows those sorts of sentences? Or emotions?

Ani started back toward her steed. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” He looked and felt alarmed. “I can’t take you to Jill. She’s in Faer—”

“I know,” she said. Whatever reason the High Queen had for ordering her death presumably hadn’t vanished, and the last thing she wanted was to have Sorcha actively pursuing her too. It hurt to realize that her mother being alive didn’t make her any less gone.

“What are the odds of my surviving? I mean, really?”

Devlin scowled. “Numbers are not what you need to think about. The probability is that Bananach will not stop thinking of you. The statistically likely results are—”

She held up her free hand. “Right. My odds are not good.”

They walked in silence until they reached the road.

“Camping,” she announced. “Rabbit used to take us camping, but only with a host of guards and just for a couple of days.”

“You’re a peculiar creature, Ani.” Devlin started to pull his hand free, but she held on. Just a little longer. She was pretty certain that this wasn’t a side of Devlin she’d be seeing very often.

She walked to the passenger side of the car. “I want to just go roam in the woods.”

“Cities are probably safer.”

Reluctantly, she let go of his hand. “So that’s the predictable answer, right? Bananach would figure you’d be predictable, what with the whole High Court thing. Let’s not be predictable.”

Devlin paused. “If I insist that cities are the better choice? Will you run?”

“No.” She kissed his cheek before she walked away. “You saved my mother and me. You’re deadly enough to keep me safe. And whether you like admitting it or know why, you are all sorts of interested in me. I’m not High Court, but I’m practical enough to sort out the reasons to stay together. I think I’ll keep you for now.”