A small part of me understood that it must have been terrifying to face death when they’d lived for eons thinking they never would. Or at the very least, when they faded, it would be peaceful and without any pain. Death was part of being human, and I hadn’t forgotten what that felt like yet. They’d never had the chance to learn. But that wasn’t an excuse.

“Just because you had to be good enough to be one of us doesn’t mean the rest of us are.” Ava glared at Dylan as well, and he seemed to shrink under the intensity of it. “We’ve never exactly been upstanding, you know. We’re just good at acting holier than thou when it suits our needs. And some of us are better actors than others.”

I stood, and the screech of my stool against the floor gave me goose bumps. “I don’t care what you do. I’m going to find them. You can stay here and sit on your asses all day, or you can help. It doesn’t matter to me. But I would rather be torn to shreds than live with the guilt of knowing that I could have done something and didn’t.”

I didn’t want to die, and in a perfect world, no one would have to. This wasn’t a perfect world though, and they weren’t perfect beings. I wasn’t exactly making the smartest move either, storming off without a plan or an inkling of which direction to go in, but it was better than sitting around and driving myself crazy waiting for something that might never happen.

I turned on my heel and started down the aisle, ignoring the pain in my leg. I took three steps, but the sound of Irene’s voice echoed through the hall.

“Wait.”

I stopped and faced them again, my arms crossed tightly. “I’m not going to let any of you talk me out of it. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want any of you to either, but sitting around here waiting for Cronus to turn us into barbeque won’t do anything to help that.”

“We weren’t going to stop you,” said Dylan, and Ava shot him a look. His eyes narrowed, and he squared his shoulders, but at least he didn’t say anything else.

Irene cleared her throat. “What my dear brother meant to say is that while we are ineffective in the Underworld, there are things we could do aboveground.”

“Like what?” I said warily, wondering if it included finding a spot to hide.

“Create a trap,” said Nicholas, the large blond who had acted as my bodyguard in Eden. He rarely spoke, and I had to glance around the circle before I realized who was talking. “There are only so many exits Cronus can use if Henry—” He paused, and I knew what he meant to say. If Henry didn’t survive. “If Henry isn’t able to keep him in the Underworld,” he amended. “He might tip his hand early on and show us the route he intends to take. We could create a trap for him, something to hold him until we have a plan.”

“He’ll have to open the gate first if he wants to reach the surface,” said Dylan. “I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

I looked at James for an explanation, but he was too busy staring at his hands. “What do you mean?” I said. “Isn’t he already through?”

The other gods looked at me as if I’d asked why one plus one equals two, and my cheeks burned under their stares.

“Cronus is still behind the gate,” said Irene. “While he’s awake, he can reach corners of the Underworld most of us don’t even know exist. Which is why the others kept him asleep all this time. But what you saw earlier was only a very small part of him, and if he were to fully escape, the damage would be catastrophic.”

All of the blood drained from my face. “That—that was only a piece?”

“Like a pinkie,” said Dylan, wiggling his finger for emphasis. “Do you get it now, why none of us wants to fight him?”

I did, and my mouth went dry. “That doesn’t change anything.”

“No, it doesn’t,” said Irene. “We will all work together to create a trap as soon as we discover the nearest possible exit point.”

“You can,” said Dylan with a scowl. “I want nothing to do with this. I love a good fight, but this is slaughter.”

“Oh, you’ll help,” said Irene. “Even if I have to drag you there by the ears.”

“And how do you think you’ll manage that?” said Dylan.

Her eyes glinted. “Do you really want to find out?”

His expression hardened, and I could practically see the smoke pouring out of his ears. “Whatever. At least it isn’t as stupid as aimlessly wandering around the Underworld.”

“Yes, I know it’s stupid, thanks,” I snapped. “I’m still going to try, and you acting like an ass isn’t going to stop me.”

I started toward the exit again, and this time no one spoke up. The farther away I got from them, the more light-headed I became. I might never see any of them again. By the time I found Cronus’s prison, it could be too late—and that was if I ever found it to begin with. Everyone I knew could die, and I might spend eternity wandering the Underworld searching for something that no longer existed.

As soon as I’d made it into the antechamber, I sank onto the bench and put my head between my knees. This couldn’t be happening. The world was going to end unless someone uncovered a miracle, and it wasn’t going to be me. Dylan was right—I wasn’t even sure where I was going, let alone what I was going to do when I got there. But what were my other options? Stay with the remaining members of the council and wait to be killed? I’d be useless setting up a trap. I couldn’t even control my visions, let alone any power I might have.

I couldn’t do nothing and let everyone else handle the battle. Maybe it wasn’t entirely my fault, but I’d certainly helped push Calliope past her breaking point, and I wasn’t in the habit of letting others clean up my messes while I stood around and watched. We had no prayer of winning without the six siblings, and since no one else was going after them, that left me.

Would this have happened if I’d shown Calliope a little more compassion, if I hadn’t kept her from seeing Henry for the rest of her existence? Would she still have done this?

Playing what-if was pointless. If one of the other girls had succeeded, Calliope would’ve done the same thing. There was nothing I could have possibly done to make Calliope like me, not when she hated me from the beginning. Whatever role I played in pushing her over the edge, she was the one who made the decision to do this.

Even though I knew that, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

I heard footsteps approaching from the hall, and a moment later the door opened and shut. I didn’t look up. If it was James coming to tell me I was making a mistake, or Ava insisting I couldn’t give up my life for this, I didn’t care. I was doing this whether they liked it or not.

Someone sat down beside me, and the gentle hand on my back was unmistakably Ava’s. “Are you okay?” she said softly, and I straightened, keeping my eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to keep the light-headedness at bay.

“Yeah, I’m peachy,” I muttered. Her hand stilled, and I sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

“It’s just that you learned there’s a pretty good chance the world is going to end, and you need a moment to think,” said Ava, and I nodded. She seemed to be taking it better now, but she’d been with the council before I’d gotten there. She’d had more time to absorb it.

“What would have happened if things had been different?” I said. “If I hadn’t passed the test—”

“She still would’ve done it.”

I opened my eyes. James leaned against the wall, his hands shoved in his pockets and his hair a mess. It was a weight off my shoulders to hear him voicing the same thoughts I was trying to convince myself were true, and I gave him a small smile.

He didn’t smile back. “Calliope’s been planning this for a long time, and once she woke Cronus, nothing was going to stop her. She wants you dead. She wants us all dead. She stopped thinking rationally long before you were born, and no amount of blaming yourself is going to change that.”