Eventually, you will have to fight a zombie, so make sure that you are always armed. Guns are not necessarily the best option. They make a lot of noise, and they have to be reloaded. Also, to take down a zombie with a bullet, you need to shoot it in the head, and they won’t normally stand still while you take aim.

An ax, baseball bat, or sword can be more effective. This was demonstrated in the “Zombie Special” episode of Mythbusters, where it was scientifically proven, to a high standard, that you can kill far more zombies per minute with an ax than with a gun. The relative merits of various weapons are listed in Table 1-2.

Table 1-2: WEAPON PROS AND CONS

In fact, different weapons will come into their own in different situations, and ultimately your zombie-killing instrument comes down to personal choice. I favor the often neglected iron bar as my weapon of choice. Half-Life players will be well aware of the effectiveness of this weapon.

Regardless of what you pack, fighting zombies is extremely risky. Setting traps to kill zombies from a distance is much better than taking them on at close range. A pit with bait hung over the opening will often be sufficient to induce zombie after zombie to fall down the hole. A mine shaft is ideal for this, as any hole you dig is unlikely to be deep enough to keep the zombies from climbing back out over each other as it fills up.

Thinning out the zombie population in your area will help to reduce the chance of zombies attacking in unmanageable numbers, and it’s the socially responsible thing to do for any other survivors that might be in the area. It’s the postapocalyptic equivalent of cleaning up after your dog.

When your zombie situation gets more hectic, have a supply of Molotov cocktails (homemade incendiary bombs using bottles and often gasoline) on hand to hurl at zombies from a safe distance. Other projectiles, such as grenades, can also be effective if you can get your hands on them.

DRESSING TO KILL

Whether fighting zombies or trying to escape them, it’s important to dress well. That is, no long hair or loose clothing. Once a zombie gets hold of you, it will drag you inexorably toward its mouth until you get into biting range. In other words, wear the kind of clothes you would around machines in a workshop: no long hair to grab and definitely no neckties.

Armor can be improvised. Something as simple as thick cord around your forearms can prevent a bite from penetrating the skin. But don’t forget to balance mobility with protection. A medieval suit of armor might provide good protection for a time, but it will slow you down significantly (Figure 1-3). It’s hard to put up much of a fight when you can’t get away!

Figure 1-3: A heavy suit of armor can decrease your mobility.

You should also think carefully about the dangers of becoming infected from blood spatter when killing zombies. Try to breathe through your nose while fighting or even wear a face mask.

STAYING HEALTHY

Healthcare in a postapocalyptic world is a pretty do-it-yourself affair. You’ll be lucky to find a medic in your group, as medical staff will have been very much in the thick of it during the initial outbreak and therefore quite unlikely to have survived.

This means that you need to keep yourself healthy. Getting enough exercise is not going to be a problem. Just staying alive, without all the modern conveniences that we take for granted, takes quite a lot of effort. However, you need to stay well to survive, and that includes paying special attention to any minor injuries. All cuts and open wounds must immediately be dressed with antiseptic and covered with a bandage or dressing. You should also keep a stock of antibiotics. If you can’t get your physician to prescribe them now, then raiding a hospital or pharmacy will be a priority once the zombie apocalypse starts.

Boil any drinking water not from a sealed bottle, and don’t eat anything likely to give you food poisoning.

If you are nearsighted, then a spare pair of glasses is an essential item. Not being able to see well could easily be fatal in this new world.

BE PREPARED

Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts probably already have a special badge for zombie fighting; if not, they will after the apocalypse! In any case, their motto is a good one: be prepared. Always think ahead, adopting the astronaut mentality of anticipating the next thing that could kill you as well as the thing after that (if you have time). Rehearse scenarios in your head continually to minimize the chances of disaster when something takes you by surprise.

Keep a go bag. This small backpack should be kept close at all times so that you can grab it and run at a moment’s notice. It should contain just enough to keep you alive for a few days. A backpack leaves your hands free for fighting. A good contents list for the backpack might look like this:

• Bottled water

• High-energy food such as chocolate and cookies

• Multipurpose pocket knife

• Thermal blanket

• Flashlight

• Spare weapon

Wherever you are, always make sure that there is more than one way to get away. You need a front door and a back door. No matter how impenetrable you think your base is, there is always the possibility that the worst will happen, so have an escape route.

OTHER SURVIVORS

Teaming up with other survivors can be a mixed blessing. On the one hand, the more people, the more food and drink you need. On the other hand, if you can run faster than the others in your group, then you can get away while the zombies are eating them.

TOP TIPS

Here are some top tips for survival:

• Don’t split up. The group should stay together.

• Don’t hesitate to kill a person who is turning into a zombie.

• Never walk backward while looking forward, especially if staccato string music is playing.

• Never launch into a long monologue.

• Don’t be the obnoxious one who is obviously going to get eaten.

There are, of course, other advantages to teaming up. For one thing, there’s the comfort of being with other humans. Also, you can keep watch in shifts, and if your team has diverse sets of skills, you can benefit from the expertise of others. Sadly for the old and weak, there is little advantage to their presence over and above being a culinary diversion for zombies, unless they can provide practical skills, wisdom, or leadership.

There is also the possibility that others will be so concerned about their own survival that they will take things from you that they covet. Taking and betraying happen in the best of times, let alone during a zombie apocalypse, so choose your friends wisely. As long as there is mutual advantage in staying together, the group will hold. Generally, the longer you stay together, the more group loyalty will develop as friendships strengthen.

PARTS FOR PROJECTS

This is a project book, so you are going to need parts. Fortunately, a lot of useful material will be littering the streets and roads.

CARS

Car batteries are particularly useful. In fact, cars are full of useful things that can be repurposed (Figure 1-4).

• Horns that can be used as alarms or zombie distractors (see Chapters 4 and 9)

• Alternators for making generators (see Chapter 2)

• 12V light bulbs for illumination and to serve as indicators

• Assorted switches

• Relays for automated switching

• Miles and miles of copper wire