“What if?”

“What if all we have now between us is Emily? What if money becomes what defines his life?”

Emily ran off and climbed onto a box, proceeding to sing at the top of her voice. Such a happy child and not a shadow of her biological father in her at all. Jack watched his niece and thought about what to say next.

“You want me to say something to him?” Although what he’d say, he didn’t know. Maybe Riley could talk to Steve; after all, they were best friends.

“God, no,” Beth said, horrified. “I get that I’m just being really stupid. But I can’t help the way I feel. In three years we haven’t really talked about children. We haven’t needed to, and every time we even thought about it there was always this expectation that it was something we would talk about another day.”

* * * * *

Riley stretched in his chair, then pushed it away from his home office desk. He was working from home today because he found he got way more done in this small place off he and Jack’s bedroom than he ever did in his main office. Checking his phone, he realized he needed to make a move. Steve had texted this morning to say he and Beth were visiting and Riley needed some Emily-loving. He walked into the kitchen and stood quietly in the doorway at what he saw. Steve was sitting with his head in his hands at the table with five chocolate cookies piled in front of him.

“Hey,” he said quietly. Steve jumped, then swiveled in his seat. The movement of his arm knocked over the delicately balanced cookies, and they scattered across the table. “What’s wrong?” Sudden fear gripped Riley. “Is it Emily? Beth?”

“No, they’re fine. Sit down, Riley.”

Riley didn’t argue; he sat in the chair Steve was indicating and wondered what the hell his best friend was going to say to him. They’d been friends for so long, and Steve had stuck with him through all the shit he’d done before he’d realized what an asshole he was being. Outside of Jack, Steve was the only other male who could tug on his heartstrings with a single look.

“What did I do?” he asked cautiously. He couldn’t recall anything he’d done, but he was always best to assume he was in the wrong, so then he could be suitably sorry in advance.

“Nothing.” Steve punched him on the arm. “Idiot,” he said fondly. “You’re all grown up now,” he added.

“Thank you. I think.”

“I need some advice,” Steve said. He pushed a file over to Riley. “Look at that.”

Riley opened it and recognized the letterhead as a firm of lawyers that his dad sometimes did work for. The paper was all heretos and forthwiths, but then other things jumped out at him. Figures, dates, names. He flicked to the second page, which was some kind of bank statement with some pretty hefty numbers, bottom line sixty-three million, three hundred ten thousand, and fifty-three dollars. Next to the number was a star that linked to the proviso that the case deposits accounted for seventy-three percent and as such increased daily.

“What is it?” Riley asked curiously. He turned back to the first page and zeroed in on the date of the sheet, then his friend’s name.

“My trust information. Next month, Riley, I turn thirty and that is how much is in there, and fuck, I knew the family had money, but I didn’t realize it was that much, and hell, what kind of man does that make me that I didn’t even know about this? All the charity work I did and I could have just said to them all, wait till I’m thirty and I’ll just write you a check.” Steve stopped but he was breathing heavily and there was fear in his eyes. “Beth wants more children,” he blurted out as an ending.

Riley blinked at the last words. Then it hit him. ”You’re joking.”

“I wish I was.” Steve put his head in his hands.

Riley shook his head. “What made her think about this now?”

Steve sighed noisily. “I don’t know. I thought we were happy as we are. What if she gets pregnant and I lose her? What if just the act of carrying my baby means she dies? I love her, she loves me, we have Emily. I don’t understand why this happening.”

“Have you considered this could be connected to Jeff?” Riley asked carefully. Even speaking his brother’s name made Riley resentful and angry.

“I’m always considering Jeff,” Steve said with bitter, snapped words.

”I don’t know how to say what I want to say,” Riley said gently. “I just think there are other things at play here.”

“You think I’m stupid? I know what you want to say, Ri. That Emily isn’t biologically mine, and that you are more of a blood relative than I could ever be—”

“That isn’t what I was going to say. Fuck, Steve. I could punch you to the floor right here, right now.” Riley clenched his fists and Steve leaned back. Riley let out a noisy sigh. “I was going to say, we’re not really equipped to understand the call of…” He stopped.

“Nature?” Steve suggested.

“Yeah, the ticking clock and all that.”

“But her heart.”

Riley considered the words. “So tell me what the doctor said last visit.”

“That she was doing well. That with careful planning and support she could have another baby.”

“So you’ve spoken to the doctor about this?” Riley frowned. If the doc said it was okay, then what was going on in Steve’s head?

“Not me, I left. She asked and I walked out, I was so angry.”

“Angry at Beth?”

“Yes. No…yes…fuck.”

“Why were you angry?”

Steve groaned. “Because maybe I want that, deep inside, maybe I want another baby with Beth. To see her carry our child…hell…what am I doing?”

“Talking to a friend who is listening,” Riley encouraged.

“Then when we went to the lawyer last week about the trust fund. We were in the lawyer’s office and he gave me this letter, and suddenly I was inundated with money and wondering what the hell I was going to do with it and thinking about you and how you could help me. Then I turned to her and just knew what I wanted to say.”

“What did you say?”

“Fuck, Riley.”

“Steve…”

“I said we didn’t need another baby, that in a month or two we would have all this money.”

Riley listened to the run-on sentences and abruptly everything was clear about why they were arguing. He could see why Beth may not think Steve was actually listening to her.

“So you argued.”

“We did, but we drove home and Emily fell over in the kitchen and I came in and saw her and Beth cuddling on the floor and I just said it spontaneously that I wanted a baby if that is what Beth wanted. I had to talk loudly though because Em was crying.”

“What did she say?”

“She just stared at me with tears in her eyes.”

“So you said it again to her?”

“Yeah, not then, because she was upset. But when we got back from taking Emily to daycare, it was at the garage where we were dropping the car. We were arguing and I—” He stopped and suddenly looked dismayed. Like a bulb had clicked on over his head.

“On any of these occasions was it just about you and her?” Riley said patiently. “No money or Emily or making up after a fight? But you and her and you telling her how she completes your life and you love her. That you want to be with her until you’re old and gray and the thought of having a baby with her was perfect? Scary, sure, but perfect?”

“Shit.”

“Candles? Wine? After you’d made love?”

“Fuck.” Steve closed his eyes and groaned. “I so fucked this up.”

“So, what you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

Riley thought for a moment. “Organize an official meeting to talk to me about your money. I have some contacts that could help you form a foundation. We can cross that bridge when we come to it. As for Beth, well, you love her, she loves you. The rest is all kinds of easy.” Riley stood and held out a hand to pull Steve to a standing position. He hugged his friend. “Let’s go find them.”