“Liam…”

“Marcus. I’m ready for this, and I love you so much that it hurts inside.” He pressed his other hand over his heart. “I want everything with you for as long as I can, and I want not to be scared.” He attempted to be coherent but Marcus wasn’t immediately jumping on him and screwing him into the mattress. Concern and hope battled inside him as to whether he’d actually said the right thing.

Marcus closed his eyes briefly and warring emotions of need and concern marked his expression. When he opened them again he looked utterly determined and focused.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Liam shook his head. “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.”

Marcus nodded. “Climb on the bed and we’ll…” He stopped and just stared, seemingly lost for words, then just as fast he gestured with his hand toward the mattress. “Just, please, get on the bed.”

Liam didn’t hesitate. He climbed onto the bed and made himself comfy. He’d watched porn, he’d watched gay movies, but nothing made him an expert in what he needed to do next. With Hank it had been hard and fast and dirty, and Liam wanted different but didn’t know how to ask for it. Marcus stripped as fast as Liam had, and he reached into the bedside drawer for the lube and condoms.

He knelt beside Liam and leaned down to kiss him. “I love you,” he whispered. He deepened the kiss, then straddled Liam. “You could be inside me,” Marcus offered gently. “It doesn’t have to be this way the first time.”

“Yes. It does,” Liam said. “It does have to be this way, because that is what I want. Then maybe after we can change.” Liam wasn’t sure if that was what guys did, but when Marcus groaned into his neck Liam assumed he’d said something right. They kissed and finally Marcus laid his weight on Liam. For a while they rolled and pressed and made each other hotter and more needy by the minute. Marcus might be smaller, but he was strong, and Liam found he was happy to be manhandled. Even when he was lying over Marcus, he craved Marcus flipping them until his reassuring weight pinned Liam flat.

Marcus kissed a trail from throat to navel, and in a smooth move he took the tip of Liam’s cock in his mouth. This was familiar, the heat and pressure of his cock in Marcus’s mouth with orgasm building inside him was enough to let him relax into the bed. Marcus wasn’t going to hurt him. Marcus loved him. They spent weeks with anal play, loosening Liam, taming the panic, and this time when Marcus squeezed the cold gel on his hand and pressed fingers against Liam’s hole, it was familiar, as was the muttered cold, fucker, that Liam always said. Marcus chuckled around Liam’s cock, and he felt the vibrations right into his balls.

One finger began to stretch him, and he tensed until Marcus released the suction on Liam’s cock and instead concentrated on chasing the fears away with deep, all-consuming kisses. Stretching passed in a blaze of lust, and Liam rocked his head from side to side when he nearly lost it and had to force his orgasm to stop. Marcus appeared to know exactly what he needed, and he backed off the gentle press of his fingers on Liam’s prostate.

“Last chance,” Marcus offered gently. “We don’t—”

“Now, Marcus.”

“Maybe on all fours would be better? Easier?” Doubt crept into Marcus’s voice, but there was no room for doubt. Liam wanted to see Marcus.

“No. Like this. So I can see your eyes.”

Marcus nodded. “Remember. I love you.”

“I know.”

Marcus pressed the head of his cock to Liam, and Liam waited for the fear and revulsion. Instead he felt only all-consuming need, and he bore down as Marcus pushed inside. The burn was different to what he had felt with… He didn’t want to even think about Hank, but he couldn’t help it. This was a fullness, a stretching that was different to the tearing and the pain he’d had before. Liam felt owned and loved at the same time, and balls deep, Marcus stilled his movements.

“Okay?” he asked gently, punctuated with a kiss.

“Move,” Liam ordered. “Please move.”

Marcus didn’t have to be told again. He pulled out enough so that he could slide back in. “So hot,” Marcus whispered against his skin. “I love you.”

The words grounded Liam, and he refused to close his eyes even as orgasm built again and he was going to come.

“Please. Marcus.”

“Liam. Fuck.” Marcus tilted his hips and the brush of his cock against the sweet spot was game over for Liam. With a yell he arched up into Marcus as he came in hot strips across his stomach and between them. Marcus wasn’t far after him, one push, another and he stilled, an expression of ecstasy on his face.

They lay joined until Marcus was soft enough to withdraw, and he dropped the tied condom into the small trash can next to the bed. He rolled to lay next to Liam before encouraging him to look up and into his eyes.

A single tear slipped from Liam’s eye, and Marcus caught it on his finger. “God, Marcus, I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. That was beautiful. I want to do it again. Now.”

Marcus sighed in relief then chuckled. “Some of us are old men,” he teased.

“So old.” Liam joined in with a sigh of his own. “And kinda short.”

Their laughter joined and Liam felt like the luckiest and the happiest man alive.

Chapter 21

The Launton Christmas Tree Farm was exactly one hour drive from the ranch and if Hayley got any more excited in that short drive then Riley was worried she was going to make herself sick. The twins were quiet in their car seats, and Max stared out of the window—it was Hayley that was jabbering on about Christmas this and Christmas that.

“And they have a fire to roast hot dogs, so we could eat that. But not the twins, and not sure Max would want them. Did you know Harry likes hot dogs? Or is that Niall? I need to look that up when we get home. Oh, and yeah, we can get a wagon ride from the reception place to the trees and there are saws you can borrow to chop the tree down when you’ve chosen it.”

“Just a bit excited, then?” Riley asked her with a grin in the mirror.

“Soooo excited.”

Jack pulled in through the main entrance and parked alongside a couple other trucks. They’d brought Riley’s Tahoe just because they had four children, but Riley knew the truck would have been more practical for transporting the tree back. Jack assured him that he’d be able to tie it to the roof rack he’d added yesterday.

They had the twins out in the strollers, and Hayley near danced around them. Max remained in the car, and Riley considered this could be either Max’s desire to stay warm, or an autistic thing where the place was new and confusing.

“You cold?” he asked gently. Max looked up at him, then back down at Thomas. Carefully Riley encouraged Max to put on his gloves, then helped him down from the Tahoe before assisting him in donning his thick coat. The temperature had fallen a little—enough to require a jacket and gloves. There was no snow, but that didn’t matter, it was crisp and Christmassy and today was tree day.

He used one hand to push one of the stroller and the other Max gripped tightly. When a worker on the farm crossed to help them, Max asked to be picked up and Riley was pleased to do so. There was nothing like getting a Max hug even with Thomas pressed between them. Jack explained what the family wanted, and Hayley darted ahead in the direction they were given.

“Stay on the path,” Jack called after her.

She twirled in front of him and grinned back at them. “I’m staying,” she confirmed before carrying out a complicated dance-shake maneuver that ended with a star jump.

“It’s like having a miniature Riley,” Jack said with a pretend groan. “All that excitement and talking and jumping about.”

“You love it,” Riley answered with a grin. “But I don’t jump about.” He leaned in to whisper in Jack’s ear. “’cept when I jump you, of course.”