My mind fights images of how I should be asking this, on bended knee, ring in hand, heart on my sleeve. But I can’t take back asking her now, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to save it for some faked-up romantic bullshit. And I can’t wear my heart on my sleeve even if I wanted to because I don’t have it, she does. I need her to be my wife. Now.

“Will you please marry me?”

Tears well in her eyes, and I hold my breath.

“Yes.”

Yes? I take her face in my hands and lean up towards her. My mouth hovers six inches from hers and my abs burn.

“Say it again.” I croak the words out, my voice strangled by the emotion overwhelming me, keeping my gaze fixed on her lips.

“Yes.”

I watched her lips form the word. I heard her whisper it. And I can feel the smile on her face through my hands as my thumbs rub across her lips.

It’s real.

With the wind knocked out of me, and no words to speak, I do the only thing I can. The only thing I’ve ever done where she’s concerned. Show her with my body what she means to me.

“Hellloooooooo. Anybody home?”

What the fuck?

We jump up like we’ve been shot in the arse, quickly grabbing clothes and trying to get them on. I try to fight my cock back into my jeans and get the buttons done up. Greedy bastard. Lizzie pulls up her sweats, adjusts her vest, and sits back on the sofa, book in her lap, looking like she’s been there all day. Apart from the flush on her face, nothing seems out of place. I, on the other hand, have a raging hard-on, my chest heaves, and I don’t know what to do with myself.

I thrust my hands in my pockets just as Kai bounds into the room, followed by Spud, Cait, and my niece, Baby Em, in Cait’s arms. Lizzie heads straight for the baby, and Kai launches himself at me. Because I’m caught off guard, his weight takes us both tumbling to the floor in a ball of laughter. In the background, I can hear everyone else chatting and laughing.

“Hi, Daddy.” His little face beams at me.

“Hey, buddy. How was your day?”

“I saw a graph.”

Graph? What the hell’s a graph? My mind scrambles to put a meaning to the word.

“Great! Did it have… er… legs?”

“Yes. Long, wob-bly legs.”

I spin him around on my chest and sit us both up. He gets up off my lap.

“So it was a baby giraffe?”

He looks at me like I’m stupid. A stern expression graces his face and little hands are placed on his hips. “Yes, Daddy.”

“That’s great.” I give him my best impressed smile and get to my feet. “Have you given Mummy a cuddle?”

He shakes his head and turns to Lizzie. I glance at her to see her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, the baby in her arms. Fuck, she’s stunning.

She still finds it emotional to see us together. In a way, I’m glad. It helps to keep this all real for me. And it’s a pleasure to see her this happy. She went through hell keeping him away, and from how things went down, she was right to do so.

Kai climbs carefully onto her lap, and our gazes meet. It’s at times like this I forget other people exist. The only things that matter in my world are sat in front of me. Lizzie nods her head towards something. I turn to find Spud and Cait grinning like a pair of idiots at me.

“Need us to leave?” Cait asks.

“No, actually we have some news.” I shoot Lizzie a nervous glance, but she just gives me one of her reassuring smiles.

“Okay.” Cait looks suspicious, but Spud has that shit-eating grin on his face again. “Come on then.”

“I asked Lizzie to marry me.”

The squeal from my sister could shatter glass. Baby Em starts to wail, and Kai clings to Lizzie like the world’s going to end as the rest of us laugh.

“I knew you had it in you.” Cait launches herself at me, wrapping her arms tight around me. After a few neck-crushing seconds, she releases me and runs over to Lizzie, talking a mile a minute.

I glance at Spud; his usual grin has settled into a more reserved one. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards him. We back slap and then he ruffles my hair. Twat.

“Look at you all grown up.” He smirks at me.

I give his sarcasm a cursory laugh. “Yeah, who would have thought, eh?”

“Seriously, mate. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” I feel like I’ve won the crown jewels.

“Um, I know you may not want to think about this yet, but you’re going to need a best man.”

My gut twinges and I look away from him. “Not if we elope, I don’t.”

“Like your sister is going to allow that.”

I glance over at the girls. Excitement is written all over their faces as they discuss dresses and other wedding type shit. I’d never want to take this away from them. My gaze hones in Lizzie.

From her I’d never want to take away a thing.

“Look, man. You’ve got to sort it sometime. You know I’d do it. I’d be honoured. But it isn’t me who should hold that role. Until all that shit went down you two always had each other’s backs.” He’s talking about Bear.

“Yeah, well, that was before he lied to me.”

“You know he thought he was doing the right thing. If you’d been him what would you have done?”

“I would’ve fucking told me.”

“Yeah. Right. ‘Course you would.”

I’ve been thinking about this for the last few months. At first my anger wouldn’t allow me to consider Bear had done the right thing. But now I’m realising that put in the same position, with the same goal, I would have done the same. And I’ve learnt from Lizzie that he didn’t know about Kai.

I also know that Layla and Bear come around to see both Lizzie and Kai when I’m not home. Same with Zan. She has to revolve that around me. It’s unfair to her. And she’s tried hard to convince me to forgive him, them. It’s time to put my family right.

I swallow hard before I respond. “Okay, I’ll call him.”

Spud does a double take. “You will?”

I stride over to where my phone is and pick it up, waving it at him. “Yeah.”

Walking out of the room and into the kitchen, I sit down on the table and rest my feet on one of the chairs. I rotate the phone in my hands before staring at the screen. The sound of Lizzie’s laughter floats in from the lounge, and it’s all I need to spur me on.

I scan through my contacts and find his name, then press the call button. The dial tone begins as I’m still staring at the phone, then I raise it to my ear.

“Hello?” The question in his tone says it all. He thinks something’s wrong for me to be calling him.

I take a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

“Oh, right. And what do we need to talk about?” He’s challenging me, and I don’t blame him. If it were me, I’d do the same.

“A lot of fucking things, Bear.” I suck down my pride. “But the main one… there’s a wedding coming up, which you’re going to have to show up to.”

“Yeah?” I can hear the humour in his voice.

“Yeah. So, are you ready to sort this shit out?”

“Mate, I’ve been ready for months. But I couldn’t hold a conversation with myself.”

It’s a fair dig. “Can you meet me and Spud at Macy’s in—” I glance at the clock on the oven. “Half an hour?”

“Yes, mate.”

“Okay, bring Zan if you can.”

“Done.”

I hang up. The weight I’ve carried in my heart since the incident lifts as I stare at the phone in my hands. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I’ve missed him.

Spud’s leaning against the doorframe as I return. “Everything okay?”

“It will be.”

He nods and lets me past him. Kai’s playing on the floor near the TV and Baby Em’s back in Cait’s arms. I walk over to Lizzie and pull her up off the couch and into my arms.

“I’m going out for a while.” I pull her tighter against me, and turn to my sister. “Can I borrow Spud?”

“You can keep him if you like.” She laughs and sticks her tongue out at Spud.