“New sister,” she says in my ear as we rock back and forth. “New sister.”

“It’s nice to see you again,” I try to say, but my voice is muffled against Lizzy’s chest. I can’t see Sylas to know what his reaction is.

“Hey, Lizzy, how about you let your new sister breathe, okay?” Lizzy lets go, but grabs my hand and then Sylas’ and hauls us both into the room. She’s a wiry thing, but she’s stronger than she looks.

Sylas and I almost crash into each other so we don’t lose our balance.

“Whoa, be careful, Lizzy,” he says, but she just keeps dragging us across the room to her bed.

“Sit,” she commands me and I look at Sylas warily.

“What are you up to, Sister?” he asks as I sit on the bed. Sylas sits next to me and he’s definitely a little on edge.

Lizzy sighs as if we’re being dumb on purpose.

“I want to give you your presents.” The “duh” is left unsaid.

“Presents?” I ask.

Lizzy skips over to her dresser and pulls open the top drawer, fiddles around under her socks and then comes out with two items wrapped in tissue paper.

I take the one wrapped in red and Sylas takes the one wrapped in blue.

“Should we open them?” I ask.

“Uh-huh,” she says, and she’s so excited, she’s bouncing on her heels. I share one more look with Sylas and then we both open our presents. I have no idea what this could be. I just didn’t expect this. I feel like a jerk for not bringing her something. I should have brought her something.

“Oh,” I say when I get the paper off. A hand-painted picture frame is revealed, with a drawing in it that is clearly of me. She got the red hair and the green eyes perfect. Sylas’ is also a drawing, but of him this time. He’s smiling bigger than he probably ever has in his life, but other than that, it’s definitely him. She even got some of the tattoos on his arm.

Sylas looks up at Lizzy and gives her a hug. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like an intruder, which was my worst fear when I agreed to come.

“Thank you so much, Lizzy. It’s beautiful. I’m going to put it right on the wall in my new apartment.” He kisses her forehead and she hugs him hard.

“Love you, Brother.”

“Love you, Sister.”

“I’ll eat you up, I love you so,” she says to him and I have to look down to hide the tears in my eyes. They just love each other so much. I run my finger around the edge of the frame and wonder just how I got here, to this point in my life. All the twists and turns that somehow brought me to this room with a half-sister I never knew existed and in love with her brother.

“Are you okay?” Sylas asks, and I look up.

“Yeah,” I say, using one hand to brush the tears off my face. “Thank you, Lizzy. Thank you.”

Lizzy doesn’t say anything, just sits next to me on the bed and holds my face. It’s very intense, but I don’t move. I stare into her wide blue eyes and find so much in them. Her thumbs brush away my tears and then she leans forward, putting her forehead against mine.

“You’re welcome, my new sister.” I’m completely and utterly stunned.

“I always wanted a sister,” I whisper.

“Me too,” Lizzy says and then she smiles. I can’t help but smile with her and then we start laughing, our voices mingling together and sounding eerily similar.

Lizzy takes me on a tour of the Center, and won’t let go of my arm as she introduces me to everyone. She’s so happy and it’s infectious. My apprehension is gone and I don’t remember the last time I felt this light. Sylas walks behind us, giving us space, but I can feel him watching the two of us. I want to ask him what he thinks, what’s going on in his head, but we have the whole drive back for that. Right now I’m all about my new sister.

It turns out we love a lot of the same books. Sylas even bought her a bunch of the Harry Potter books after I told him to read them. The gesture makes me smile. I can’t seem to stop smiling. My cheeks hurt.

Lizzy doesn’t ask about “the man” as she calls our dad, but she is wearing the charm bracelet he sent her. I’ve got mine on and they clink together as we hold hands.

By the time we need to leave, I’ve promised to video chat with her at least once a week, and I’ve promised to come back next week and every week after that, forever. It’s impossible to say no to Lizzy.

“Sisters forever,” Lizzy says as she gives me a hug goodbye.

“Sisters forever,” I repeat.

The minute the car door shuts and Sylas starts driving, I break down. Just absolutely lose it. The sobs overtake my body and I’m making this awful sound. Sylas slows the car and pulls over to the side of the road.

And then his arms are around me and he’s whispering nonsense in my ear and all I want is for him to hold me like this forever. His arms are warm and strong around me and I hold onto him so I don’t fly away.

I don’t even know why I’m crying.

Finally my shaking subsides and I can breathe normally. Peeling my head off his tear-soaked chest, I look up into his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks, smoothing my hair back. I must be an absolute mess.

I can’t seem to find any words to say but two.

“Kiss me.”

His jaw tightens and he seems to think it over before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine.

His taste mingles with the salt from my tears and I hold onto his face, desperate. I’m just so scared of losing him. Of him leaving my life.

Little sounds of desperation escape my mouth as we kiss, but he’s holding back. Keeping himself safe. I don’t blame him, but oh, I want him. I want him the way we used to be. Before we both fucked everything up. I guess we were really fucked up to begin with. We never would have met if it weren’t for Lizzy. Who knew something like this would come out of one night of my father and their mother.

I bite onto his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, but he doesn’t break the kiss. The coppery taste is heavy on my tongue and I pull back.

I want to tell him I love him. Tell him that it wasn’t a lie when I said it. Tell him that I wish I could take it all back. Hit Rewind and erase all the lies and the deceptions.

“Thank you for bringing me,” I say instead as a tiny drop of blood wells on his bottom lip. He licks it away and lets me go.

“You’re welcome.”

The ride back is entirely silent, except for the radio. Sylas can’t seem to choose a station and it’s annoying. I want to reach out and stop his hand from pushing buttons and turning the dial and messing with the bass and volume.

He only stops doing it when we pull up in front of my apartment.

“Thank you again,” I say. Things are so awkward between us and I hate it. I could kiss him again, but that’s not going to solve anything. We could fuck each other over and over and it wouldn’t solve anything. It’s going to take more than our physical chemistry to get us past this point and talking again.

“Do you want to come in?” I ask, hating the way my voice sounds. Tentative and a little whiny. I hate feeling this way with him. I want to be confident and in-control again.

He starts to shake his head, but then turns and looks at me. His bottom lip is still red.

“Just to talk,” he says. “Nothing else.” He’s also a shadow of his former self. The man who said he wanted to fuck me on our first date is gone and I’m left with this stone-faced, quiet person I don’t know how to handle.

“Yeah, sure. Just to talk,” I echo and we both get out.

Eight

He sits on the couch and I get us both glasses of water. I briefly consider grabbing some alcohol, but that probably isn’t the best idea. If we drink, we’re going to get naked. It’s inevitable.