“Noah?” His gaze flicks to mine. The raw love in them pulls every square inch of air out of my lungs. “Show me.”

At this close a distance the rumble in his chest vibrates my entire body with his growl of frustration.

I continue to push. He admitted he loves me, so any fear of rejection evaporates. “Are you going to take what’s yours?”

His self-restraint snaps. The man I know and love surfaces from beneath the weight he buried himself under. The darkness in his eyes burns away and leaves a fiery hazel gleaming at me. His large hands grasp at my shoulders then trail my collarbone until his thumbs caress the base of my neck. One hand moves to my nape, the other splays lightly across my throat high enough for his thumb to rub the seam of my lips.

His eyes plead with me when he speaks. “Walk away.” His gruff voice breaks a little.

“Never.” My reply is determined, even though my body has turned liquid under his touch. I’ll never leave him again.

“I only have so much self-control, angel. To cut you out of my life wasn’t an easy task. I couldn’t do it. To resist you now when you’re here offering yourself to me?” He pins me with his smouldering gaze. “That takes strength I don’t have. I’m begging you one last time, walk away while you have the chance.”

I stare into his beautiful eyes and shake my head, long and slow. I’m not going anywhere. And I find myself unable to speak, even if I wanted to.

He releases my neck and dips his body. His large hands engulf my bottom, lifting me up and against him. I wrap my legs around him and entwine my arms around the back of his neck. His head drops into the hollow of my neck and he presses me against him. With my legs firmly wrapped around him, he wraps one arm tight and secure around my waist, the other presses against my back, holding me like I’m his lifeline. Every muscled inch of him melded against me as if to bind us together for an eternity.

“You belong with me.” His lips brush my skin as he speaks, enflaming the near out-of-control forest fire to blaze through my body. Even in his desperation Noah’s dominance undoes me. Once he’s released his demons, he doesn’t ask, he claims.

“I need to know this is it, Noah. You can’t turn you back on me every time you think you’re doing what’s best.”

“I can’t change who I am. I can’t change my past.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can be the man you need me to be.”

“You already are.”

He gives a gentle push on my shoulders so I can see his face. “We need to talk.”

“There’s all the time in the world to talk.”

“No. We need to talk before I let myself inside you. I need to know we are on the same page. And when I take you—” He glances around, a small smile quirking on his lips. “It won’t be in my fucking workshop.”

“What’s wrong with here?” I smile at him.

“For all the things I want to do to you, angel, you’ll need a little more comfort.”

I grumble as he releases me. The sound of his deep laughter is a welcome sound. I pick up my shirt and pull it back on.

“So, Mr. Hamilton, what would you like to talk about?”

“You.” He blows out a breath. “Have you seen a counsellor?”

“I—”

“You need to see a counsellor. What you went through…” He rubs his fingers through the increased amount of hair on his head. “I can’t come home until I know you are okay.”

“What?” I’m stunned. I thought once I got through his thick skull we’re better as a family that would be it. I never imagined having to wait.

“Lizzie, please. Trauma’s an ugly thing; it can play awful tricks on your mind. I’m sure you know already, so please, for the love of God, deal with it.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you are. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, but being with me, me coming home, may be too much for you.”

“Have you seen one?”

“Where do you think I just came from? I haven’t left this building in weeks and I knew it was time.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. ‘Oh.’ So get that pretty little arse of yours sorted, and then we’ll see about us. I’ll come with you, I’ll do anything you want me to, except come home.”

“Will you make love to me?”

He scrubs the almost beard with his left hand. “You’re really not playing fair, are you?”

I flutter my eyelashes at him in a playful manner. “A girl has needs you know.”

“Well, I can assure you this girl’s needs will be fully realised when she gets the all-clear from her counsellor.” He has a faint smile on his lips but his tone is deadly serious.

“For your information, I’ve been talking to a therapist.”

The hazel in his eyes ignites. He shifts on his feet and thrusts his hands into the pockets of his worn-out jeans. “Okay… So when the therapist tells you it’s okay for me to be inside you, that being with me won’t traumatise you, then you can have me.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Noah.” I know I’m pouting like a petulant child, but I’m unable to believe he actually won’t put his hands on me.

“Fuck, Lizzie. This is killing me. I need to feel you around me, have your hands on my body. To taste you. But I won’t fucking do it at the expense of your sanity.”

“What about you? Do we have to wait until your guy says you have the all-clear?”

He moves his gaze from me to the ceiling. “I needed to be debriefed. That’s all.”

“But what about what you went through?”

He removes his hands from his pockets and rubs both of them over his head then down his face. When his gaze finds mine, the worry creased around his eyes has me holding my breath waiting for him to answer. “It was my job.” He sighs then mutters, “Something else we need to talk about.”

“So what about how you have behaved since this happened? That can’t be normal.”

“What’s normal?”

When I glare at him he relents, and pulls me close against him.

“That, angel, was my heart splintered into a million fucking shards. That was me wanting you and Kai so badly, but knowing you were better off without me. That was me…”

His chest rises as he takes a deep breath. He trails a hand down my cheek and his gaze holds mine with such intensity, such honesty, I’m afraid of what comes next.

“Without you,” he finishes.

Yet again, he renders me speechless with only words. His touch I expect it from, but his words compete with his hands.

“Is this what it was like for you the last time?”

The small circles he was rubbing on my lower back stop. “Last time was worse.” He pulls away. “Come on, let’s go into the office. I think we need to talk about this, but not out here in the open.”

I follow him in and sit in the visitor’s chair just like at our initial meeting. When my eyes settle on his face, it’s still set hard, but the fire burns behind the shutters to his soul. He taps his fingers on the desk three times before sitting down.

“I hate you being so far away from me.” He gives me a lazy smile. “I hated it then, too. The first feelings I had for you were protective. I wanted to kill the fucker who took the light from your eyes. Then when you started interviewing me, the storm returned. And fuck me, you on my bike had them raging brighter than ever.” He releases a low breath.

“I can assure you, it wasn’t your bike.”

“Yeah?” He gives a short burst of laughter. “Awesome.”

“Are you okay to tell me about before now?”

He shifts in his seat. “Can I have your hands?”

I willingly place my hands in his. I need the contact with him as much as he needs it with me. The hard calluses on his thumbs, so familiar, rub over my skin.

“How was last time worse?” I know I’m pushing him, but I need to understand his side. I want to hear it from him.

“Sounds fucked up, doesn’t it? Well, so was I.” He takes another deep breath and his brows furrow. “I’d spent years avoiding any form of relationship. You know that. I dealt with loss, I’d dealt with fear, anger, desire, and other shit, but I hadn’t dealt with love, jealousy, or rejection before. At least not the kind I had with you. I may have been a grown man, but in those emotions I was just out of preschool.” A warm smile crosses his face from hearing my laughter.