I didn't answer because I wasn't sure what he meant. Was it a power trip for me because I had the ability to mess up my sister's life or did he mean it was a power trip for her because she could lay this huge guilt trip on me?

I stood staring at my dresser but not seeing it, trying to work it out in my mind.

He spoke again, this time his voice sounded almost businesslike. "I'm sure Adrian's fine, Chelsea. I'll call Richard for you and see what I can find out, then I'll call you back."

I guess he didn't think I was coherent enough to talk to Rick right then, which was probably true.

I sat on the corner of my bed waiting for my phone to ring and thinking over what he'd said. Between Adrian and me, who had the power? Was there a balance? Where had it shifted to? Was it wrong for me to want it back again? After a few minutes the phone rang.

"I called Richard," Tanner told me. "He tried to talk to Adrian at school, but she wouldn't listen—just kept calling him a hypocrite and stormed off. He doesn't know where she is."

"Oh." The word left my throat hollow.

"Do you need help looking for her?"

I wasn't sure whether he was volunteering Rick's help or his own, and I didn't want Rick's help. "We haven't checked with her friends yet. But thanks for the offer."

"She'll be okay. She's probably just blowing off steam somewhere."

"Probably," I said.

"Look, I've got to go work right now, but I'll talk to you later, okay?"

I wanted to keep talking to him. In fact, I wanted to lean up against him like I had on our first date. But he wanted to hang up.

I tried to force some cheer into my voice. "Right. Thanks. Talk to you later."

We hung up and I walked out of my room to tell Mom that Adrian wasn't with Rick. Before I'd even shut my door, I heard Adrian come in. I could tell by the way Mom laid into her. "Where have you been? I've been calling you for the last half an hour."

Adrian answered defiantly. "I was thinking."

"Well, next time you can answer the phone while you think."

"I didn't feel like talking."

A pause and then Mom's voice softened. "Chelsea told me about school. She was just checking Rick's face. Nothing happened between them."

"She was just checking his face?" Adrian nearly spat out the words. "Is that her new excuse? I admit it's better than, 'It just happened,' but only slightly."

"You saw Rick. Chelsea said she hit him with her locker door."

"Yeah, I saw him, and yeah I believe that Chelsea hit him with her locker door." I could tell that she meant it, and I stood in the hallway shaking my head. If she believed me, then why was she so upset? I took a step toward the living room to ask her.

"But what was he doing at her locker in the first place, and since when did she start holding his hand, even in sympathy?"

"You don't really think that Chelsea is going after Rick, do you?"

I stopped, still hidden by the hallway, waiting to hear Adrian's answer. It might change if she saw me. Her answer wouldn't be the truth then, just whatever she thought would bother me the most.

"Do you know what first attracted me to Rick?" Adrian asked, bitterness lacing her voice. "He was the one guy I knew who would never choose Chelsea over me. Everyone else likes her best. Chelsea walks into a room and—poof—I become invisible. Do you know what it's like to live your life always second-best?"

"You're not second-best," Mom said. "If boys can't see that—"

"It isn't just the boys. She's pretty, she's popular, and she gets whatever she wants every time. When people find out I'm Chelsea's sister, I always get the same reaction: a look of surprise on people's faces, the look that says, 'How can you be Chelsea's sister? You're not blonde and gorgeous. What a disappointment. We wanted another Chelsea.' "

"Adrian, you're fine the way you are—"

"I don't want to be fine. I want to be noticed, and loved, and better than Chelsea at something."

I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to. My insides felt like they'd been shredded. It's not my fault, I wanted to say. Why can't you see that none of this is my fault? How can you hate me for being pretty and popular? What did she want from me? Misery? And at the same time I understood everything she said, and I hurt for her.

The living room was quiet for a moment and I knew my mother had wrapped her arms around Adrian. "Honey, you are loved. Very loved."

"Chelsea could have any guy she wanted but she went after Rick. She had to prove she could take anything she wants away from me."

Mom's voice was still soothing. "You don't really think there's anything going on between Rick and Chelsea, do you?"

"Who did she go out with last night?"

Mom paused. "I don't remember his name, offhand."

This was because I'd been purposely vague about the matter. I hadn't wanted her to realize I was dating a college guy.

"Exactly," Adrian said as though offering evidence in a court. "Chelsea never told us his name, but she came home in Rick's brother's car."

"Are you sure?" Mom asked.

"I'm sure. I guess they thought I wouldn't figure it out if Rick didn't drive his jeep."

I went back into my room then. I knew Mom would momentarily be storming in to question me and I didn't want to let her know I'd eavesdropped on the whole conversation.

I sat on my bed, picked up a novel, and stared down at the pages. I couldn't have read it if I wanted to. My hands shook too badly.

It would be so easy to tell both of them the truth. I just had to explain that I'd gone out with Tanner and I would be cleared of all charges. Mom would rejoice that I hadn't stabbed my sister in the back again. Adrian would forgive me for holding Rick's hand. Everything would be fine.

For the first thirty seconds I sat there, I planned on doing just that.

But then I thought one step further. After Adrian learned the truth, she would also forgive Rick. She'd probably even apologize to him for calling him a hypocrite at school. And then they would get back together. I could see it happening as clearly as I could see the book in front of me.

I had—in effect—sent Adrian to Rick when I'd betrayed her the first time. She said the only reason she'd chosen him was that he was the type of guy who didn't like me. So when she'd come to high school, she had just looked through the assortment of boy burn-outs in order to find someone to mend her ego.

Rick had worked, but he wasn't good for her. He didn't really love her. Rick was like my father, the kind of person who only cared about himself. If she stayed with him who knew where she'd end up.

But I could save her. And I could redeem myself from my mistake with Travis. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut and let her stay mad at Rick. Indefinitely if possible. So what if she was mad at me too? That had been the constant in our relationship for over a year.

Mom opened the door without knocking. "I need to talk to you."

I put down my book and waited. All I had to do was to hide Tanner without it looking like I was hiding Tanner.

"Adrian said you went out with Rick yesterday. Did you?"

My sister was probably somewhere nearby, listening. I waited a second to make my answer less convincing. "No."

"He didn't bring you home in his brother's car?"

"No." All the truth.

"Then why does Adrian think he did?"

I shrugged. "Because she wants to get me in trouble?"