I looked at the ceiling and willed her to go away.

“Nope.”

She watched me silently. “Look, I wish you’d just yell at me and get it over with. Then everything could go back to being normal.”

“Sorry,” I said. Normal didn’t exist anymore. She really should have known that without me having to tell her.

“I’ve liked him all year,” she said. “I liked him even before you knew who he was. I didn’t give you the silent treatment when you started dating him.”

“That’s because I didn’t steal him from you.” 61/431

“But if you had known that I liked him, would you have dated him anyway?”

I knew Jane too well to get swept up in her theoretical situations. If I said yes I was no better than her. If I said no then she’d ask me why I couldn’t find it in my heart to be happy for her now.

Instead I smiled over at her. “Well, after you and Hunter break up, you can tell me who you want to date next and then we’ll find out.” She let out a sigh, sat there for a few more moments, then got up and left. I lay on my bed for a while longer and considered job possibilities for people who didn’t graduate from high school. I could be a waitress. At least that way I wouldn’t starve because I could eat the un-wanted scraps from people’s plates.

Which made me hungry. I went downstairs and got a Ding Dong. When I walked back into my room, I saw the thing. Since I didn’t have my contacts in, I could only tell that it was about five inches tall, mostly green, and moving across the end of my bed. A huge toad, perhaps?

A mutated rat?

I picked up a book and walked toward the thing, ready to clock it if it turned out to be rabid. As I got closer, the creature looked up at me and in a thick brogue accent said, “I hope you plan on reading that book and not 62/431

throwing it. I’d consider you tossing something at me an ugly breach of hostess etiquette.” I gasped, stopped, then leaned closer. As it came into focus, I realized it was a tiny man.

I dropped the book. My hands went to my mouth, and I had to stifle the urge to scream. Instead I let out quick breaths. “I’m having a nervous breakdown, aren’t I?” He put his hands behind his back and looked up at me. “I’m not qualified to comment on your mental health. I’m a leprechaun—not a doctor. Now, on with our business. Where is your Miss High-and-Mighty godmother?”

“What?” I asked.

“Chrysanthemum Everstar.” He scanned the room.

“She’s here, isn’t she?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He did a full turn on my bed and then let out a humph. “Aye, it’s just like her to be late. She ought to take her own advice every once in a while and that’s the truth.” He shot me a dissatisfied look. “And I know what you’re thinking—seeing a leprechaun and all—but you can’t have me gold, so don’t even ask.” That’s not what I had been thinking. I was wondering how long nervous breakdowns lasted and what else was 63/431

going to pop up in my bedroom. “Uh, did I understand you right? Are you meeting someone in my room?”

“When she gets around to it.” He walked over to my pillow and sat down in a huff. “Do you have anything to eat around here? It might be a while.” I attribute it to still being in shock, but I handed him my Ding Dong. It was nearly as big as he was. For a moment I worried that it would fall over and crush him, but he handled it well enough. He ripped the plastic, broke off a piece, and put it into his mouth. Then he nodded, smiling. “Not bad for Yankee food.” I watched him and resisted the almost overpowering urge to pick him up for a better look. I sat beside him on the bed and tilted my head down toward him. His clothes were so intricate. Tiny golden buttons lined the front of his jacket. It had a subtle pattern of dark green leaves I hadn’t noticed before.

“So who is this Chrysanthemum Everstar and why are you meeting her in my bedroom?”

“I’d tell you,” he said between mouthfuls, “but I’m just the assistant. Not supposed to overstep my bounds. A glorified errand boy, that’s what I am. Stupid Unified Magical Alliance. We never should have unionized.” He took another bite and wiped cream filling off his beard.

“Relegated to America. A fierce awful place to 64/431

be—hardly a magical creature around except for the fairies and computer gremlins.”

“Computer gremlins?” I repeated.

“And a bad-tempered lot those are. Not much for company.”

I looked over at my computer and shook my head. It was at this moment that I stopped thinking I’d lost my mind and believed him. “I knew it,” I said.

I didn’t have time to say more because just then a poof of light, like a hundred sparklers going off at once, filled my room. The next moment a life-size teenage girl decked out in a tank top, miniskirt, knee-high boots, and sunglasses stood before me. She had long cotton-candy-pink hair, which matched not only a small sequined purse on her shoulder but also her immaculate nail job.

I stood up in surprise, then blinked at her, trying to adjust my eyes after the intense light.

Without so much as a glance at me, she turned to the leprechaun. A pair of incandescent wings fluttered in agitation. “What are you doing here?”

“You said to meet here at 5:30 mortal time. I knew you’d be late so I came at six, and I still beat you here.” She put one hand on her hip. “I said to meet me at the edge of the rainbow and we’d come here together.

You’ve not only ruined our dramatic entrance”—she 65/431

glanced down at her wristwatch—“you’ve seriously cut into my shopping time with my friends.” He waved a piece of Ding Dong at her. “We’re a leprechaun and a fairy. We can’t make an entrance without it being dramatic.”

Still looking at her wristwatch she said, “I will say this much for you, you’re getting more efficient. We’re just minutes into this assignment and you’ve already made a mess of it.”

“That’s it.” The leprechaun stood up and brushed off his jacket. “I’d rather walk to Ireland than help you.”

“Fine,” she said. “It’s a long trip. You’d better get started.”

He raised his chin, took a few steps down my bedspread, then turned around, walked back to my Ding Dong, and broke off another piece. “Now I’m going.” With one last humph, he completely disappeared.

I stared at the spot on my bedspread, trying to see something—some sign that he was still there.

The fairy walked over to me. “You don’t need to worry about him. He probably just went to play poker with the computer gremlins. You know how leprechauns are.” I didn’t, but I nodded anyway.

She smiled at me. “Well, you’ve already met my ex-assistant, Clover Bloomsbottle. Did he tell you that I’m here to grant you three wishes?” 66/431

My mouth hung open for a moment. “Me? Why?” Another smile. I noticed she had perfect teeth. “Fairies have a long and rich history of helping deserving maidens. And besides, I needed an extra-credit project.” She put her hands together. “Now that I’m officially your Fair Godmother you can call me Chrissy. Chrysanthemum Everstar is much too long, don’t you think?”

“Fair

Godmother?

Don’t

you

mean

Fairy

Godmother?”

She tossed her hair off one shoulder. “No, actually I’m just a Fair Godmother.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Her wings fluttered, but she looked at her fingernails instead of me. “It means that in Fairy Godmother School my grades weren’t great, or even good. They were just, you know, fair.”

“Oh,” I said.

Her glance shot over to me. “Hey, the exams are hard.

You turn one pumpkin into an angry, bloated walrus and they never let you live it down.” I sat down on the bed. “Um, you’re not going to try and turn me into anything, are you?”

“I don’t have to,” she said, her voice sounding offended. “That all depends on what you wish for, doesn’t it?”