“You okay?” Eli asked Riley, which was enough to pull himself out of his train of thought.

Angry at himself, he levered himself upright and forced a smile on his face. “Some of us have work to do,” he tried to tease. Then he left and he knew he’d lost another inch of control again.

Slowly but surely, Riley was convinced he was losing his mind. He was in free fall, and no one was there to catch him.

Chapter 16

Vaughn pulled the door to the barn shut, and for a few seconds, he stretched his hands tall and attempted to relax each muscle in turn. He’d done good work today, and his body hurt in all the right places.

“See you tomorrow,” Liam called. He was at the base of the stairs up to his place, and not for the first time, Vaughn was jealous. Jack had given Vaughn access to a fairly new trailer, but it was still a temporary solution. The block for the hands wasn’t going to be ready, or even started, until the fall. So for now he walked across the yard behind the main house, past the old barn with the odd-looking brand-new door, and out toward Robbie and Eli’s place. A left and he was at his kinda-not-really-permanent front door. At least it was plumbed in enough for water, and he did have permission to go to the main house if he wanted to use the shower there instead of the cramped one in the trailer.

But it didn’t seem right somehow to get involved in the family in the house. But other than that, he was at peace with himself. Yes, he’d had to leave Darren behind, but he’d landed on his feet working with a boss that cared, doing what he loved, and with exhaustion keeping him asleep all night. No chance of missing Darren or thinking about what they might have had if not for Hank and what he’d done. Who the hell was he trying to convince? He missed Darren like he’d miss a limb. He wondered if Darren missed him.

They hadn’t talked since the trial, nothing, not even one of his ex-lover’s stupid joke texts he’d always sent before. Vaughn was worried with a measure of pissed. Would it kill the man to send a one word ‘hey’ every now and again? Not that Vaughn did that either. It was time that Vaughn realized it was over.

Stripping to his underwear, he turned on the shower and waited for the pressure and heat to equalize before pulling off his briefs and climbing under the slow flow of water. For the longest time, he stood under the soft summer rain effect and allowed the grime of the day to begin to soak away. He thought about Darren and the last time they were together, the gentle smiles and the soft words, promises that Darren would find a way to fix it all. Before he decided he didn’t want to fix anything that would mean he and Vaughn could stay together.

“How?” Vaughn said to no one. How are you going to fix it? Darren had a ranch to run, and with Hank in jail, he had his work cut out for him. He was an accountant, not a cowboy. I should go home and help, Vaughn thought, not for the first time, or even the second. Then he dismissed it. He couldn’t go back down there, not after everything that happened with Hank and those poor kids, and coming here was a good career move.

Still, Jack hadn’t given him anywhere permanent to stay. He probably thinks I’ll up and leave any minute now. And could Vaughn blame the man? He’d left Darren and his life in Laredo, who was to say he wouldn’t move on from the D tomorrow?

Because I’m not going anywhere. I want Darren to come to me, I want him out of that place he hates, and I want him to have a fresh start. I want us to start again somewhere else, maybe here, maybe our own place, but that is what I want.

As he considered what to do next, he realized it was very simple. Today was Wednesday; come Saturday he would get himself down to Laredo and get Darren in the car and convince him to start again. Decision made, he realized it was easier to live with that decision than to admit it was all over. That had to be a good sign. Right?

The water began to cool, so he quickly soaped up. By the time he stepped out, the water was cold and he had goose bumps. He wrapped a towel around his waist and made coffee, and then with his feet up on a stool, he leaned back on the small sofa area and watched crappy TV. He couldn’t even be bothered to make dinner. He checked his watch. He had a standing invite at the house, all he needed to do was let them know, but it was six already and they’d probably eaten.

Halfheartedly he flicked channels and realized that every single one of them was showing cooking programs. The fuckers. Finally he couldn’t put eating off any longer, and he pulled on comfortable sweats and took the three steps to the kitchen. Rummaging in the small cupboard, he located what he knew Darren would have made into some kind of pasta dish. It wasn’t as if Vaughn was useless in the kitchen, he just couldn’t be bothered when it was just him. He pulled out the pasta and the can of tomatoes with basil already included, then the package of ham he had. Seemed like it was going to be a ham and tomato pasta kind of night.

There and then, he resolved to make sure he was eating in the main house tomorrow.

The knock on his door was loud and scared the living shit out of him. He yanked open the door, irritated, only to nearly swallow his tongue to see who was at the door. Darren.

His lover pushed into the trailer and shut the door behind him. With no words spoken, Darren guided Vaughn away from the door toward the unmade bed, shoving him back so he fell onto the mattress with Darren following him straight down to cover his body.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Darren said sharply.

“You’re here,” Vaughn replied. He couldn’t help the shock in his voice. Darren was here, in his bed, and they kissed for the longest time, undressing each other with determination, and there was nothing else to say.

They rocked against each other until, finally, just when Vaughn tipped over the edge, he couldn’t stop what he wanted to say. Near sobbing with relief, he came, saying, “I love you, Darren… love you.”

Darren stiffened and came hot against Vaughn’s belly. He said, “I love you, Vaughn. I’m sorry,” before lying flat against him, exhausted and heavy. Vaughn wriggled a little, and Darren half slipped to one side before cleaning them off with wipes from beside the bed.

“I missed you,” he said tiredly before lying on his back next to Vaughn. Both men looked up at the ceiling.

“Why are you here?” Vaughn asked. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know the answer, but Darren hesitated and appeared to give the question his full consideration.

He rolled up on his side and placed his hand over Vaughn’s heart. “I followed you. I’m not going back.”

Vaughn frowned and turned his head so he could look into Darren’s beautiful gray eyes. “But what about the Bar Five?”

“It’s done. The Jerrods were interested. Like you said, Hank’s run it down so much, sold off a load of stock for his defense.”

“I know he did.”

“Turns out there wasn’t much left, so I sold it, cleared all the debt. The Jerrods put in a caretaker and hands, and I packed and left.”

“What do you mean packed?”

“It’s all in the car. As much as I could fit.”

Vaughn was confused. Darren’s whole life was in Laredo, his clothes, his belongings, the things in the house, hell, the house as well. “What do you mean?”

“I left it all. Money goes in the bank in twenty-eight days. I’m splitting with Hank, who didn’t even hesitate to sign the papers to clear some of the debts for the case. Fucker even wanted my half, but I have plans for it. It’s done.”

“How much is left?” They knew each other well enough for Vaughn to ask that kind of question.

“Couple hundred thousand. Enough for me to make things right with the kids Hank hurt.”

“But… Darren…”

“You want to be with me? Don’t you?” Abruptly Darren’s confident mask slipped, and insecurity colored his tone.