"I can't help it if I stammer," I managed to say.

"Are you an associate of Mr. Flint's?" asked Mr. Romany.

"He's my bodyguard," said Thaddeus with a smile.

"I see," said Mr. Romany, showing no reaction whatsoever.

There was a long, awkward silence.

"If you've nothing further to say, I have work to do," said Mr. Romany at last. "It has been an honor meeting you."

"Do you mind if we look around a bit more?" asked Thaddeus innocently.

"Be my guest," replied Mr. Romany. His face looked disappointed, but I got the feeling that his eyes were amused. "We do have one rule, however, Mr. Flint: we do not allow spectators to speak to our exhibits."

"You wouldn't be afraid I'll buy a couple of them off, would you?" asked Thaddeus.

"No," said Mr. Romany, and this time there was no doubt that he was amused. "We simply feel that conversing with them would remove some of their air of mystery and, shall we say, novelty."

"Whatever you say," replied Thaddeus.

Mr. Romany walked off without another word, and Thaddeus began walking slowly around the perimeter of the huge tent.

"You see that door that says 'No Admittance'?" he whispered to me.

"Yes," I said.

"What do you suppose is behind it?"

I told him I didn't know, and he chuckled.

"I'll lay you plenty of seven-to-five that it's this Ahasuerus guy's office," he said.

"But Mr. Romany said that he won't speak to anyone," I said.

"I'm not just anyone," replied Thaddeus. "While I keep Romany busy, why don't you just scoot over there and see where it leads?"

"But—"

"Nobody who wastes as much time reading as you do can hold much truck with ignorance being bliss."

"I don't want any trouble," I said.

"Well," grinned Thaddeus, "you just think about it for a few seconds and see if you can decide who can give you more trouble—Romany or me."

I sighed and began approaching the door as indirectly as I could while Thaddeus walked after Mr. Romany and tried to engage him in conversation.

When I finally got there I found that it wasn't just a tent flap, but a solid metal door. I looked around to make sure no one was watching me and tried the handle. It was locked.

Then I put my ear to the door and listened. I couldn't hear any voices, but I heard some strange grunting or growling sound. It wasn't like anything I'd ever heard before, and it scared me. I walked away quickly and caught Thaddeus' eye. He left Mr. Romany and joined me a minute later.

"Well?" he demanded.

"It was locked."

"I knew it! It's got to be Ahasuerus' office."

"I don't think so," I replied. "I heard strange sounds coming from there."

He asked me what kind, and I tried to reproduce them, but I had even more trouble than I have with words, and finally he got tired of listening.

"Well, whatever it is, I want a look inside," he said decisively. "Maybe we'll come back later after he's closed up shop for the day."

"I don't think we should," I said.

"If I listened to you, we'd both be on welfare," he snapped. "This guy's got more freaks than he needs. I've got a bunch of frustrated actors who couldn't draw flies at a watermelon party. We ought to be able to reach an agreement.

I want to meet this guy Ahasuerus, feel him out, find out what gets to him."

"As long as it isn't money," I said.

"If I had money, I wouldn't be here trying to make a deal, you goddamned dwarf!" said Thaddeus. "Money can't be the only thing that turns him on, or he wouldn't be out here in the middle of Vermont with a patched-up tent and no heater, playing for quarters and half dollars. Maybe I can interest him in shacking up with one of the girls from the meat show."

"Maybe he won't want to reach that kind of agreement."

"Then maybe I'll trade you to him for the Rubber Man," said Thaddeus irritably. "Just once, I wish you'd stop telling me what I can't do." His eyes fell on the Three-Breasted Woman, and he turned to face her. "Wouldn't she go over in the meat show!"

I was going to answer him, but just then she looked right at me and winked and I started blushing furiously, so I just turned away and said nothing.

"Well, there's no reason why this should be a totally wasted trip," said Thaddeus, smiling at the Three-Breasted Woman. "Take a walk, Tojo."

"Where?" I asked.

"Anywhere. I don't want an ugly little wart like you cramping my style."

"Mr. Romany said not to talk to the exhibits."

"And Thaddeus Flint said scram!" he snapped.

I could see from the familiar predatory smirk on his face that nothing I could say or do was going to keep him away from the Three-Breasted Woman, so I shrugged and walked out the exit. I knew that Thaddeus wasn't inclined to accept an answer of No from a woman—any woman—so I felt I had at least half an hour to kill even if his quest was ultimately unsuccessful.

The cold October wind chilled me right through my coat, and I zipped it all the way to the top. It was twilight, and the crowds were starting to come out in force.

The carnival only had a trio of rides—the Zipper, the Tilt-a-Whirl, and a Ferris wheel—and none of them were doing much business, probably due to the weather. There were about twenty games lining the Midway, and from what I could see most of them were honest. There was also a Bozo Cage setup—one of those things where you throw balls at a target and try to dunk the guy sitting inside the cage—but the water was too cold, and there was nobody on duty. I couldn't see any signs of a girlie show, even though the local cops were pretty lenient about how strong the girls could work. There were three food stands, which were doing a fair business selling coffee and red-hots, and one of them had also warmed up a huge tureen of soup.

I found it pretty easy to reach the same conclusion as Thaddeus: it was the freak show that was taking all our business away. Our rides were better, our games were more exciting, our girls had no competition, even our food stands were better stocked. Except for the freak show, it was a pretty patched-up and run-of-the-mill carnival, the kind that goes from town to town renting out to local Jaycee groups every weekend.

The freak show made up for the rest of it, though. If there were two thousand people on the grounds, eighteen hundred had to be inside the tent or lined up to buy tickets. Paying money to gape at someone else's deformity was a concept that I could never understand—but then, I could never figure out why happily married men bought tickets to our girlie show, either.

It was totally dark out when I decided to go back and see if Thaddeus was ready to leave yet. As I was walking toward the tent a group of men fell into step behind me. I stepped aside to let them pass, but they came to a stop too.

"What the hell is he doing out of the freak show?" said one of them, and the others all laughed.

"Hey, sonny, ain't it past your bedtime?" said another.

I kept my eyes trained on the tent and kept walking. Suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, swinging me around.

"Where's your manners?" said a blond man with long greasy hair and an acne-marked face. "Didn't you hear me just ask you a question?"

I tried to tell him to leave me alone, but I couldn't force the words out.