“I will do anything for you,” he continued.  “Even wait.”  He turned his head and kissed my cheek—my flip’n cheek.

I started shaking.  “Get out.  Before I hurt myself trying to hit you.”

He sighed and backed away.  “Bethi—”

“No.  No more.  Go.”  I turned my head away unable to look at him.

Stupid idiot.

He left the room.  I slumped back into my seat, picked up the plate of dessert he’d taken from me, and gorged myself.  Pie, good.  Luke, bad.

After the last bite, I settled back with a groan.  It felt horrible, in a good way, to be so full again; and it put me in a thoughtful mood.

Once Joshua was here, and we eliminated the threat of further information leaking to the Urbat, we could plan our next steps.  Until then, I knew Gabby was watching for a sneak attack.  I wished I could talk to her about it but couldn’t risk raising the suspicion of the Elders by sneaking into the padded room for a private conversation.  That meant being patient and waiting.  Just like Luke asked me to.

Screw waiting and screw Luke.  I went to my room and strapped on the sheath and knife.  I hated waiting, and I hated feeling so defenseless physically and mentally.  I knew Claiming wasn’t necessarily permanent.  I wanted Luke despite his pigheaded hesitation.  But maybe I could find someone willing to let me Claim him, until Luke was ready.  I could care less who I bit.  I just wanted the dreaming to stop.  At least, the death dreams.  And, those would once I Claimed someone.  They had in the past.  The other dreams were fine, and I could still learn from them.

I left the room and made my way to the commons.  On the way there, I heard a lot of laughing and noise coming from another apartment.  The door stood open.  Inside, Michelle watched as two young boys wrestled with teens just a bit older than me.

“Paul, cheated,” one cried.

“Did not,” the other little boy shouted back.

“Liam.  Aden.  If you two are going to fight about this, then play time with Paul and Henry is done,” Michelle said.

There was a bunch of whining as the teens stood.  I stepped back and waited for them to leave.  They noticed me after they closed the door.  I smiled.  Either would do nicely.

*    *    *    *

Paul sat across from me looking nervous, his gaze darting around the room.  Henry had fled as soon as I explained the favor I needed.

“He’ll kill me just to have you back.”

“It won’t come to that,” I promised.

“Yes, it will.  You don’t know our ways.  He’ll challenge me to the death.  I really want to help you, but I won’t have a chance.”

“Please,” I begged.  As a Judgement I knew I held a certain level of attraction for all of them.  Why was this so hard then?  Technically, I’d been rejected three times now, counting Luke as a single rejection.  Maybe I needed to stand up on one of the tables and start shouting it out.  Take me...I’m yours.

A dream started tugging at me.

“If there wasn’t anyone else interested in you, I would agree,” he promised me.  “But if he doesn’t kill me, my mom will.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I waved away his concern.  “If he were really interested, why am I still unClaimed?”

Paul looked unsure.  “I’m really sorry, Bethi.”  His words held a note of finality.

“Whatever,” I mumbled and stood.  When I turned, I caught Luke watching me from a few seats over.  My eyes narrowed.  He ignored me and looked at Paul, giving him a quick wink.

The dream hit me upside the head with a frying pan, and I staggered as I took a step toward the kitchen.  The dizzy wave passed over me quickly, barely interrupting my slow progress.  Still, Luke stood and moved to my side.

“Are you all right?” he asked with concern.

“Peachy,” I answered, tugging my arm from his grasp.  Whatever dream waited, it waited impatiently.  I could only imagine what horrors it wanted to share with me.  I met Luke’s gaze.  He had the power to change the message it bore just with his presence.  Why did he continue to hurt me by keeping himself from me?

“I just need something to drink.”

He gave me a gentle smile that twisted my stomach with wishful thinking.  “I’ll get it for you.”

He moved off to the kitchen.  I moved off toward the doors.

*    *    *    *

I meant to go outside to find someone else to beg to be my valentine.  Instead, I collapsed in the hall with a dream tripping my feet.

A thin, bare shell of darkness covered my eyes.  I could easily see shapes through it.  Swirls of grey floated in and out of my frame of vision.  Voices whispered.  Some sounded like grating, unintelligible noise.  Others spoke in clear tones.

Regardless of the sounds of the voices, the message was clear.  “Free us.”

Unable to move, blinking but seeing nothing more than shadow, I lay trapped in a hellish unfeeling world.

Then she came.  She stood out in vibrant clarity, her taupe grown robbing the surrounding shades of grey of their unique beauty.  Her pale face held a kindness I’d never before witnessed.

“Child,” she whispered.  “You can see me as the others cannot.  Stand strong though you lack Strength.  Be calm though you lack Peace.  Wait for Wisdom.  She will find you.”

Pain burst in the back of my head.  “Move!” someone yelled.  I forced my small legs to move, taking steps into the unknown with hands outstretched, hoping I wouldn’t fall.  Hoping that if I did, someone would catch me.

The dream shifted, pulling me deeper.

I ran through the tall grass, the fronds whipping my face, making tiny cuts as I passed.  The dry rustle of the grass behind me marked my pursuers.

I struggled to pull myself from the dream.  Why was I always running?  Once again, I’d merged with my past self.

“Come on, little one.  Tell us what you saw,” a voice laughed.

A claw raked my back parting flesh.  I screamed in pain and terror.

“Bethi, wake up!”

I woke swinging.  The flat of my palm connected with Luke’s face.  He looked surprised and quickly captured my hand in his gentle fingers.

Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as the residual pain lingered on my back.  “Get away from me.”

“Bethi, I’m sorry—”

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry...  Try being something else for a change.  Like on time,” I snapped picking myself up off the floor.

Hurt reflected in his eyes as he picked up a glass from the floor and handed it to me.  “Here’s the drink you asked for.”

I took the glass and watched him walk away.  He was always doing that.  Walking away.  But then again, so was I.  We were hopeless.

Chapter Fifteen

I sipped the water and slowly walked the halls.  After the pain had faded from my back, I regretted my words.  I roamed, slightly lost, and hoped to find Luke, but I didn’t see him anywhere.

We were at a stalemate.  He wanted to wait, and I desperately needed to Claim him now.  Neither of us wanted to bend.  Well, I’d been willing to bend by selecting someone else, temporarily. But he didn’t like that idea either.  I needed a way to convince him to help me before it was too late.  He didn’t seem to understand the risks.  The attack on the way here showed the desperation of the Urbat.  What would they do next?  I needed to Claim Luke to calm the dreams so I could focus on their real message.  It would also make it easier for him to find me if they took me.  If I were completely honest with myself, I just wanted to Claim him because he was mine.  Done.  Forget the Urbat. Forget the whole the-world-will-burn crap.  I just wanted Luke.  I sighed.  But I couldn’t just forget everything.  Elder Joshua concerned me. Having the pack of Urbat pull back concerned me.  Why hadn’t they attacked?  There had to be something more, something big going on that I hadn’t yet figured out.  And I needed to, fast.