* * * * *

Liam ended the call and sat down on the bed. He’d not long gotten off the phone to the shrink organizing a block of appointments when it rang with the cops calling him.

He heard the familiar sound of Marcus’s car and crossed to the window to watch his boyfriend, lover, whatever, arrive. Marcus looked sharp in another one of his suits, and he was talking to Robbie for way too long. Liam had things to tell him and he wanted to tell him now.

Yuri’s attack had left him shaky with way too many memories breaking out of the boxes he had pushed them into. The last time he’d talked to a shrink she talked about self-respect and being able to love himself. She told him he deserved nothing but a place in this world where he felt safe and respected. Jack told him he was a good worker, and from the part about a career it seemed like Liam had earned a life here on the D.

What would the new shrink say? Another woman, Dr. Harding was recommended for dealing with all kinds of fucked-up shit. Sometimes Liam could see Yuri was just another part of what had happened in Laredo, other times he separated the incidents and he was overwhelmed. He touched a hand to his throat at the thin ridge of scabbing skin that for some reason wasn’t healing quickly. This new woman would listen to all the crap he had to say and just getting it all out was going to be good. He knew that, but he was damned scared.

He crossed to the door to open it for Marcus and drank in the sight of the man he loved. He knew it to the core of him. Marcus was everything he needed, and he wanted to be whole for him.

“You okay?” Marcus asked with a grin as Liam dragged him in and shut the door.

“No talking,” Liam ordered. “Just kissing.”

Marcus didn’t argue, and the kissing got them both hot to the point that they were lying on the bed with Liam cradling Marcus in his arms. Hard against each other, they rocked in a stead rhythm and kissed until they had to break to breathe. Absolute need shot through Liam and he wished he knew how to tell Marcus what he wanted. That Marcus had to be the one to take things a step further. He wasn’t a victim, he wasn’t wounded in his heart, and he needed Marcus.

They came together just from frotting and kissing and lay quietly in each other’s arms.

“You okay?” Marcus asked again. He sounded way more serious this time.

Liam paused before answering, but then he knew exactly what he should say. “I will be.”

Chapter 20

~December~

Robbie’s eyes widened when he looked into the small larder area.

“Exactly how much beer did you buy?” Robbie asked with so much incredulity in his voice that Eli winced.

“Enough,” he answered cautiously. “And Jack had some leftover from Thanksgiving that he brought over this afternoon.”

“Eli. I’m counting at least sixty bottles. How many people did you invite?”

“Not as many as I could have invited.” Eli came up behind Robbie and cuddled him with his hands crossed over Robbie’s hard, toned stomach. They’d just had a frantic rutting-frotting-losing-it session in the bedroom with only thirty minutes until the first guests were due to arrive, and Eli still felt like he was riding the buzz of orgasm. Unlike Robbie, who appeared to more concerned with beer supplies in the big walk-in larder.

“I like our house, Eli,” Robbie turned to pull Eli into a hug. “I just don’t think it’s big enough to hold more than twenty people at one time. How many of your friends did you ask over?”

Eli felt a twinge of guilt. Robbie didn’t have a lot of friends around here, but Eli had lived in and around Dallas for a long while.

“Allofthem,” Eli mumbled against Robbie’s chest. Somehow he hoped the mumble sounded like something other than what it was.

Robbie huffed a laugh. “All of them? Your models, as well, and their partners?” He squeezed Eli and released him, and Eli was kind of pleased his lover was grinning. “I hope they brought jackets, it’s cold out.”

“I’m just so proud of this place and you, and I wanted to show it all off.” Eli tugged at the collar of Robbie’s sapphire-colored shirt that made his dark blue eyes seem bluer, deeper, more thoughtful. “I love you.”

Robbie cradled Eli’s face and kissed him firmly. Eli couldn’t help himself; he melted into Robbie’s kiss with a satisfied smile.

“Hi, guys, can I come in?” Liam’s voice came from the front door.

Eli and Robbie separated. “Come in,” Eli called.

Liam came into the kitchen carrying a box. “Where do you want this Coke?”

Eli couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that echoed in the room, and while Liam looked bemused, Eli was happy that at least Robbie was laughing as well.

“At least it’s not more freaking beer,” he laughed.

Finally it was Robbie who took the box from Liam and added the contents of it to the pile of beer, the familiar red cans looking out of place.

Eli took the moment to look at Liam. It had been four weeks since the attack on him in the barn, and while he never talked about it to Robbie, he was attending sessions with a therapist, and Robbie said the exhaustion he sometimes saw in Liam’s eyes was slowly disappearing. He’d noticed Marcus still visited and for the longest time the two of them would walk the D or sit in Marcus’s car or disappear up to Liam’s apartment. They always looked so serious, and Eli couldn’t get a handle on how their relationship was going.

 The last time he’d seen them together not at a distance was at Thanksgiving, and they’d arrived from time at Liam’s place looking flushed and Liam had obviously been well-kissed. Eli liked Marcus a lot, and he hoped to hell the man was being good to Liam. Both men had been kind of quiet at the table, and Robbie had admitted to Eli he was concerned.

“Is Marcus coming tonight?” Eli queried.

“I asked him like you said, and he told me he was. He’ll be here later.” Liam worried at his lip with a tooth. “Can I ask you guys a question?”

Robbie joined them in the main kitchen and carried three drinks. He cracked the seals and passed them out offering his up as a toast. Eli clinked his beer, and Liam followed suit with a can of Coke.

“Shoot,” Eli said. He leaned on the counter and sipped his beer and watched the play of emotions on Liam’s face.

“It’s kind of embarrassing, serious, I don’t know what it is. But at Thanksgiving, we nearly—” He coughed. “—went the whole way.” He groaned and shook his head. “I sound like a freaking teenage girl. Look. I just wanted some advice.”

“We’re listening,” Robbie said. He was using the tone of voice that Eli heard when he was with the horses. Settling. Gentle.

“I think Marcus and me… I don’t think… Fuck. Look. We don’t do actual…because I can’t…or I want to…but all we do is talk…and he’s all kind and understanding. He says he’s falling in love with me.” Liam’s voice hitched and Eli took a step closer. Seemed to him Liam was close to crying. Then visibly Liam pulled himself together. “I’m twenty-one next week. You think he’s waiting for that? Like it’s a special day or something? Or do you think he doesn’t want to go any further because of what happened? How do I tell him I’m ready for the next step, and that I love him, and that I want to…y’know. Because, guys, I’m new to all of this.”

Eli’s heart twisted in his chest at the open honest emotion in Liam’s voice. “Is he staying over tonight?”

“Yeah.”

Eli glanced at Robbie who simply nodded, and Eli knew they were on the same wavelength. “Don’t tell him anything, Liam. If you’re anything like us, talking doesn’t always work. You need to show him how you feel and what you want.”

A knock on the door interrupted the small group, but Liam nodded and looked thoughtful as he mulled over the advice.