‘Are you sure?

‘Yes, I’m sure. You’ve been collecting them every single day, so today it’s my turn.’

‘They’ll be overjoyed,’ said Erica, sitting back down at the table.

‘Yes, they will,’ said Anna with a smile, taking the car keys from the worktop. In the hall she turned round.

‘Dan . . . thank you. I needed this. It was great to have a chance to talk it out.’

‘Hey, no problem. I enjoyed it. We could take a walk tomorrow too if the weather holds. I’m working till quarter to three, so what do you say to an hour’s walk before you have to fetch the kids?’

‘Sounds great. But now I have to hurry, or Ewa will be furious, or whatever it was you said.’ One last smile and she vanished out of the front door.

Erica turned to Dan. ‘What the hell did you do on that walk, anyway? Smoke hash together?’

Dan laughed. ‘No, nothing like that. Anna just needed someone to talk to, and it was as if a cork popped out of her somehow. When she finally started to talk, she was impossible to stop.’

‘I’ve been trying to talk to her for months,’ Erica said. She couldn’t help feeling a bit hurt.

‘You know how it is with you two, Erica,’ said Dan calmly. ‘You have a lot of old baggage between you. Maybe it’s not so easy for Anna to talk to you. You’re too close to each other, in both good and bad ways. But when we were out walking she told me she’s incredibly grateful that you and Patrik were so willing to help, and above all that you’ve been so fantastic with the kids.’

‘She said that?’ Erica could hear how starved for appreciation she sounded. She was so used to taking care of Anna, and she did it gladly, but no matter how selfish it might sound, she wanted Anna to acknowledge the help received.

‘That’s what she said,’ Dan said, putting his hand on hers. It felt familiar and nice.

‘But all that about the wedding sounded a bit worrisome,’ Dan went on. ‘Do you think you can manage to take care of everything in six weeks? Just say the word if you want my help.’ He made funny faces at Maja, who whooped with laughter.

‘What would you do to help?’ Erica snorted, pouring more coffee. ‘Pick out a bridal gown for me, or what?’

Dan laughed. ‘Oh yeah, that would be a big success. No, but I could provide some beds at my house for your guests, for instance. If you need it. I have plenty of room.’ He turned serious, and Erica knew exactly what was preying on his mind.

‘You know, it’ll all work out. It’ll get better.’

‘You think so?’ he said morosely, taking a sip of coffee. ‘God only knows. I miss them so damn much. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to fall to pieces.’

‘Is it the kids, or Pernilla and the kids, that you miss?’

‘I don’t know. Both, I suppose, although I’ve accepted that Pernilla has moved on. But I feel like I’m dying inside because I can’t see the girls every day. Not being there when they wake up, when they go to school, not being able to eat dinner with them and hear how their day was. All of that. Instead I sit all week in that house. It’s so empty that it echoes. I wanted to keep the place so that they wouldn’t lose their childhood home too, but now I don’t know if I can afford it much longer. I may have to sell in within the next six months.’

‘Believe me, I’ve been there, done that,’ said Erica, referring to how close they had come to having Lucas put their house up for sale; the house where they were now sitting, the home where she and Anna had grown up.

‘I just don’t know what to do with my life,’ said Dan, running his hands through his short blond hair.

‘Who are these cheerful people in the kitchen?’ Patrik’s voice from the hallway interrupted them.

‘We’re just talking about what Dan should do with his house,’ Erica said, getting up to kiss her future spouse. Maja had also noticed that the man in her life had come in the door, and now she was waving her arms frantically to be picked up.

Dan looked at her and histrionically threw his arms wide. ‘What’s up with that? I thought we had something going here, you and I. And then you throw me over for the first guy who comes in the door. Kids today, I swear. They don’t know real quality when they see it.’

‘Hey, Dan,’ said Patrik, patting him on the shoulder with a laugh. Then he picked up Maja. ‘Yeah, Pappa is at the top of the list with this little girl,’ he said, giving Maja a kiss and rubbing his stubbly beard against her neck, which made her squeal with delight.

‘By the way, Erica, don’t you have to collect the kids?’

Erica paused for effect. Then she said with a big smile, ‘Anna’s picking them up.’

‘What did you say? Anna’s picking them up?’ Patrik looked amazed, but also pleased.

‘Yes, this hero here took Anna for a walk, and then they smoked a little hash, and –’

‘We did not, stop it!’ laughed Dan, turning to Patrik. ‘This is how it was. Erica rang and asked whether I could try to coax Anna out for a walk so she could get some exercise. And Anna agreed to come along, and we took a lovely long walk. It seemed to do her a lot of good to get out of the house.’

‘That’s a real understatement,’ said Erica, ruffling Dan’s hair. ‘What do you say to basking in the glow of our gratitude for a while longer, and stay for dinner?’

‘Depends. What are you having?’

‘You’re certainly spoiled,’ Erica said with a laugh. ‘Anyway, it’s chicken stew with avocado and jasmine rice.’

‘Okay, it’s a deal.’

‘Nice to hear that we come up to your high standards, Mr Gourmet.’

‘We’ll see about that after I’ve tasted it.’

‘Oh, come off it,’ said Erica, and got up to start making dinner.

She felt warm inside. This had been a good day. A very good day. She turned to ask Patrik how his had been.

Chapter 2

The good had outweighed the evil. Or had it? Sometimes, in the night when he tossed and turned with the nightmares, he wasn’t so sure. But now, in the daylight, he was utterly certain that the good had prevailed. He felt the evil only as shadows lurking in the corners, not daring to show its ugly face. And that suited him fine.

They had both loved her. So incredibly much. But perhaps he was the one who loved her more. And perhaps she had loved him more. They’d had something special. Nothing could ever come between them. What was ugly and filthy slid off them without sticking.

His sister had regarded them without jealousy. She knew that she was seeing something unique. Something that she couldn’t possibly compete with. And they included her. Swept her into their love, let her take part in it too. There was no reason to feel jealous. Being allowed into that kind of love was something granted only to a few.

It was because she loved them so boundlessly that she restricted their world. And they gratefully let themselves be restricted. Why would they need anyone else? Why should they be burdened with all the nastiness that they knew existed out there? He wouldn’t be able to cope out there. That’s what she said. He was so accident-prone. He regularly dropped things, knocked things over, broke things to bits. If she let them go out in the world, terrible things would happen. Someone who was such a klutz would never be able to manage. But she always said it so lovingly. ‘My klutz,’ she said. ‘My little klutz.’

Her love was enough for him. And it was enough for his sister. Most of the time, at least.

This whole set-up sucked. Jonna listlessly lifted the goods onto the conveyor belt so that she could read off the code. Big Brother had been a regular Hultsfred Music Festival compared to this. This sucked! Although she really couldn’t complain. She had seen earlier seasons of the show, so she knew that they would have to live and work in this dump they’d ended up in. But sitting at the checkout in a fucking ICA supermarket! She hadn’t expected that. Her only consolation was that Barbie had ended up there too. She was at the register behind Jonna’s, with her silicone boobs squeezed into the red apron. And all morning Jonna had been forced to listen to her stupid chatter and to all the customers, from immature teens with squeaky voices to disgusting old men who tried to chat up Barbie. Didn’t they get it that they didn’t have to talk to a girl like Barbie? Just buy her a couple of drinks and then it was full speed ahead. Idiots.