“Strangely enough, I feel calm about that. That place they’re going to is good. If they’re strong enough, if Eden…” He stopped. He didn’t want to vocalize anything at the moment. He still wanted Sean out of his sister’s life, but he’d accepted that wasn’t going to happen.

Jack didn’t call him on the sudden end to what he was saying. “So you’re here for the same reason as me then. Nerves.”

The two looked at each other, and Riley shook his head in disbelief that two grown men were standing outside scared about today’s meetings.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Riley dismissed the fears with that single sentence. Then he realized what he’d just said. “They could hate us.”

“They’re not going to hate us,” Jack said firmly. “We’re in love, married, committed, fathers to Hayley, they’ll love us.” He paused. “I think.”

“You think?”

“Hmm, no, I know. That isn’t even what I am worried about. What if we like all three women? What if we can’t choose? What if we choose and she’s the wrong one? How do we know the life we are creating is one that should even be in this world?”

Riley listened as Jack said his piece. Then he couldn’t help but comment. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? I hadn’t thought of any of that.”

“Oh,” Jack said quietly. “My bad.”

Riley groaned. “Jeez.”

* * * * *

Marcus ushered them into the room they’d had the first meeting in. This time everything felt different. This was happening, this was real. Marcus was relaxed and friendly. They sat at the table, and he took them through the process.

“So at the end of the day, don’t look on these as interviews, but more like a blind date where you want to know as much as you can about the woman involved, and let her ask you questions. We’re actually down to two as the first surrogate had to pull out for family reasons.”

“Is that going to happen with the two left?” Jack asked instantly.

Marcus shook his head. “No, this is very rare. Her father collapsed over the weekend, and she has suggested if you don’t match today, then she would certainly be available in the future.”

“Okay, please send our regards,” Riley offered.

“I will.” Marcus placed two folders on the desk. “These are our two candidates. Rebecca and Madeline. At this point we don’t share surnames from our side, but the surrogate will tell you when you meet. Rebecca is a mom of three, and a foster parent. She has also had two surrobabies, which is the description commonly used for taking a baby to term as a surrogate. Both babies were well, and both placed with the families who contracted with her. Her husband is a website designer, and she is an editor for an online bookseller. Madeline is thirty-four. A stay-at-home-mom, she has two children of her own and has never been a surrogate, although she has been on the books for some time. She is also a foster mom and is married to a librarian.”

“Is there a link there?” Jack asked. “Between wanting to be a surrogate and also fostering?”

“Not always, but there are more cases than not. A woman who surrounds herself with children and wants to give couples like yourselves a chance is a very special person.” He looked at them as if he was daring them to disagree.

The meeting with Madeline went well. She was friendly, approachable, but Jack didn’t feel like it was right. As he listened to Riley ask questions, all he could think was that maybe they were never destined to find a match this go round. After all, it was a big commitment from the surrogate. At least Madeline didn’t appear fazed with the fact that Riley and Jack were a gay married couple. That was a plus. When she left the small room, Riley looked at Jack and tilted his head.

“Yes, this is hard,” Jack answered the unspoken question.

“She was very nice,” Riley answered carefully. He looked down at the papers in his lap and suddenly seemed like he had something to say. Jack waited for whatever it was. “Something felt wrong,” he said finally. “And I feel so guilty for thinking that.”

“Jeez, me too,” Jack said quickly. “It wasn’t that she was wrong so much. Just that she wasn’t right.”

They smiled at each other. Clearly they were looking at this the exact same way. A knock on the door preceded Marcus coming in the room.

“Are you ready for Rebecca?”

Jack and Riley both said yes, and Marcus disappeared for a moment before leading in a tall slim woman who shook hands with both Riley and Jack. She sat in the chair recently vacated by Madeline, and Jack watched her as she settled herself, then looked at the two men with expectation on her face.

“What kind of things would you like to ask?” she began.

“We know the basics,” Riley answered. He looked at the papers. “You’ve done this before.”

“Twice,” she said with a smile. “A boy and a girl. Both carried to thirty-eight weeks, both healthy and happy in their new homes.”

“Do you keep in touch with the families?”

“Not a lot,” she answered honestly. “Not because I don’t want to or that the families don’t want me to, but I feel it is best the children grow and learn from their intended parents.”

“And you have children of your own?”

“Three. I also foster as and when I am needed. At the moment I have a small boy staying with us, Max.”

“That is a lot of responsibility,” Jack said quickly. He knew no surrogate was going to be able to laze around all day just to nurture their baby, but Rebecca sounded like she had her hands full.

“My husband is a website designer, and we manage to juggle our working arrangements enough to mean that there is plenty of time to spend with the children.”

“Are you well in your pregnancies?” Riley closed the file. Inside was all kinds of information about blood pressure and terms, but apparently, like Jack, he wanted to hear everything the same way that they’d heard Madeline, unscripted and very real. Jack watched them as Riley asked questions and Rebecca answered. Something niggled at the back of his head as he listened to Rebecca’s answers. She reminded him of someone but he couldn’t think who it was. She was strong, determined, and focused, yet there was a gentility about her that seemed as if she could cope with anything thrown at her and do it in style.

“My mom,” Jack blurted out suddenly. Rebecca looked at him in surprise, and he realized he had interrupted her talking.

Riley looked at Jack and smiled. The happiness in his expression settled Jack, and somehow he just knew that Rebecca was going to be the one that they chose.

They talked a little while longer and finally, shaking hands, Rebecca left and Marcus took her place. He settled himself at the desk.

“Initial thoughts, gentlemen? Or any questions?”

“Do intended parents make their minds up on the first interviews normally?” Jack asked. Maybe they should be considering other surrogates, maybe wait for the third one who couldn’t make it today.

Marcus nodded at the question. “I would say three out of four matches are made on first interviews. Some intended parents simply want the process to start as soon as possible. Other times the match is because both parties feel comfortable immediately.”

“What did Rebecca and Madeline think about us?” Riley asked. Jack saw the question for what it was. Riley was still worrying about what the surrogate’s opinion was of Riley and Jack.

Marcus looked to be considering what to say. “Both felt like they would be happy to go ahead, so the decision is up to you.”

“Rebecca,” Jack said immediately.

“Rebecca,” Riley said at the same time.

“You can take some time to think about it.”

“We’re agreed. We liked Rebecca.”

Jack settled back in the chair and the weight of everything they were doing lifted slightly from his shoulders. Another step in the right direction, and all being well he and Riley could be dads again. Riley grasped his hand and held tight as they listened to what happened next. Some of it legal, some medical, all of it a jumble in Jack’s head.