He exhaled deeply. “You don’t understand. I guess I shouldn’t expect you to. You’re only a sophomore.”

“Oh, now I’m immature.” I folded my arms and looked out of the window.

“You see, we haven’t even dated and we’re fighting. It would never work. I rest my case.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry,” I retorted. “I hadn’t planned on asking you to the Tolo.”

“Oh? Who were you going to ask?”

“I don’t know. It’s months away. I have to find a guy I’m going to want to avoid after we break up.”

“You’ll probably ask Bob.”

“I could stand to avoid Bob.”

Josh shifted his hands on the steering wheel. “You know, I’m the one who took Bob clothes shopping. I told him to get contacts. I made him get a decent hair cut. I even coached him on what to say to girls. Bob isn’t Bob. Bob is me.”

“Why do you care whether or not I go with Bob? You don’t want to go with me.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go with you,” he told me. “I said I shouldn’t.”

“Oh yes, you shouldn’t, but you wouldn’t say no if I asked. You’re so patronizing, Josh. Do you think I need pity dates?”

“This has nothing to do with pity. This is logic.” He pulled up in front of my house and put the car in park. “I’m leaving for college next year. And even if we did go to the same college, you wouldn’t be there for two years. You’ll be here doing high school stuff. Football games, prom—you’ll probably have a different date for every night of the week.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to have to worry about a long-distance romance.”

I took hold of the door handle. “You’ve already thought out the next two years of my life. That isn’t logic. That’s insanity.”

“You probably won’t even call me while I’m away,” he went on. “I don’t think I should go to the Tolo with you, after all.”

“I never asked you to.” I got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

I found Mom in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Our table was covered with condiments, milk jugs, and all the vegetables mom stoically brought out at dinner but that Dad and I mostly ignored.

I plunked down on one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m giving up on men. I’m sorry, but you’ll never have grandchildren.”

She dunked her rag in a bucket of water. “What happened?”

“Apparently I’m so bad at relationships, I now have guys breaking up with me who I’ve never even dated.”

She peered around the fridge door at me. “What?”

“Josh just gave me a list of reasons why he’d never go out with me.”

Mom’s eyebrows dipped together. “Were you flirting with him? Did he feel pursued?”

“No. We were talking about logic. It was out of the blue.”

Mom peeled off her rubber gloves and stood up. “Honey, I think there’s something wrong with that family. Why don’t you stop hanging around them? I’ll let you take my car to school.”

I thought about the offer. I really did. “I don’t know. I still want to talk to Elise. It’s just . . . I can’t figure out Josh. I can’t figure out guys at all.” I threw up my hands. “And to think I wanted to start dating.”

The phone rang. Mom checked the caller ID. “It’s Josh.”

I took the phone anyway. “Hello?”

“Hello, Cassidy. Look, I’m sorry about our fight. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll go with you to the Tolo.”

I waited for a moment. “Who is this?”

“Very funny. You know it’s Josh.”

“Josh who?”

“I don’t even know what day the Tolo is, but I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.”

“It’s supposed to be a girl-ask-guy thing,” I said. “I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

“Josh, I’m warning you. I’m going to buy something new to wear for this, so don’t change your mind and decide it doesn’t fit into your logical life plan. Once I go shopping, you’re committed.”

“Fine,” he replied. “Tell me what color you’re wearing, and I’ll get something to match.”

“Fine. I’ll see you at seven o’clock.”

I hung up the phone and noticed Mom staring. “Did Josh just ask you out?”

“Well, not really. He said he’d go to the Tolo with me.”

“Did you ask him out?”

“No. But we’re going now.”

She shook her head. “You know, until this moment I thought I could counsel you about teenage boys. But evidently a lot has changed since I went to high school.”

Chapter 13

I wondered if Josh would treat me differently now that we had an actual date in the works. He did. He didn’t open any doors for me or send me knowing looks. He didn’t even mention our social plans. However, he did act more distant and talked to me less. When I talked to him, he seemed preoccupied. I supposed he regretted the whole Tolo thing and didn’t want to encourage me further by acting interested or, for that matter, polite.

It was an unfair attitude, considering he was the one who’d insisted we go to the dance in the first place. At first I tried to joke around with him. I thought it would put him at ease. It didn’t. After a few days of being given this cool treatment, I ignored him in the car and talked to Elise.

The next Thursday after Josh dropped us off in the morning, Elise kept glancing at me while we walked to our lockers. “Are you and Josh fighting?” she asked.

I sighed and looked down at the books in my arms. I figured it was as good a time as any to end the facade.

“You could tell, huh?”

“What did he do?”

I smiled and she looked at me questioningly. I said, “He told me once that if we ever fought you’d be forced to choose sides. He assumed you’d choose his side.”

Elise let out a snort. “I live with him. I know how impossible he can be. Now, what did he do?”

I fiddled with the pages of my Spanish notebook. “I think he regrets going out with me. It’s like he’s embarrassed to date someone so young. He doesn’t introduce me to his friends. He won’t tell people about us. It makes me feel like a second-class citizen.”

“Men can be such pigs.”

“Then we had a fight about the Tolo. We decided we’d go, but I think he wants to get out of it. He acts so tense. He must want to break up.”

“Pigs, pigs, pigs.”

“I guess I’d better talk to him—you know, tell him if he wants to call everything off, it’s okay.”

Elise put her hand on my arm. “Will you be all right?”

“Sure. There are more fish in the sea—of course I never did like fish, but I won’t be too lonely. I have my friends, my schoolwork . . . and Bob said he’d call me sometime.”

“I can set you up with someone,” Elise said.

I shook my head. “I need time by myself.”

“That’s the last thing you need. Look, there’s a party tomorrow night at Darren Fletcher’s house. The whole football team will be there. You’d have lots of fun.”

“I can’t.”

“If you went with me, you’d feel differently. Give guys a chance to see you in an environment where you don’t have a book in front of your face. I’ll introduce you to some upperclassmen super-studs.”

“No, thanks.” She didn’t look convinced, so I added more forcefully, “I don’t need any more Carparkaphobia stories.”

* * *

I had planned on waiting until after school to talk to Josh, but I saw him at his locker while en route to algebra. I walked over to him. “You can get on with your logical dating plans now. I told Elise we’re breaking up.”

He threw one of his books into his locker. “Great. Anything else happen while I’ve been away?”

“I thought you wanted it this way.”

His gaze flashed to mine. “How come I have no say in what you tell Elise about us?”

“What did you want to say?”

He ignored my question. “Did you tell her you were dumping me for Bob?”

“No. I said you didn’t want to date someone so young.”

“Why? Did you get younger than you where when I decided to date you in the first place?”