She shook her head at me.  “But I’ve seen them before.  A few of them attacked us.  And then there’s Elder Joshua.”

An Elder.  I looked up at the ceiling and tried to think.  We needed to expose the traitors and remove them before we could even consider making a move toward Peace.

“He was the one I contacted.”

Luke’s voice surprised me.  I’d forgotten he was there.

“Someone betrayed us on the way here,” I told them.  “That’s why there were so many attacks.”  But why not bigger groups of them?  If the werewolves already had three, why would they risk me, the fourth, joining them?  “There’s a lot more to discuss, but I’m about to pass out,” I admitted when the dreams nudged me again.  My time was almost up.

“Gabby, keep an eye on the Urbat.  If they start grouping and heading this way, we need to give everyone a warning.”  I sighed and tried not to remember what the Urbat had done in the past.  “The children should be evacuated, now.”

A sharp knock sounded at the door.  A moment later it pushed open.

“Time’s up,” Clay said.

Gabby grinned at him and waved him in.  Emmitt followed closely behind, elbowing Luke on his way past.  The dream’s tug grew more insistent.

“Please keep quiet about all of this,” I said, standing.  Then, to impress on them the seriousness of our situation, I repeated what I’d told Luke.  “You have no idea what’s coming our way, but I do.  I’ve been raped, beaten, cut,” I lifted my shirt to show them all the stitched gash, “starved, drowned, blinded, burned...you name it, I’ve lived it.  We’ve lived it.  You just don’t remember.  Don’t trust anyone with your safety.  When we do, we die.  And I’ll be the one who has to remember.”

Turning, I left the silent room.  Nana Wini stood just outside the door.  Her expression told me she heard what I’d said.

Luke stole my opportunity to say anything to her by scooping me up into his arms.  I shot him a disgruntled look still upset with his use of a pet name on another girl.  But his angry, clenched jaw kept my mouth shut.  I’d been too recently abused to have reminded him of all the other abuses I’d suffered.  I rested my head against his shoulder and let him carry me.

“It was just a name,” he said after a moment.

I didn’t answer, keeping my head on his shoulder.  But I felt better knowing he understood his mistake.

He gently set me on my feet just inside the tiny apartment’s door, and cupped my face in his hands.  “There’s no room for anyone else in my heart,” he said softly.  “Only you.”

“Then why?” I pleaded.  If I was in his heart, then why did I have to wait to Claim him?

“Because I promised I would protect you,” he said.  His eyes burned with fierce resolve.  “Even from myself.”

The dream tugged, and my next blink turned into a three-second nap.  A fingertip traced my eyebrow.

“You need rest,” he said, wrapping an arm around me and guiding me down the hall.

I did.  I promised myself I would argue some more about the logic behind letting me Claim him now.  But after a nap.

Fully dressed, I crawled up on the mattress, eased onto my side, and curled up protectively around my aching stomach.  Stupid idea to cut myself.  Didn’t work and now the pain lingered.  Always pain.  With that thought, the dream pulled me as Luke’s weight depressed the mattress next to me.

Chapter Fourteen

I sat up, shaking from the details of the dream.  More death!  Sweat coated my face, not from a fever, but the memory.  Why had I dreamed that?  I turned and noted the empty cold spot next to me.  He’d left me, that’s why.  After his sweet comment about holding me in his heart, he’d left me.  He knew what I suffered. I weakly swiped at my face, removing the moisture and wishing I could remove the memory.  Exhaling slowing, I reflected on what I’d learned.  My sister Courage always died young.

Light still shone through the room’s window.  I glanced at the numbers on the digital clock.  Less than an hour had passed.  Two pills and a glass of water waited on the small lamp stand next to the bed.  Without hesitation, I swallowed them down.  I could have cared less what they were at that point.  I’d have taken anything from painkillers to cyanide.  I definitely hadn’t gotten the rest I needed.

My stomach ached from sitting up so quickly. I gingerly rolled off the bed and rose to a crouched stand.  I hobbled out of the bedroom to look for Luke.  I found Michelle waiting on the couch in the living room, but no Luke.  She stood when she saw me. Her concern for me was evident on her face.

“Luke asked me to wait here so you wouldn’t be alone.  I know you said the dreams were bad, but...”

I looked away from her uncomfortably and wondered how much I’d yelled.

“Luke said he left you some pills.”

“Yeah, I already took them.  What were they?”

“Something for the pain.”

Darn.

“Nana and Sam want to talk to you when you’re up.”

“I’m not up yet,” I said as I shuffled toward the bathroom.

Michelle followed me to the door.  “They want to know what’s going on.  Gabby and I haven’t said anything.  But after you left, Sam tried talking to Gabby and they ended up yelling at each other.  Clay looked all bristly like he wanted to hit Sam.”

I rolled my eyes, finished up, and opened the door.  “And I care why?”

“Sam’s an Elder.  Gabby’s—” The door opened with a bang stopping Michelle’s words.

“Gabby’s getting annoyed,” Gabby said, striding into the room and closing the door behind her.  “They let you go because you’re hurt, but as soon as you were gone, we were bombarded with questions.  They even sent for Luke to grill him.”

I couldn’t help the panicked look that crept into my eyes.  It was too soon to reveal everything.  It explained his absence, though.

“We didn’t say anything,” Gabby assured me again.  “Look, I wasn’t sure who to trust before you got here, but after talking to you, I don’t think we can do this alone.  I think we need to talk to the Elders.  At least some of them.”

Michelle nodded her head in agreement.

We were all thinking of Elder Joshua.  “I’m sorry I left you.  I can’t control when the dreams come and go anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Michelle said.  “Luke explained that to us.”

“Us?”

“Me, Gabby, Clay, and Emmitt.  They didn’t trust Luke alone with us,” Michelle said with an apologetic shrug.

“What did he do to deserve all of this hostility?”

“He stole Emmitt’s bike.”

“And he and some of his friends ganged up on Clay before I Claimed him,” Gabby added.  “Luke’s your mate, right?”

“He is a possibility,” I agreed.

Her frown grew more pronounced.  Her eyes flicked around the room.  “I’d really like to talk to you alone, again.  I have so many questions.”

The door opened.  “As do I,” Nana said softly.  “But I think it would be best if you sat while we discussed this.  I don’t like how pale you are.”  She motioned me toward the couch.

“This would be better in the soundproofed room,” Gabby said quickly.

“Of course,” Nana agreed.

As we walked to the room—at a very slow pace because of me—I contemplated where I wanted to start and what exactly to explain.  I couldn’t completely trust the Elders with everything I knew.  Not yet.  I didn’t have the right answers to explain our purpose fully.  Sure, we were here to maintain balance between the three groups, but how?  I wasn’t sure I was ready to share the who.  At least, not until we weeded out the Urbat hiding in the pack.  I believed wholly that the Taupe Lady’s warning was serious.  The world would burn if we failed.  Though I trusted that knowledge, I doubted that anyone else would.