Covering myself with my arms, I ducked under the spray ready to wash away all my ugliness.  It didn’t work.

When I stepped out of the shower, I was the same scarred, thin me.  I looked around for my bag and started to panic.  I hadn’t brought it in with me.  Was this a self-fulfilling prophecy?  I sat on the toilet on the verge of tears with a dream tapping its sharp fingers on my skull.

Why did life have to be so hard?

A knock on the door startled me.

“You all right?” Luke asked from the other side.

I quickly stood and rubbed my yet unshed tears away.  “Yeah.  I just forgot the bag.”

“I’ll get it,” His voice sounded fainter, and I knew he had already walked away from the door.

Making a quick I-don’t-want-to-do-this face, I turned the knob and opened it a few inches to look out.  He had his back to me, picking up the bag from one of the beds.  When he turned and saw me, he stopped.  Shame burned me as I gave him an uncertain smile, closed the door a bit further, and held out a hand, palm up.  Only after I did it, did I realize I’d exposed my wrist.  My eyes flew to his again.  He hadn’t moved.

I curled up, died, and was reborn in the fires of my anguish.  Yanking the door open, I marched right up to him and pried the bag from his dead fingers.

“Just so you know, I had a boyfriend.  Before the dreams started, and I went crazy,” I said defensively.  “It was pretty serious.”

Finally, emotion broke through his shocked expression.

“But I cut ties when I realized what was coming my way.  You know I’m old enough in the human world...and I know that by werewolf standards I’m old enough.  When you’re ready, you let me know,” I said boldly, turning away from him.

He stopped me, curling his fingers loosely around my upper arms.  The same arms that had a death hold on the towel and my remaining dignity.

“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice laced with a hint of growl.

I dropped the bag and stepped toward him.  “You didn’t think a girl willing to cut herself, take drugs, run away from home, and hitch rides from strangers would save herself, did you?”

“Joshua?” he growled.

Giving a small laugh, I touched his jaw, tracing the ridge of it with a fingertip.  “No way.  He smelled like mud.”  Then his reaction hit me like a lightning bolt.  His tense jaw, his overly focused concentration on my face...nowhere else but my face.  He wanted to see more.  My heart started beating faster, and the angry shame shrank back.  Hopeful, I stood on my tiptoes.

“You smell like home,” I whispered brushing my lips against his.

He stood still, keeping his arms at his sides as I reached up and threaded my fingers in his hair.  My lips traced his.  Tiny tremors shook him.  Then, he broke.  His arms came alive and gently circled around me.  He tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine.  Tingles chased up and down my back.  His mouth opened slightly as he planted little kisses in a trail down my neck.  He nipped the tender skin there before continuing down to my collarbone.

“Tell me this is a yes,” I whispered, struggling to keep my focus.

He groaned, but didn’t stop.  His mouth wandered back up my throat so I had to tilt my head back.  He kissed his way to my lips, but before he claimed them, he pulled back to meet my eyes.

“This is a yes.”  He tilted his head exposing his throat.

I reached up to hold his shoulders and pull him down a bit.  The towel fell to the floor.  His breathing came in quick pants, matching mine.  I kissed him gently, rubbing my lips on the corded muscles of his neck.  Then, I bit.

He groaned and held me to him.  A surge of love flooded me along with a consuming need to possess.  They weren’t my feelings.  Not all of them, anyway.  I moved on kissing my way up his neck to his jaw.  When he pulled back, a bloody smudge remained where I’d bit him, nothing else.

His lips claimed mine in a bruising kiss, and he turned us, backing me toward the bed.  My heart started beating so fast I thought it would burst from my chest.

When we reached the bed, he stopped and pulled his shirt off.  I knew then that we wouldn’t stop at just Claiming.  Anticipation flooded me.  This time it was all my emotion.  I smiled shyly at him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

*    *    *    *

Snuggled against his side, I traced my fingers through the hair on his chest, content and peaceful.  No dreams tugged at me.  I hadn’t looked at him yet.  I wasn’t sure if he would regret what we’d done.

“You lied,” he said quietly, turning to kiss the top of my head.

“The last lie I’ll be able to get away with now.  Well, with you anyway.”  I didn’t need to ask if he was mad at me.  I knew he wasn’t.  I could feel his contentment blending with mine.

“Was there even a boyfriend?” he asked softly.

“Not a serious one,” I admitted.  “Still wish we would have waited for the magic eighteen?”  I had to know.

He turned on his side to face me, his expression tender.  “Yes,” he said simply.  “You are worth waiting for.”  His love flooded me, but I felt no regret.  I leaned forward to kiss him.

“You’re worth waiting for, too,” I said softly.  “But I didn’t want to risk dying without feeling this.”  The connection between us grew, bursting with love and life.  It wasn’t just the impressions I had felt with Joshua.  It was so much more.  There was no room for self-doubt.  With Luke, I could endure anything.  Be anything.  Even a Judgement.

My stomach rumbled, and a thread of concern flowed through our link.

“Let’s get dressed and eat,” he said.  The concern kept growing.

“What’s wrong?”  The depth of what he felt washed through me.

“You never eat right.” He rose from the bed.

I forgot to breathe.  I’d seen him in the all-n-all before, but now he was mine.  I just wanted to jump on his back and pull him back under the covers with me.  I wanted his touch.  Needed it.  I blinked as I struggled with my feelings and realized with a smile, they weren’t just mine, because concern still flavored them.

“If you don’t stop, we’ll never feed you,” he said with a smile as he strode to the bathroom.

*    *    *    *

We met everyone downstairs for dinner.  Nana glanced away from her conversation with Charlene to look at us, then did a double take.  Her sudden wide smile told me she knew.

“About time he pulled his head from his...” Grey started to mutter, but a nudge from Carlos cut him off.

Four new members had joined our group.  Michelle’s brothers clung to two faces I recognized.  Paul and Henry.  They spoke to Gabby with a long time familiarity as they entertained the boys.  Michelle and Emmitt spoke off to the side with Gregory and Mary.  Michelle’s eyes were red from barely restrained tears.

When Paul looked up and saw me hand in hand with Luke, he smiled and nudged his brother.  Heat rushed to my face.

Dinner moved slowly, just the way we needed it to.  Michelle agreed to let the boys go on a long holiday with Gregory and Mary.  Or as the boys thought of it, with Paul and Henry.  We spent the time talking about nothing important, though I caught Gabby’s unfocused gaze as she constantly monitored the Urbat progress.

After dinner, we all agreed to meet in the lobby early the following morning.  The next day’s travel would bring us to Peace.

I went to bed eagerly and looked forward to another good night’s sleep.  But I didn’t get what I wanted.

“Daughter,” she said, standing beside the bed dressed in her usual taupe gown.  “You are so blessed to have finally Claimed a Mate worthy of you.”

I stood at the end of the bed, looking at Luke on his side, curled around me, his arm resting over my waist.  I looked so small compared to him.

I glanced at the Taupe Lady.  “I thought I only dreamt of the past.”