“Um, that’s okay,” I said, lightly pushing against Blane’s chest until he took a step back. I took a shaky breath, trying to regain my equilibrium.

Alisha and Bits headed down the stairs. We watched them in silence, then Blane turned back to me, his expression slightly sardonic.

“I’d better go,” he said, and I nodded.

“Thanks again for dinner,” I said, my voice a little too breathless.

“I’ll call you,” Blane said. Leaning down, his lips brushed mine again, then he was jogging down the stairs to his car. A moment later, the Jag was roaring out of the lot.

I wanted to be in my apartment before Alisha came back up, but I wasn’t quick enough.

“What the hell?” she said, rushing up the stairs. Poor Bits was dragged the last few steps. “Since when are you seeing Blane again?”

Alisha still held a grudge against Blane for breaking our engagement, not that I blamed her. She’d seen me fall apart and hers had been the shoulder I’d cried on.

“I’m not,” I protested. “Not . . . really.” Finally, I managed to unlock my door, but Alisha followed me inside. Bits ran to greet Tigger, who acted like he wasn’t pleased as could be to see his canine buddy.

“Did I not just see you making out with him?”

“Yeah, but we just went to dinner, and there was wine, and I dunno . . .” I avoided eye contact as I tossed my purse onto the kitchen table.

“So he got you drunk?” Alisha asked, appalled.

“No, of course not,” I protested. “I don’t know what’s going on. He knows I slept with Kade, but—”

“You slept with Kade?” Her voice was a near screech. “And didn’t tell me?”

I collapsed on the couch, laughing a little at her incredulity.

“It was in Vegas,” I explained. “After Blane and I broke up. But then he didn’t remember, so it didn’t matter, and then he did, and then he got shot.” I sighed. Recounting the recent history between Kade and me had sobered me right up. “Now Blane seems intent on making me pick him, even though I said I wouldn’t choose between him and Kade.”

I covered my face with my hands. “Oh God, what am I going to do?” I moaned.

“Don’t care,” Alisha said, plopping down next to me. “I want details.”

“Alisha!”

“Kade seems like he’d be really good, lots of stamina. Was he good?”

I laughed at the eager excitement on her face. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that,” I said.

“Are you kidding?” she protested. “He’s stunningly gorgeous, saved you from being blown up, and oozes sex. Of course I want to know how it was!”

Alisha was completely unrepentant about her avid curiosity, which made me laugh despite myself.

“It was . . .” I searched for the right word, images replaying inside my head of Kade and me making love in Vegas, and again in the warm sunshine of an Indiana July afternoon. “It was . . . the best,” I said simply, shrugging. I couldn’t help the small smile tugging at my lips.

Alisha squealed in delight, throwing her arms around me in an exuberant hug, but then she suddenly pulled back, a frown on her face.

“So then why were you making out with Blane?” she asked.

My smile melted away. “Because a long-term thing with Kade is out of the question,” I said. “The closest he ever got to it was asking me to stay with him when we were in Vegas, but then he took it back.”

“Took it back? What do you mean?”

“He said it was too dangerous for me to be around him,” I explained. “So, yeah, I’m in love with him, but what’s the point? It’s not like he proposed.”

“And Blane?”

I remembered what Blane had said outside The Drop when we’d both been afraid he was heading to jail for Kandi’s murder: If I get out of this, if I still have a name worth giving to you, please tell me you’ll give us another chance. I can offer you more than Kade ever can or will.

“Blane still wants to marry me,” I said. “I think. Maybe.”

“Is that what you want?”

I thought about it. Part of me longed to settle down, build a home, a family, a life. But the other part of me wavered in indecision, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t think I was ready for that, or if I didn’t know who I wanted to settle down with.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered. “I don’t want to choose between them. It just seems wrong. They’re brothers.”

Kade wasn’t exactly a “settle down” kind of guy. Would being with him mean I’d have to give up having a family? Kids? But then again, I had to remember that he hadn’t offered me anything. Despite all we’d shared with each other in the darkened hospital room, future plans had not been discussed.

Whereas Blane had been clear about a future with him. He wanted to get married and start a family. When I’d apologized months ago for a pregnancy scare, he’d simply smiled and replied, I wasn’t scared.

Alisha sighed, sitting back against the couch and staring off into space like I was.

“Well, we could make a list of pros and cons?” she said, making it a question.

I turned and looked at her.

“It was just a suggestion,” she muttered. She thought for a moment. “I guess it comes down to . . . who you love more, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not choosing,” I said again.

We sat in contemplative silence for a few minutes, then Alisha stood.

“Well, I don’t have to tell you who I’d pick,” she said with a snort. “And as captivating as the soap opera of your life has become, I’ve still got to get to bed. Let me know if you need anything.” She gathered Bits in her arms while I stood, then gave me a hug. I walked her to the door.

“Love you,” she called as she left.

“Love you, too,” I replied, closing and locking the door behind her.

I cleaned the makeup off my face, brushed my teeth, and ran a brush through my hair. After changing into pajamas of knit shorts and a tank, I crawled into bed.

As tired as I was, though, I couldn’t sleep. I watched the minutes tick by on the clock, my mind refusing to quiet. I was doing my best to ignore the voice in the back of my head that was insistent on wanting to see Kade.

It was after midnight when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and my pulse leapt as I answered it.

“Did I wake you?” Kade asked.

“No. Can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” I lied. I closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the sound of his voice in my ear.

“Are you boycotting the hospital?” he asked.

I frowned, unsure what he meant. “No . . .”

“Because I haven’t seen you today.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I . . . I know you need to rest, so you can get better, and I didn’t want to come by tonight and wake you again.”

“You’re lying.”

I didn’t reply. I never could get a lie past him, so there was no sense denying it.

“Why aren’t you here really?” he asked. “And don’t lie to me, because I’ll know.”

I sighed. There was no hiding it. I might as well just tell him and let the chips fall where they may. “Because I was out to dinner with Blane tonight,” I confessed, flopping onto my back. “And it felt . . . wrong for me to see him, then come see you.”

Kade was quiet for a moment while I held my breath. Would he be angry?

“Do you want to see me?”

My answer was immediate. “Yes.”

“Then come to me.” The low growl of his voice sent a delicious shiver through me.

My smile was wide as I said, “I’ll be there soon.” I ended the call and bounded out of bed, slipping on flip-flops and grabbing my purse before bolting out the door.

I made record time to the hospital and was now an expert at avoiding nurses as I crept to Kade’s room. When I slowly pushed open the door, I realized the machines had been removed. That was a good sign. That meant they’d be releasing him soon, I hoped.

I tiptoed into the room, conscious that Kade might have fallen asleep. My eyes hadn’t adjusted yet when I felt hands descend on my shoulders. I yelped in surprise, spinning around to see Kade standing behind me.