Additionally, I would hit these points in your chapter for setup purposes...Mortimer is missing now in the hospital. You might mention Lanz seeing Randall limping off into the hospital carrying a chainsaw (love this image). Joe's Jenny chapter and Jeff's Randall chapter, which directly follow this one, can deal with Jenny trying to stop Randall but by God he's gonna take care of this. An important moment b/c they'll be separated and trying to get back together I would think. I would end this chapter with Lanz turning and maybe noticing others turning. One character we should keep track of is Shanna. Perhaps Lanz, still fighting the change in himself, scares her and she takes off. And if you could have Lanz send Winslow off to the morgue to make sure the dead were properly stowed away, that will set up my next chapter. Can't wait to read this!
I'll start outlining the outbreak chapter to send around.
Blake
August 18, 2010
Spitballing here:
Is Mort going to be the alpha dracula, with some influence over the others? If so, Lanz, with his ego, might want to challenge that after things get rolling. (After all, it's my hospital.) Might be a good plot complication - everything's going the draculas' way when there's an attempted coup.
Paul
* * *
I like Lanz trying to become alpha dracula, but let's remember these things are feral with only rudimentary thought processes--think Matheson's Born of Man and Woman, but not as smart.
I just did a minor polish on what we have so far, tweaking and fixing some repetitive words. I'm meeting with Jeff tonight to talk about our characters' interactions.
I don't think this will take as much coordination as Blake does. As long as the major beats are down (when the cops come, when the electricity goes out, etc.) we should be able to write four relatively self-contained stories.
Mine will be Jenny the nurse searching for her ex-husband, Randy, and trying to save as many survivors as possible. She'll start with the pediatric wing. Her nemesis is Oasis, the girl.
Paul is writing for Clayton, Shanna, and Lanz. Clayton's goals will be to find Shanna, and kill as many draculas as possible. This is the end-of-the-world scenario he's been preparing for since his dad built a bomb shelter and taught him about survival.
Blake is doing the pregnant couple, in the maternity ward. It would make sense that Moorecook wants to make a dracula army, but babies wouldn't really play a part in that. So he and his brood would use infants for food. I'd guess that Blake's heroes would try to prevent that.
Jeff's lumberjack, Randall, will be searching for Jenny. Perhaps a side quest will have him trying to turn the electricity back on--he's a handyman-type. He'll eventually have a confrontation with Clayton, which should be an important scene because if either of them spill any blood during their tussle, the draculas will sniff them out.
I'm thinking 15k words each. We could conceivably finish our sections by the end of the month, then string it together. Remember to write in your own named files, not in the DRACULAS 1.3 file.
This is going to be fun. And let's pile on the Gran Guignol. This is the anti-Twilight, and a chance to really let loose our inner gorehounds.
Joe
* * *
Paul -- I was going to say pretty much what Joe said--let's try it but make sure we keep these draculas on a single-minded, low-functioning level. Mort is the head dracula, since he was bitten by the original skull and as a result will undergo some interesting changes the more yummy blood he gulps down. But let's see where the power struggle takes us. I'll keep an eye on Lanz' progression through the hospital as you write him and we'll have our draculas collide.
Blake
* * *
As I said, just spitballing - if it don't stick to the wall, we leave in on the floor.
Paul
* * *
All - I just dropped the morgue scene in chapter 7 into the box. I was thinking that chapter could handle Winslow's pov, along with all our draculas on the loose, so feel free to add Oasis, Lanz, and Benny the Clown pov's into that word doc.
Blake
August 19, 2010
As I'm writing I find I need basic info -- like where we are and last names. (unless I missed something.)
Where IS Blessed Crucifixion?
I gave Jenny "Bolton" as a placeholder surname. I'd guess Randall's is the same.
Kurt Lanz
Clay Theel
Mortimer Moorecook
Nurse Winslow
what about Shanna?
Paul
* * *
Sorry...that went out prematurely. I spotted Durango in chapter 1 (long time since I read it). But people often refer to each other by last names, so...
Paul
* * *
Paul, effin' loved your scene. Black humor, great characters, A few quick suggestions.
1. Can the paramedic also say, "I need a tetnus shot. And rabies. And antiserum. You see that goddamn guy? Fucking give me every shot you've got."
2. Jenny tells him "I'm waiting for my ex-husband." Randall is coming back with a chainsaw, to escort Jenny to the pediatrics ward to protect the kids. That is going to be Randy and Jen's story arc--barricading themselves in the children's wing--and I think Jen should think of it almost immediately. Maybe she should insist to Lanz to evacuate the hospital, and he says something like, "Evacuate where? We're in the middle of Bumblefuck, Hickville. I'm supposed to march 234 patients out into the woods?"
That gives us a patient number, reinforces that they can't get away, and tells Lanz where Jenny will be when he becomes a dracula and decided to eject her himself.
Joe
* * *
And just to clarify:
No one writes or edits or corrects anyone else's section without specific permission from the writer. We'll all do a final edit when we put this together. But for the first few drafts, let's all make suggestions, but no rewriting.
And when you do a second draft, save it numerically. Paul 1.0, Paul 1.1, Paul 1.2, etc. Get used to doing a new draft every time you make a change or an addition. We'll all be reading each other, and may need to go back to earlier drafts and lift stuff from them. Keeping the drafts separate will make it easier.
Joe
* * *
I should be able to fling my first chapter into the dropbox sometime tomorrow, with another one by Sunday. Thus far, I've had a lot of fun justifying the preposterous idea that Randall is actually going to limp out of the hospital to get a chainsaw from his truck. He acts impulsively, realizes quickly that he's acting impulsively, but refuses to back down from a task once he's started, even as he thinks "Y'know, the hospital security probably isn't going to want to let me back inside with a chainsaw in my hands." This is a large part of why he and Jenny are no longer married.
Jeff
* * *
Nice! Looking forward.
Blake
* * *
Chap 4 is pretty much done. It ends with Oasis and the EMT becoming draculas and killing the LPN while Lanz runs and hides in the supply room. Where those two go from there I don't know.
I don't have a sense for what Shanna is doing in all this.
As requested, I added some Lanz to Blake's Chap. 7. He's still in the supply room. Here is where he thinks he can beat it but fails miserably -- he breaks out and starts chomping. I think Randall has to come through the ER while Lanz has locked himself away.
Paul
* * *
Paul - can't wait to read your new stuff. Love that Lanz runs and hides again.
Re: Shanna, I would say it's totally up to you since Clayton Theel is going to come into the hospital looking for her, which I suppose is his first motivation - find Shanna. Perhaps she needs a short chapter where she has lingered in the ambulance, trying to pull herself together, then walks into the ER when all hell has broken loose. Maybe Moorecook chases her out into another part of the hospital? I guess it really depends on what you're going to do with Shanna and Clayton for the core of your story. Do they have a phone conversation in the ambulance while he's on his way where she pretty much breaks up with him? Pushing him to search for her even harder?