“Where’s Sylas today?” he asks.
“Are you serious? You’re trying to be my dad now?”
He grimaces and then rubs his face.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Saige. I just want things to go back to the way they were.” I slam my glass of water down on the coffee table so hard I think it’s going to break, but it doesn’t.
“We can’t! We can only go forward. Fucking hell, I can’t deal with this anymore.” I want to run away from him like a kid throwing a tantrum, but this is my apartment and I’m a grown-ass woman.
“I’m not going to lose everything I’ve worked for,” he says calmly and that pisses me off more.
“Then I don’t think I can be your daughter anymore. I’m done.” I walk to the door and hold it open.
“Saige,” he says, pleading.
“No. Get out. Get out of my house.” I motion with my arm and I’m so upset, I’m shaking.
“I wish things could be different,” he says as he gets up. I expect him to beg, to tell me that he’s changed his mind, but that’s not what he does. He gets up and walks out.
I close the door behind him and fall to the floor. Of all the things I ever thought would happen, I never thought I would lose him. The man I used to love more than anything.
But he doesn’t love me more than anything. He loves his work and that’s what hurts the most.
Twenty-Three
Sylas finds me on the floor. I’ve been trying to get up for hours, but it’s not working. I did move to a sitting position, but I just can’t get up.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, pulling me up. “What happened? Why didn’t you call me?” Because my phone was on the coffee table and I couldn’t make it that far. I actually fell asleep on the floor and slept for a while in the fetal position.
“Dad was here,” I say. Even my voice hurts.
“What did he say?” He picks me up in his arms and carries me to the couch, cradling me like a child. I feel like a child right now. A scared little child that just lost her daddy.
“He picked the job and I said I didn’t want him in my life anymore. And he left.” My voice sounds like it belongs to someone else. Someone who isn’t me. I don’t understand what my life is anymore. How in the hell did I get here?
“Oh, Saige, I’m so sorry. I never thought he would do something like that to you. I can’t believe it.” Me neither.
“It hurts so much, Sylas,” I say. I can’t even stop the words from coming out of my mouth.
“Shhh, you don’t have to talk about it right now.” I let myself hold onto him as he tells me about his day with Lizzy and strokes my hair.
“How about we take a bath?” he asks and I nod. He carries me into the bathroom and sits me on the toilet while he draws a bath and pours in some bubbles. When the bath is full, he helps me get undressed. I think he’s going to leave me in the tub by myself, but then he strips and joins me, moving so I’m lying against his chest.
“Just relax and think about something nice.” I close my eyes and think of that night when Sylas and I walked along the beach. I was so enthralled with him. I think that was one of the first times when I knew that I loved him.
“That’s my girl,” he says and his voice rumbles against my back. The water swirls as he strokes my arm up and down. The bubble bath smells like roses and I feel myself getting drowsy.
Sylas starts humming and I know exactly what song it is. “Take Me to Church” again. I definitely think that it’s our song now. Odd song for a couple, but we’re not the traditional couple.
He finishes the song and I feel him messing with my hair.
“Are you braiding my hair?” I ask, opening my eyes and looking over my shoulder at him.
“Maybe. I learned how to do Lizzy’s. My mother always did it and I had to learn after she was gone. I used to cut her hair for her as well. I learned how to do a lot of things.” I look and he has braided my hair. Very well.
“I should enlist you to help me get ready in the morning. Why have you been hiding this skill from me for this long?” I say.
“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t think about it.” He lays the finished braid over my shoulder. The ends float in the water, swirling around.
“Do you want to move in with me?” I say and he just starts laughing.
“Aren’t we already living together? Isn’t that what this is?” Technically, yes.
“We are, but I want to make it official. And I know you still have things at your other place. We don’t have to live here. We could get a place together.” I hadn’t thought of that before. I really like my apartment, but it’s not really a couple’s apartment. There’s no space for Sylas to put any of his things, not that he’s asked.
He puts his hand under my chin and turns my head. I move around so I’m facing him, propping myself up on his stomach.
“You want to move?” he asks.
“Not really, but this is my apartment, not ours.” He studies my face.
“It’s okay. I don’t have that much stuff.”
“What about your coffee table? And the pictures of your mother?” He stiffens.
“How do you know about my coffee table?”
I bite my lip.
“Because I broke into your apartment a few times?” I say tentatively. Instead of him being angry, he just gives me a wry smile and rolls his eyes.
“Of course you did. I shouldn’t be surprised at all.”
“Just as I’m not surprised you’ve broken in here,” I say. He leans down and plants a kiss on my lips.
“I would love to move in with you, Saige. We don’t have to decide where right now. Let’s just get through this next week and see where we stand, okay?” I agree and go back to lying on his chest on my back.
“I think I want to go to school,” he says.
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it and I want to do something else. Like you are. This is all I’ve known for six years and I don’t have the passion that I used to. I thought that when I was working on you, that the passion was back, but I mistook passion for you for desire to work again. Now that things have changed, I want to try something else.” He’s smart as a whip and I know he can do whatever he wants.
“Do you know what kind of classes you want to take?” I ask. He shifts so he’s leaning back farther, bring me with him. Some of the water sloshes over the edge of the tub.
“I’m not sure. Maybe you could help me pick?”
“I’d love to. This is the perfect time because you could sign up now and then go for the fall semester.” This is making me excited. I imagine the two of us going to campus together, studying together. I really like the idea.
“Maybe. I’m still not sure yet.” I don’t know why he’s going back on it when he just seemed so excited, but I’m far too exhausted to worry about it.
The water starts to get cold and I tell Sylas I want to get out. He gets up first and then helps me. I get wrapped in a towel and then he lays me in bed.
I hope I’m not going to have nightmares tonight, but I probably will. It seems inevitable at this point.
“Good dreams. You’re only going to have good dreams,” he whispers in my ear as I try to relax and go to sleep. “Only good dreams.”
Sylas doesn’t have magical good dream giving powers and I wake a few hours later. My hair is still wet.
“Blood,” I gasp. “There’s blood.”
“Whose blood?” Sylas says.
“I don’t know,” I sob. I feel sick and have to run to the bathroom to throw up. Sylas rushes after me and holds my hair back. My stomach finally stops heaving and I sit back, resting against him.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.” He moves me until I’m resting up against the wall as he goes to get a cool washcloth for my face.
“Thanks,” I say. I’m embarrassed, but there’s nothing I can do about it.