She sniffles and then rests her hands on her hips as her eyes fall to the floor.

“I hate him, Carter,” she whispers.

I can tell by the hurt in her voice that something happened when she went upstairs. I look up at the ceiling toward their bedroom, wondering what it could have been. When I look back at her, she’s staring at me.

“He’s passed out,” she says. “He’s using again.”

I shouldn’t feel relieved that he’s passed out, but I am. “Again?”

She takes a couple of steps toward me and then rests her back against the countertop, folding her arms together. She wipes at another tear. “He gets…” She inhales a breath and I can tell it’s hard for her to talk about. I walk over to her and stand next to her.

“He gets paranoid,” she says. “He starts to think he’s about to get caught and the pressure gets to be too much for him. He thinks I don’t notice these things, but I do. And then he starts using and when that happens, things…things turn bad for all of us.”

I’m warring with myself right now. Part of me wants to comfort her-part of me wants to selfishly push her for more information. “All of us?”

She nods. “Me. Jon. The guys who work for him.” She nudges her head in my direction. “You.”

She says that last word with a dose of bitterness. Her top teeth press into her bottom lip and she looks in the other direction. I continue to stare at her. Her hands are twisting into the sleeves of her shirt as she hugs herself tighter and tighter.

She isn’t crying anymore. She’s angry now and I’m not sure if she’s angry at me or Asa.

I look back at the words on the board.

He unclenched his fists and dropped her worries, unable to catch them for her. But she picked them back up and dusted them off. She wants to be able to hold them herself now.

Rereading those words and watching her right now gives me clarity. All this time I’ve been worried for her. Concerned that she was being brainwashed and had no idea what kind of person Asa is.

“I was wrong about you,” I tell her.

She looks at me again, this time her lips are pressed together, her eyebrows drawn apart in curiosity.

“I thought you needed protection,” I clarify. “I thought maybe you were naïve when it came to Asa. But you aren’t. You know him better than anyone. I thought he was using you…but you’re the one using him.”

Her jaw tightens with those words and she grits her teeth. “I’m using him?”

I nod.

Her curiosity turns into anger as she narrows her eyes. “I was wrong about you, too,” she says. “I thought you were different. But you’re a bastard, just like the rest of them.”

She turns to walk away, but I grab her elbow and pull her back. She gasps when I spin her around and grip her forearms. “I’m not finished,” I tell her.

Her eyes are full of shock now. I loosen my grip on her arms, rubbing my thumbs back and forth to hopefully put her anger a little more at ease.

“Do you love him?” I ask her.

She inhales slowly, but doesn’t respond.

“No,” I say, answering for her. “You don’t. You probably used to, but the only thing love relies on for survival is respect. And you don’t get that from him.”

She remains silent as she waits for me to get my point across.

“You don’t love him. You’re still here-not because you’re too weak to leave-but because you’re too strong to leave. You put up with this shit because you know it’s not about you. It’s not about your own safety. You do it for your brother. Everything you do, you do for other people. Not many people have that kind of courage and strength, Sloan. It’s fucking inspiring.”

Her lips part and she sucks in a soft rush of air. Based on her reaction, I’d say she’s not used to being complimented. And that’s sad.

“I’m sorry I said those things to you at the restaurant,” I tell her. “You aren’t weak. You aren’t Asa’s doormat. You’re…”

A tear trickles out of her left eye and trails down her cheek. I lift my hand and press it to her cheek, letting the tear fall against my thumb. I don’t wipe it away. If anything, I want to bottle it up and save it. This is probably the first tear she’s ever cried as the result of a compliment, rather than an insult.

“I’m what?” she asks, her voice soft and hopeful. She’s looking up at me, wanting-needing me to finish my sentence.

My eyes drop to her mouth and my chest constricts at the thought of what her lips would feel like sliding against mine. I swallow hard and finish saying the words I know she needs to hear.

“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” I whisper. “You are everything Asa doesn’t deserve. And…” I take a step closer and she tilts her head up as I lean in toward her and whisper, “And everything I want.”

She sighs softly and we’re so close I can feel her breath on my lips—so close I can already taste her. I run my hand through her hair to pull her toward me, but the second our lips almost meet, the backdoor to the kitchen begins to open. We both separate, facing opposite directions. I open the refrigerator just as Jon walks into the kitchen. I look away from him, but not before seeing the knowing look he shoots me. The suspicion.

Shit.

I hear Sloan open a cabinet behind me. I reach inside the refrigerator. “Want a beer?” I ask Jon, holding it out toward him.

He takes two deliberately slow steps toward me, eyeing me hard, and takes the beer from my hand. He glances behind me at Sloan as he twists off the cap. “What did I just interrupt?”

I wait to see if Sloan wants to answer, but she doesn’t. There’s just a long stretch of silence. I grab another beer out of the fridge and then close the door, glancing in Sloan’s direction. Her back is to both of us as she pours herself a glass of water from the sink.

I could act like Jon is overreacting. I could feign innocence. But Jon would know better. I know what it looked like when he walked in here-both of us turning in opposite directions, separating, looking guilty.

Jon doesn’t know me. For all he knows, I’m just like him. Making him think I’m not worried about repercussions would probably gain me more respect from him than not. Making him believe I think Sloan is just another “whore” (as Asa would say) would be better in his eyes than if I actually thought she was anything different.

I look back at Jon and smirk as I take a step toward him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Just as I pass him, I wink, allowing him to think whatever the hell he wants.