That was the only thing I could think of during Kane’s declaration of love for me.

“I can’t deal with this,” I eventually said.

Kane didn’t move. “What are you saying?”

“I’m sayin’ that was the wrong moment to tell me you love me. You shouldn’t have said it.”

“I shouldn’t have said it? It’s what I’m feeling.”

I swallowed. “You harm people, Kane.”

“Bad people, Aideen. We’re talking about the scum of the earth here.”

I shook my head. “I don’t care. It doesn’t justify what you do.”

Kane turned and began to pace up and down the hallway.

“You own apartments, a real-estate agency. You have more money than you need. Why do you continue to... freelance?”

He had his back to me when he stopped moving. I saw the muscles in his back tense as I asked my question.

“I donate all the money I get from freelancing to different charities. I don’t do it for the money. It was never about money.”

I closed my eyes. “Then why do you do it?”

“Because I have to.”

“Why?”

He turned to face me, a sadistic smirk on his face.

“Don’t dare look at me like that. Don’t think being cold and mean is going to get you out of this conversation.”

“Cold and mean,” Kane repeated then humourlessly laughed. “That pretty much describes what people think of me. One look at me and they’re scared. Are you scared of me, babydoll?”

Only of the way you make me feel.

“A puppy has more chance of scarin’ me than you do, Slater,” I deadpanned.

A smile lit up Kane’s face, but only for a moment before his sullen look took over once more. “Everyone is scared of me. They think I’m a monster, and you know what? Maybe I am. I didn’t get this way by being an angel, that’s for damn sure.”

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Good,” Kane replied. “I don’t want you to understand me.”

“Well, I want to!” I shouted. “I want to know you.”

That admission shocked me as well as Kane.

He shook his head. “If you get answers to the questions on your mind you will leave me. You won’t let me get within five feet of you and our baby. I know you won’t.”

I swallowed. “Sweetheart, if you tell me what I need to know nothin’ will happen. I’m not goin’ to leave you.”

Kane blinked his eyes. “Everybody leaves me, Aideen. Everybody.”

What?

“Who has left you?” I asked, my hands trembling.

“You want the list?” Kane snorted. “My parents—they left me long before they died because they were shitty fucking people. My brothers mean everything to me, but they don’t have the time of day for me anymore since their girls came into the picture. Damien up and left and went back to the States four years ago and hasn’t been back since. When you aren’t with me, I’m on my own. Everybody leaves, even if they don’t mean to.”

I was surprised when hot tears filled my eyes. “You should let your brothers know how you feel. You know they would re-evaluate everything they do if they thought for a second you felt alone and pushed aside by them.”

Kane shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” I stated. “You’re not fine, and you need to talk to your family about this.”

“I am,” he murmured. “I’m talking to you.”

He considered me his family?

“Kane,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “Enough with the heavy emotional bullshit, let’s talk about something else.”

I glared at him. “No, the heavy emotional bullshit needs to be discussed.”

Kane blinked. “Please, babydoll. I don’t want to lose you too and a conversation about my heavy shit will make that happen.”

I stood my ground. “Talk about your heavy shit or I will leave you.”

I didn’t like saying that, but I had too.

Kane stared at me for a long moment. “You won’t be mine anymore once you know the things I have done. I know you won’t.”

I placed my hand in his. “Me and you?”

Kane swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Me and you.”

I waited patiently then for him to speak. He silently led me into the sitting room and sat us down on the settee. I turned to face him, but Kane kept his body straight and stared at the television in front to us.

“Do you know why my brothers and I were involved with Marco?”

I swallowed. “I know that he ran a business with your father and after your father had died he took over. That’s about it. The girls don’t like talkin’ about it so I’m short on information.”

“Okay, that’s true, but there is a lot more to it than that.” He sighed and prepared himself to say words he didn’t want to say. “Marco and my father ran a business that earned them the title of gangsters. Nothing they did was straight up—even the legal shit was corrupt. Everything from drugs, to weapons and prostitution, was fair game.”

Wow.

“I, along with my brothers, was raised in a compound back in New York. We were homeschooled so we never got out much. The compound was huge and there was always something to do so we weren’t bored... until we were old enough to be put to work.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

“The twins were still kids when Ryder, Alec, and myself started out. We did small-time shit like moving product, delivering it, breaking in new recruits. Bullshit like that. Marco always said my dad had big plans for us, but I don’t think he ever did. I think it was Marco who had plans for us, and when my dad double-crossed him, killing him and my mom gave him access to us. Granted the three of us were old enough to leave if we wanted to—and we did—but we couldn’t get out with the twins fast enough.”

“What do you mean?” I murmured.

Kane leaned his head back against the sofa cushion. “Damien had this girlfriend called Nala. She was a cute Asian kid and he adored her. That was little brother’s problem—he cared too much about people. He was messed up when our parents died. He understood we couldn’t cross Marco though. We were brought up around an empire that preached loyalty. It was instilled in us from a very young age. We were loyal to the core to one another, to our parents, and even to Marco, even though the three of them didn’t deserve it. What our father did was wrong; he betrayed someone he swore to be loyal to, and to us and that’s not right. You don’t turn your back on your own, but my parents did.”

I listened to Kane as he spoke, and the more I listened, the more scared I became.

“Even though Damien understood our father was a traitor, he wouldn’t let anyone talk smack about him. One of Marco’s nephews, Trent, did just that. He said our father deserved to be shot and buried, and it was no more than he deserved. That set Damien off; they fought, but Trent pulled a gun-”

I cut Kane off on a gasp, but he pressed on.

“Long story short, Damien somehow got the gun and shot Trent. We were told he died, and in order to protect Damien for betraying one of our own, we began to work for Marco. Different work for each of us. He thrust us into different environments—Dominic into fighting, Alec into being an escort, Ryder into dealing, and me... I became a monster.”

I shook my head.

“Slow down. You said you were told this Trent kid died?”

Kane growled, “Yeah, up until few years ago when the little prick resurfaced. We found out Marco betrayed us, so we bounced. We were paying a debt that wasn’t valid in the first place. Damien never killed Trent... not the first time anyway.”

I blinked. “I don’t want to know what that means.”

“Good,” Kane grunted.

I flicked my eyes over his body.

“Okay, so you got a job to hurt people... how did you get your scars?”

Kane swallowed and looked away from me. “Punishment.”

“Punishment?” I repeated.

Kane nodded his head, still looking away.

“When I didn’t do a job... correctly, I was punished. Severely.”

I didn’t like how that sounded, not one bit.