"Difference is, I don't want to become a full-time guardian."

"You have no choice now, Riley."

I knew that, but that didn't mean I still couldn't rail against the prospect, even if my protests were only empty words. Hell, if Jack came up to me today and offered me the chance to walk away from becoming a guardian, I wouldn't, because there was no way in hell I'd walk away from the chance of making Deshon Starr pay. Not only because of what he'd done to me, but what he'd done to Misha, and to Kade's partner, and all those countless men and women still locked in breeding cells somewhere.

Not to mention all the things given life in his labs—abominations nature would never have created, creatures born for two purposes only. To kill as ordered, and to die as ordered.

A chill ran across my skin. I'd only come across a few of those creatures, but I had a bad, bad feeling that before this month was out, I'd see a whole lot more than I ever wanted to.

I licked my lips, and tried to concentrate on Rhoan. If I had to get him down on the mat to get out of here, then I would. I wanted, needed, to grab a little bit more of a normal life before the crap set in again.

Because it was coming. I could feel it.

A shadow flickered across one of the windows lining the wall to the right of Rhoan. Given it was nearly six, it was probably just a guardian getting himself ready for the evening's hunt. This arena was on sublevel 5, right next to the guardian sleeping quarters. Which, amusingly, did contain coffins. Some vamps just loved living up to human expectations, even if they weren't actually necessary.

Not that any humans ever came down here. That would be like leading a lamb into the midst of a hungry den of lions. To say it would get ugly very quickly would be an understatement. Guardians might be paid to protect humans, but they sure as hell weren't above snacking on the occasional one, either.

The shadow slipped past another window, and this time, Rhoan's gaze flickered in that direction. Only briefly, but that half-second gave me an idea.

I twisted, spinning and lashing out with one bare foot. My heel skimmed his stomach, forcing him backward. His baton arced around, his blow barely avoiding my shin, then he followed the impetus of the movement so that he was spinning and kicking in one smooth motion. His heel whistled mere inches from my nose, and probably would have connected if I hadn't leaned back.

He nodded approvingly. "Now, that's a little more like it."

I grunted, shifting my stance and throwing the baton from one hand to the other. The slap of wood against flesh echoed in the silence surrounding us, and tension ran across his shoulders. I held his gaze, then caught the baton left-handed and started to hit out. Only to pull the blow up short and let my gaze go beyond him.

"Hi, Jack."

Rhoan turned around, and, in that moment, I dropped and kicked his legs out from underneath him. He hit the mat with a loud splat, his surprised expression dissolving quickly into a bark of laughter.

"The oldest trick in the book, and I fell for it."

I grinned. "Old tricks sometimes have their uses."

"And I guess this means you're free to go." He held up a hand. "Help me up."

"I'm not that stupid, brother."

Amusement twinkled in his silvery eyes as he climbed to his feet. "Worth a try, I guess."

"So I can go?"

"That was the deal." He rose and walked across to the side of the arena to grab the towel he'd draped over the railing earlier. "But you're back here tomorrow morning at six sharp."

I groaned. "That's just plain mean."

He ran the towel across his spiky red hair, and even though I couldn't see his expression, I knew he was grinning. Sometimes my brother could be a real pain in the ass.

"Maybe next time you'll reconsider the option of cheating."

"It's not cheating if it works."

Though his smile still lingered, little of that amusement reached his eyes. He was worried, truly worried, about my part in the mission we'd soon embark on. He didn't want me to do this any more than I'd wanted him to become a guardian. But as he'd said to me all those years ago, some directions in life just had to be accepted.

"You're here to learn defense and offense," he said. "Inane tricks won't save your life."

"If they only save it once, then they're worth trying."

He shook his head. "I can see I'm not going to talk any sense into you until after the sexfest."

"Glad you finally caught the gist of my whole conversation for the last hour." I grinned. "And hey, look on the bright side: Liander's going to be mighty pleased to see you at a normal hour for a change."

He grunted. "Well, if he wasn't so damn clingy, he might see me early more often."

I raised my eyebrows at the annoyance in his tone. "He gives you free rein to be with who you want. I hardly call that clingy."

"I know, but—" He stopped and shrugged. "I don't know if I can give him what he wants. I don't know if I'll ever be able to."

Which was almost exactly what I'd said to Quinn two months ago. It was amazing how our love lives seemed to be following similar lines—although my reasons for saying those words to Quinn were entirely different than my brother's statement. Rhoan actually loved Liander. I couldn't say the same about Quinn. Hell, we barely even knew each other beyond the realms of sex.

And at least Liander had stuck with Rhoan, through good times and bad. Quinn had done a runner yet again, despite his declared intention of not letting me go until we'd fully explored this thing between us.

How he intended to do that from Sydney was anyone's guess. Maybe he'd simply decided I was just too much trouble and it was better to walk away. Though given we were sharing some mighty erotic dreams, I doubted walking away was a real option for either of us right now.

I touched a hand to my brother's arm, and squeezed lightly. "Liander loves you. And he'll wait for you."

Rhoan's gaze met mine. "I'm not sure I'm worth such devotion."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm that devoted."

He flicked my cheek lightly. "Yeah, but you're my twin and my pack-mate. You have to be."

"True." I studied him for a moment, then said softly, "Just because our pack didn't love us doesn't mean we're unworthy of love."

How many times had he said that to me over the years? And yet now, when the crunch came for him, he wasn't truly ready to believe it himself.

His smile was sweet, but sort of sad. "The difference between you and me is the fact I don't want to settle down. At all. I want to be free to be with whomever I choose, whenever I chose."

"Whomever?" I interrupted, with more than a little annoyance in my voice. "Don't tell me you're still seeing Davern?"

Rhoan had the good grace to look uncomfortable. "Only when he's in town, and that's not often these days."

"But didn't you tell Liander you two were no longer an item?"

"Well, we aren't. We're more occasional lovers."

"A nitpicky difference Liander will not appreciate."

He shrugged. "Look, maybe my inability to commit is just a part of what I am."

I knew he was referring to his sexuality more than his being a guardian or a half-breed. And that angered me.

"Liander's just like you, and he wants to settle down. Don't start making excuses just because you're scared."

He raised his eyebrows, yet there was a keenness in his silvery eyes that suggested I was right on the mark. "Scared?"

"Yeah. Settling down means making a commitment. And you don't want to commit to anyone because of what you do, not because of what you are. Admit that to yourself—and him—if nothing else."

"He deserves more than just a part-time partner."

"Maybe he does," I agreed, eliciting a startled response from Rhoan. "But neither you or I have the right to decide that for him. It's his choice, his life."