“She won’t let me pierce her ears,” grumbled Liz as I jumped off the bed.
Meghan stared at her. “Seriously? You want to stick a needle through her earlobes?”
“See?” I said to Liz.
“You’ve got pierced ears,” Liz pointed out to Meghan.
Meghan fingered one of her dangly gold hoops. “Well, yeah, but I got them done at a shop. But, hey, what about shoes?” she added brightly. “Do you want to borrow a pair? I’ve got the perfect ones!” She darted out of the room, her rich hair glinting like autumn.
Liz laughed. “No one does ‘enthusiasm’ better than Meghan.”
“How come I’m the only one down here who doesn’t have a dressy wardrobe?” I said, gazing after her.
“The rest of us got our priorities right, that’s all.”
Meghan reappeared with a pair of shiny high-heeled shoes and crouched down gracefully on her long legs. “Oh, good – looks like we’re the same size.” As she began angling one of the shoes onto my bare foot, I started to protest, then just let her do it – it would have been like trying to halt a force of nature. Besides, I was too busy drinking in the shoes. They were a deep wine colour and almost old-fashioned: a chunky heel and rounded toe; a big button perched on the strap. But somehow they looked just…
“Amazing,” said Liz. “Meghan, you’re a genius.”
I turned my ankle this way and that. The shoes gleamed like fresh paint. “These are just…absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much.”
Meghan sank back on her heels, regarding my feet with a small, wistful smile. “I love these shoes,” she said. “I always think they bring me luck.” She glanced up with a sudden grin. “And you’re going to be the birthday girl, so you get extra luck. That’s the rule. Anyway, I got distracted,” she went on, jumping to her feet. “What I came in here for was to ask if you’ve got iPods. I’m going to make a playlist for the party.”
Officially, the upcoming party next week was to celebrate Alex’s and my birthdays – I’d be turning eighteen, and he’d be nineteen. But really, it was just to give people a chance to let off steam and relax. After months of intense training, everyone was more than ready to.
I shook my head. “Sorry, I was still playing CDs back in Pawntucket.”
“I’ve got one,” said Liz. “Wait, I think I left it in the kitchen. Back in a sec.”
After Liz had gone, a silence stretched out between Meghan and me. I glanced at Liz’s clock. I needed to go talk to Seb soon, but it seemed rude to just leave Meghan there. Turning to her, I started to make some comment about the party – and caught her giving me a sideways glance, lips pursed.
“What?” I said in surprise.
Her milky skin flushed. “Sorry. It’s just that – I mean…you’re half-angel, aren’t you?”
She blurted the words out, and I blinked. Meghan knew I was half-angel. Everyone in the base knew, because Seb and I used our angels to help train people.
Before I could respond, Meghan shook her head. “God, don’t even answer that. I just wanted to know…well…what’s it like?” Her voice was soft, hesitant.
Strangely enough, in all our time here, no one had ever asked me that. I sank down onto Liz’s bed as I tried to gather my thoughts.
“I don’t know,” I said finally. “I only found out a year ago, so it’s still pretty new to me. A lot of times, even now, I’m not really conscious of my angel; I just feel human. And then other times, I’m so completely aware of this other self inside me.”
Meghan had lowered herself into Liz’s desk chair, listening intently. She glanced down, trailing her finger back and forth across the desk. “Do you think – do you think maybe it’s because you didn’t know what you were for so long that you’re with Alex now? I mean, Alex is gorgeous, and he’s a great guy,” she added hastily. “But if you’d known that you were half-angel all your life, then…well, do you think you could ever fall in love with a human?”
Suddenly it was all too clear what this was about. “I can’t really answer that,” I said slowly. “I mean, I can only look at it from my own experience.”
Meghan nodded, her blue eyes disappointed. “Okay,” she said after a pause. “Thanks. I was just curious.”
All at once her emotions swept over me. Usually I had to hold someone’s hand to get something, but this was so strong – an aching sweetness that caught at my throat. This isn’t just a crush, I thought in a daze. She’s really in love with Seb.
I swallowed, shaken by the depth of her feelings – and wondered if I should warn her against caring so strongly for Seb, who’d always been adamant that he could never get seriously involved with a human girl. But Seb had to already know how she felt; he could read auras like other people read comic books. He’d be careful not to hurt her.
Even so, I couldn’t help saying, “Um, Meghan – listen, I’m not sure if—”
I didn’t know whether I was disappointed or relieved when Liz came back just then – I’d had no idea how I was planning on finishing that sentence.
“Here you go.” Liz handed Meghan the iPod. “I think Sam’s got one too.”
Meghan had been watching me with a slight frown; coming back to herself, she took the iPod and fiddled with its dial. She brightened. “Ooh, good, lots of indie stuff. There’s not much point in asking Sam Houston, though, is there? I bet he’s got both kinds of music – country and western.”
Liz grinned. “I think they sometimes listen to classic rock in Texas too.”
“A night of the Eagles and Chicago? Willow and Alex would never forgive me. Okay, laters, gators,” said Meghan, tucking the iPod in her jeans pocket. She glanced at me. “And, Willow – thanks,” she added in an undertone.
For what? I had a feeling that I hadn’t exactly succeeded in warning her away from Seb. I made a mental note to get her alone sometime soon and try again. “Thank you for the shoes,” I replied.
“Hey, I want those back, you know,” she said, laughing. “Your present is that you get to borrow them.”
2
THAT NIGHT I LAY IN bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling, while Alex sat at our desk, working on his laptop. The strange moment of fear from that afternoon hadn’t come back, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. For something that had only lasted a second, it had been so incredibly intense.
When I’d asked Seb whether he’d also felt it, he’d said no – and I’d sensed his concern for me, along with his flash of irritation at himself for feeling it. I’d wanted to mention Meghan too, but it had felt pretty impossible. The days when Seb and I talked about anything and everything were gone.
Pushing my problems with Seb aside, I frowned as I thought again about that icy dread. Had it been a fast-forward to the attack, or something else? My psychic senses were usually pretty reliable – if I’d had a feeling, then something was probably going on.
“You’re still worrying about this, aren’t you?” Alex said, glancing over at me. We’d discussed it and agreed I should try to forget about the feeling unless I got something more specific.
“I can’t help it,” I admitted. “I just wish I could figure out what it meant.”
There was a click as Alex shut his laptop. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here and go for a walk.”
“A what?” I blinked as Alex grabbed his jeans and pulled them on over his boxers. The tattoo on his left bicep flexed: an AK in black gothic letters. “But it must be—” I glanced at the clock. “Alex, it’s after midnight!”
“Yeah?” He scooped up my jeans from the floor. “Perfect – there’s a full moon tonight; it’ll have risen by now.” He dropped onto the mattress on his knees. “Come on, time to get dressed.”
“Alex—” I broke off as I started to laugh. He was crouched on the edge of the bed manoeuvring my feet into the jeans, his expression intent as the muscles of his chest and shoulders moved.