“Oh, please. You love it. You love all of us.”

“I do.” Her voice softened. “But because I love you, I feel it every time you hurt and every time you’re disappointed. I understand how upset you are, Kitty. But it’s your life, not the government’s, and you can make something of yourself no matter what they tell you.”

I stared at my hands and picked at a ragged nail. I wanted to believe her. I did. But how could I when everything was a mess? “Benjy’s going to hate me for doing this, isn’t he?”

“I don’t think that boy could hate you even if you killed him,” she said. “Though if you get yourself killed, I suppose he might hate you for that.”

I frowned. She was right. Of course she was right, which only made the unease in the pit of my stomach grow. “I did something stupid today.”

“Stupider than usual?” she said, but there was a hint of amusement in her voice. At least one of us thought this was funny.

“I tried to steal an orange from the market,” I said. “A Shield caught us, and we ran. I told him my name, so he knows I’m an Extra.” All Extras—second children of IVs and below, who were only allowed to have one—had the last name of Doe. Benjy did. Tabs did. Even Nina did. And because most Extras were sent Elsewhere when their parents couldn’t pay the fine, there were only a few group homes scattered throughout D.C. Nina’s was the only one within five miles of the market.

“I doubt he’ll come all this way for an orange,” she said as she tapped her spatula against the side of the bowl. That was what I loved most about Nina: she’d heard it all, and nothing any of us threw at her ever surprised her. “You know, once upon a time, everyone could walk into a market and buy anything they wanted.”

I snorted. “Fairy tales start with ‘once upon a time,’ Nina.”

“It was a fairy tale of sorts, but that didn’t make it any less real,” she said, lowering the bowl to focus on me. “It’s frightening how much things change in seventy-one years.”

“Yeah, and in another seventy-one, they won’t bother giving IIs and IIIs jobs,” I said. “They’ll take us out back and shoot us instead.”

“There will always be a need for people to perform menial labor.” She crossed my path to get to the sink and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “The Harts won’t always be in power. They’re flesh and blood just like us. Things will change.”

“Not in my lifetime,” I said, and a chill ran down my spine. Talking about the Harts like this was treason. I had nothing left to lose, but forty kids relied on Nina.

“The world doesn’t exist because you gave it permission,” she said. “Things happen all the time that you and I and every other citizen who trusts the media never hear about, things the Harts don’t want you to know.”

“Like what? If anything important happened, everyone would be talking about it.”

“Not the people who want to live to see next week. The deaths of Yvonne and Jameson Hart, for instance.”

“They died in a car accident.”

“Did they?” said Nina, eyebrow raised. “Or is that what the media told you?”

I eyed her. The prime minister’s wife and elder son’s funerals the year before had been mandatory viewing. Seeing the Harts gathered under black umbrellas and watching the coffins being lowered into the ground—it was the only time I’d ever felt sorry for them. “Are you saying it wasn’t a car accident?”

“I’m saying even if it was, you would never know. But the world is out there, and it understands that the illusion of knowledge and freedom is not the same as the real thing. Eventually it will fade, and there are those who will do whatever it takes to make that happen sooner rather than later.” She set her hands on my shoulders, staring me straight in the eye. “Listen to me, because I will only say this once. You have a choice. You can choose to accept the hand the Harts dealt you, or you can pick yourself up and do something about it.”

“What, like scream and protest and get myself killed? It’d be better than this, that’s for damn sure.”

“If you’re going to shun the role the government gave you and live your life underground, then why not do something to change all of this, as well?”

“Nothing I do will make this better. My rank’s already there, and it’s not going away.”

“It only means something because the Harts decided it did, and we went along with it,” she said. “You are more than the number on the back of your neck, Kitty. Never forget that.”

Never forget that if I’d been born a hundred years earlier, I would never have had to deal with any of this? “I won’t.”

“Good girl.” She patted my cheek. “I trust you not to tell any of the kids about this. Not even Benjy. It’s safer for him that way, and I know you don’t want to get him into trouble. But you’re an adult now, and it’s time you learned what’s really going on. If you want to do something worthwhile with your life, all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll put you in touch with people who can help.”

I hesitated. “Who—”

A loud knock on the door made me jump. Nina wiped her hands on her apron and muttered a curse, and the tension in the air disappeared. “Don’t you dare touch anything,” she said, bustling into the hallway.

The moment she turned the corner, I dipped my finger into the bowl and hooked a gob of dough. It melted in my mouth, and I let out a contented sigh, the weight of our conversation forgotten. My last meal in the only home I’d ever known would include my favorite biscuits. That was a nice surprise. And all I wanted today were nice surprises, not the kind that could get me killed. Maybe once Benjy had his VI and was safe, I would talk to Nina. Right now the only thing I could think about was how I was going to survive the next month.

“Can I help you, gentlemen?” Nina’s voice floated through the hallway and into the kitchen, and I could tell by her tone that it wasn’t someone she knew.

“Nina Doe?” said an authoritative voice. Moving silently across the kitchen, I peeked around the corner, and a gasp caught in my throat.

An official dressed in black and silver stood in the doorway. Beside him, with a deep scowl on his face, stood the Shield from the market.

“Is there something you need?” said Nina briskly to the men.

I pressed my back against the wall and frantically searched for a way out. I could escape through the back door, but there was a chance they’d brought others. Besides, the fence was too high to jump without Benjy giving me a boost, and I’d have to go around the front way anyway.

I was trapped.

“Ma’am, I’m Colonel Jeremiah Sampson. I’m looking for Kitty Doe,” said the official, and I forced myself to take a deep breath. Panicking wouldn’t help. There had to be somewhere I could hide.

My gaze fell on the cabinet underneath the sink, and I hurried toward it. It would be tight, but there was a chance they wouldn’t look there. I slipped inside and closed the door seconds before three sets of footsteps entered the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, but she isn’t here,” said Nina. “May I ask what this is regarding?”

“Government business,” said the Shield, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Nina and I both knew what that meant: a bullet with my name on it. But why was the official in the strange uniform there? Surely the Shield from the market was more than capable of pulling the trigger himself.

The footsteps grew nearer, and I held my breath, keeping as still as I could. My back pressed up against a pipe, and I had to curl into a ball to avoid hitting the sink above me. The chemical scent of cleaner burned my nose, and my heart pounded against my rib cage, trying to get in every last beat it could before it stopped.

The footsteps paused in front of the sink, and I winced at the rush of water when someone turned on the faucet.

“I’m happy to tell her you dropped by when she comes home,” said Nina, her voice distorted from the water, but nearby. She was in front of the sink, blocking the cabinet. Did she know where I was hiding?