“Thanks,” I said. “I feel better now.”

“Plus, I got to use my science fair project to attack a castle. Not many people can say that.”

I remembered the smoke I’d seen. “What were you shooting out of that launcher?”

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“Mostly smoke bombs. And a few explosive potatoes. You’d be surprised what you can do with stump remover, gasoline, and hair spray.” He shot a look over at Sandra to make sure she wasn’t listening. “Don’t tell my mom though. I don’t want her to ask me how I knew how to make all that stuff.”

Hudson walked over to us, and Nick did a double take. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I got dragged on the Tansy Wish Cruise like the rest of you.” Robin Hood let out a whistle to let everyone know it was time to go. He and the Merry Men headed out through the forest. Nick had a flashlight, so Hudson and I stayed close to him. As we walked, Hudson told Nick how Clover had sent him here and what had happened since then. At least most of it.

“You forgot the parts about Sister Mary Theresa,” I said.

Hudson smirked. “I didn’t forget. I just figured I’d tell Nick those parts later.”

Nick chuckled. “A nun. She sounds hot.” Hudson’s smirk didn’t fade. “Nuns have a heavenly beauty.” Yeah, I bet that’s what Hudson was interested in. Heavenly beauty.

Nick shook his head. “Man, you’ve been here too long. I’ve seen the women here. They all have greasy hair, smell bad—and dentists haven’t been invented yet. Some of them are downright trollish.

Really, this place has ruined medieval computer games for me.” Hudson and Nick went on talking. I stayed quiet and listened, envying how easily they got along. Hudson’s voice was never measured, never wary, like it was sometimes when he spoke to me.

We kept trudging around bushes and trees until we came to a clearing. Not only was Dad’s big blue tent set up, but dozens of small ones—blankets propped up on sticks—were spread around too. More 224/356

horses than I could count were tethered to nearby trees, sleeping with their heads hanging low. The remains of a fire sat in the middle of the camp, along with a messy pile of logs and tinder. Boxes sat outside our tent with some of our belongings piled in them. My coat lay on top of one box. Bottles of water were stacked in another. My backpack leaned up against a sleeping bag. I hoped someone had thought to bring me a pillow, pajamas, and a toothbrush. These items suddenly seemed like the height of luxury. I realized I might be able to sleep with a real pillow tonight.

Robin Hood strode over to me wearing his usual half smile. “Now then, about our pay …”

I sent my sleeping bag a longing look. “Can’t it wait until morning?”

He shook his head. “Most of these men are mere villagers who came on this venture on the promise that they would be paid handsomely. They’ll want to leave at first light, before the king can send his knights around to enquire if anyone knows aught of the attack.” Which meant the sleeping bag would have to wait.

I ended up changing the tinder from the woodpile. Then Little John chopped the firewood into small chunks and I changed that into gold too. Each time I uttered the chant, pain rippled through my chest.

Finally, when everyone had as much gold as they could carry, they let me go to my tent. I walked there with Sandra.

“How did you guys even connect with Robin Hood?” I asked.

She unzipped the door flap. “It’s amazing what sort of messages you can pass along when you bribe people with things from the twenty-first century. It makes me wish I had bought the jumbo-sized cinnamon container at Costco. You wouldn’t believe what that stuff is worth here.”

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Inside the tent, a pillow, pajamas, a toothbrush, and toothpaste waited for me. I wanted to cry when I saw them. They were better than gold.

• • •

I was the last one to wake up in the morning. The sun had already risen, and the extra men from last night had left. Only the Merry Men were around, cooking some unidentifiable creatures over the fire.

Robin Hood had provided my family with medieval clothes to help us blend in. I put on a stained brown dress that was too short, too wide, and had an odd collar that I didn’t believe was ever in style. He said he bought them, but I wondered if he stole them. Perhaps somewhere out there was a short, fat, tasteless peasant woman who was missing her dress.

For our breakfast, Sandra warmed up a couple of cans of hash on a frying pan that lay over the coals. We had no way to make toast, so we put butter in another pan and fried the bread. Frying pans—not just fashionable but functional too.

We still had some leftover fruit from our fridge, and the Merry Men were so eager to have the oranges that Sandra pulled all the wedges apart and handed them out. I hadn’t realized oranges were a delicacy in the Middle Ages. It almost made me feel guilty for the way I’d always eaten them without thinking about it.

While we had breakfast, Hudson told my family about the deal he’d made with Bartimaeus.

“Will he be able to send all of us back?” Nick asked.

“Do you think he could send the house too?” Sandra asked.

Dad put a hand on her knee. “That doesn’t matter. We can always get a new house. The important thing is to get us back.” 226/356

I wondered if the neighbors had noticed that our house was gone yet. That wasn’t the sort of thing we were going to be able to explain very well. When we returned to Rock Canyon, we would probably be known as those bizarre Millers whose house up and disappeared one day. Which was one more thing that would make me stand out as the weird girl at school.

Hudson ate his hash slowly. “Bartimaeus needs the Gilead, so hopefully he’ll agree to send us all back.”

“How long will it take to get to his village?” Sandra asked, taking small bites of her toast.

“It’s about ten miles east from the castle,” Hudson said, “but I’m not sure where we are now. How far north did we come last night?”

“About twenty miles,” Dad said.

Nick shoveled hash into his mouth. “So that’s only thirty miles—less if we can cut across the distance. We could drive that in a couple of hours.”

Hudson shook his head. “Most of the roads here are just foot-paths. You can’t drive cars on them. We only got as far as we did last night because we kept to a road that wagons use to go to market.

Besides, King John’s men will be watching for your cars now. They know they were used in the attack.” He looked up from his plate as though remembering something. “Did the Merry Men go brush away the tire tracks from the road this morning?” Dad nodded. Apparently they’d discussed those details before, maybe last night while I’d been changing wood into gold. It was odd to hear my father and Hudson talking like equals. Dad usually spoke to Nick’s friends with a kind of patronizing tolerance. But Hudson had been here for months. He knew this century better than the rest of us, and my father was listening to what he had to say.

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“We should still leave this campsite soon,” Hudson said. “Any of the villagers who helped last night could turn us in. Right now I bet King John would pay a lot for Tansy’s return.” Probably true. If not to marry me, then to hang me. And he’d probably make me change the gallows to gold before he did.

Dad scooped up some hash onto his bread. “How long would it take to get to Bartimaeus’s village on horseback?” Hudson thought for a moment. “One day if we find good trails and the horses gallop for part of the trip. Two if they walk.” The Merry Men had horses. They were tied among the trees, munching foliage. Nick glanced in their direction. “Would Robin Hood let us borrow some of his horses?”

“We don’t have to make a two-day trip,” I reminded everyone. “As soon as I figure out the moral of Rumpelstiltskin, the story will be over and my fairy godmother will send us home.” Hudson sighed, giving me the kind of patient look people save for children and the delusional. He had already told my family what he thought of fairy magic. “The story probably doesn’t have a moral,” he said, “and your leprechaun pal thinks it’s hilarious that you’re racking your brain to find one.”