In cold blood, whispered that nasty little voice. You didn’t even blink.

True. I hadn’t felt a damn thing as I’d pulled that trigger, nothing beyond anger, but even then that fury hadn’t felt tangible. Gods knew I totally had an anger management problem, but I had never snapped like that. Throwing apples was one thing. Shooting people in the head was taking it to a whole new level.

What was wrong with me? Better yet, what was I turning in to?

Forcing several deep breaths into my lungs, I straightened and let the suds rinse off my body. I turned off the shower and grabbed a fluffy towel, wrapping it around me.

The numbness was inside me, seeping through the pores, coating my skin. I felt like I needed to take another shower and keep taking them until it washed away whatever this was.

I didn’t check myself out when I opened the door and stepped into the adjoining room.

Aiden sat on the edge of the bed, hands resting on his knees. The Glock was next to him, and the daggers were unhooked, placed in a neat line beside the gun. He lifted his head, his dark gray eyes slowly moving over me until centering on mine. My heart jumped in my chest, and I felt the muscles in my lower stomach tighten.

When I was around Aiden, I wasn’t numb.

I could feel so much.

Crossing the distance between us, I stopped between his spread legs. Aiden sat up straighter, his gaze questioning. Air hitched in my throat as he lifted his arms. I moved forward, placing my knees on either side of his hips. He folded his arms around me, sealing my chest to his as I rested my cheek against his shoulder. Minutes ticked by in silence. His hand trailed up and down my back in a soothing gesture that beat away at the numbness, but I wanted to feel more. Needed to feel more.

I rocked back in his lap and placed my hand on his cheek. A jolt of awareness ran from my palm up my arm. Unseen to him, the marks of the Apollyon bled through my skin, swirling down my arm until they reached my hand.

His lashes lowered. “We need to talk about what happened, Alex.”

Talking was the last thing I wanted, right next to thinking. Feeling was the only thing I was interested in at the moment. I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his. Our mouths lined up perfectly, and Aiden’s chest rose sharply.

His hand tightened into a fist against the small of my back. “This isn’t talking.”

“I don’t want to talk.” I brushed my lips across his. Nothing more than a quick sweep of our mouths, but Aiden’s embrace tightened. “I want to feel you.”

“Alex—”

I pulled back a little and dropped the towel, surprising even myself since I was definitely on the body-conscious side of things at the time.

Aiden held my gaze for a moment, and then it dipped, and I felt his stare as if it were a heated touch. Warmth rose to my skin as he dragged his eyes back up. Knowing Aiden, he wanted to do the right thing. There was a lot we needed to talk about—the numbness I felt, the fact that I’d frozen in battle the day before, the meeting in the Council, Seth, the fact that I’d just shot my stepfather in the head, and the possibility of us becoming very unprepared parents. The Aiden I knew would want to hash all that out, because every single item was important, but the Aiden I loved wouldn’t ever turn me down again.

He placed his hands on the sides of my face and guided my head to his. The moment our lips touched it was like waking up after a too-long sleep. Sensation raced through my system, pouring into my bloodstream and chasing away the coldness. The kiss deepened, and I knew that Aiden was right where I was. We would talk, but it would be later. Much later.

“What is this?” Aiden asked, his voice deep and husky.

“What?”

His fingers slimmed over my hip and lower back. He was touching the oddly shaped scar. I stiffened. Grabbing his hand, I moved it away. I kissed him deeper, harder, drawing his attention from it until I knew he wasn’t thinking about it any longer. His hands slid across my shoulders and then down to my waist, leaving a shivery wake behind. He tugged me to his chest and, though he was still in his uniform, his skin seared mine. Kissing Aiden was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after not being able to breathe. His kisses chased away all the what-ifs and strange feelings that had twisted inside me.

Aiden’s lips blazed a path down my throat, and my head tipped back. He wrapped an arm around my waist as his other hand drifted up my stomach and then further up, eliciting a sharp gasp from me. A deep, nerve-frying sound came from within his chest, and every muscle under my hands knotted in response. His lips neared the sensitive spot, and his breath rasped in my ear. There was a painstaking moment when neither of us moved and it was just our hearts pounding in our chests, thundering in our veins, and then in an instant, the exquisite feel of his lips against my pulse wasn’t enough.

I pulled back to get my hands on that annoying shirt of his and opened my eyes.

All-white eyes stared back into mine. Lips were twisted into a cruel smirk. The face was frightening familiar—chillingly handsome and devoid of compassion. “You can never win.”

Icy terror froze the scream building in my chest as I jerked back, breaking the hold around my waist. I thumped onto the floor. Ignoring the burst of dull pain across my backside, I rocked to my feet and lurched to the side, grabbing Aiden’s pistol. It was only as my fingers closed around the handle when I realized how fruitless shooting Ares would be.

I swung the gun around anyway, because I figured it had to sting at least, but I froze because it wasn’t Ares standing there.

It was Aiden, his eyes wide and the color of the sky before a violent summer storm. His hands were at his sides, and his chest rose and fell sharply. “Alex? What… what are you doing?”

I drew in a ragged breath, but it never reached my lungs. A boulder had landed on my chest, crushing me as I took a step back. I didn’t understand what I was seeing. It had been Ares—it had been him! His face—his voice.

“Agapi mou, talk to me. Tell me what is going on,” he said, his voice hoarse but his eyes still holding mine. “What’s happening?”

“Aiden?” I whispered, my hand shaking.

He nodded slowly, and the one word he spoke was hoarse. “Yes.”

The pressure turned into slicing fear and confusion as I stared at him. The logical part of me screamed that this was Aiden standing before me, that Ares couldn’t get inside the University, but I couldn’t let my guard down, because if it was him…

“It wasn’t you,” I whispered, my finger spasming dangerously over the trigger. “It wasn’t you.”

Tension pulled at his lips. “What do you mean? Because it’s me. I’m here with you, agapi mou. I’m right here.”

A tremor coursed down my arm as uncertainty spread into my chest like a gulp of too-cold water. I knew I should probably lower the gun before I accidentally did shoot Aiden, because it had to be him standing before me, but I couldn’t do it.

“Is it Seth?” he asked, his fingers curling into his palms. “Is he doing this?”

“Seth?” I blinked. “No. It wasn’t you. It was…it was Ares.”

An immediate pain flickered across his face, spreading sorrow into his brilliant silver gaze, and I didn’t like the look because it was such a deep hurt. “I’m here with you. I’ve been here with you this whole time, agapi mou.”

The next breath I took scalded my throat. “I think…I think I’m going crazy.”

“Oh, Alex…”

Those two words broke my heart in a way nothing ever had before. The ache in them settled in my bones like lead. I shuddered.

“Look at me,” he said in a low voice. “You know it’s me.”

Then Aiden stepped forward, and he was the bravest being in this world to do so with a gun pointed at his heart. Slowly, as if not to frighten me, he reached out and gently pried my fingers off the gun. My heart turned over heavily. Without taking his eyes off mine, he placed the gun back on the bed and picked up a quilt. He draped the soft material over my shoulders, pulling it closed in the front as he pressed a small, tender kiss against my forehead.