“Nathan,” she practically purred, moving to stand. “Let me help—”

“There is something wrong with you,” I said evenly, and she froze, face losing a little color. “You come to my house in the middle of the day, take off your clothes in my private room when my father is downstairs, my father who’s on the board of the school you attend and you think that I’d be remotely tempted?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t have your fingers inside me less than fifteen minutes ago,” she threw back at me, straightening after she’d picked up her bra off the floor.

“Another mistake, I’ll give you that. Men just think with their dicks around you, don’t they?” Adele snapped her mouth shut, using shaking hands to slip her bra on and yank her jeans off the floor. I took a step closer to her, black waves of anger filling my vision as she covered herself. “A stupid little girl who uses her body to get what she wants, not giving a damn about what the consequences might be.”

She went perfectly still, the only movement on her was her chest heaving silently, eyes focused down at where she’d been pulling her shirt over her stomach. When she lifted her head, I almost apologized, the pain that was stamped on her face was so raw that it pulled my breath from my lungs.

“Get out of my house,” is what I said instead.

And this time, she listened.

Chapter Thirteen

The following two weeks could be summed up in the most pathetic diary entry ever:

Dear diary,

Two weeks ago, Nathan kicked me out of his house after calling me stupid. What makes it even worse was that he was right.

The next day, my neighbor’s internet connection—and therefore my own internet connection—was cut off for non-pay, forcing me out of my apartment and into the rapidly chilling temps of autumn in Boston as I fought for counter space at any café with Wi-Fi I could find.

The rest of the week, Nathan ignored me in class. We were back to before. And since I was still licking my wounds, I wasn’t eager to jump him like an animal in heat anytime soon. That didn’t mean my attraction turned off. If anything, the way he ignored me only heightened my desire.

Did I mention that he was right in calling me stupid? Because he most definitely was.

As that week passed into the next and I understood more clearly that Nathan was most definitely not interested (could have been the way he ignored me when I asked for help on an assignment that made that crystal clear), I did something really, really, really stupid. Because like Nathan said, I was a stupid girl.

I kissed Leo. And then I told him to go away.

Confused? Tell me about it.

I hadn’t meant to kiss him. Famous last words.

It’d been a Wednesday, more than a week since Nathan so callously—but reasonably—booted me from his house. Leo had brought over a couple bottles of wine while he explained my math work to me. Perfect set up, right? Wine? Check. Dim lights (err … lights turned off to save money on the electricity bill)? Check. Math with my completely platonic male best friend? Double check. A recipe for romance, for sure.

Except it wasn’t romance that led me to lean over and plant my lips on his.

I took a long gulp, draining the bottle of moscato Leo had deposited in front of me.

“So if x is less than negative two, you can assume that x plus two is less than zero.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the couch at my back. The hardwood under my ass was beginning to be almost comfortable. “There shouldn’t be letters in math.” I rolled my head to the side, looking at Leo with one eye open. The wine hit me quickly on my empty stomach, making him look a little fuzzy.

“You really need to pay attention, Adele, if you want to pass this class.”

A hiccup bubbled up in my throat but I held it in with puffed cheeks. After letting my cheeks flatten I said, “Maybe I don’t want to pass this class, Leo.”

“I’m pretty sure the terms of your scholarship require you pass the classes you take.” He said it mildly, not even close to the level of inebriation I was.

I waved a hand dismissively. “Scholarship, smallership. Got any more wine?”

“I think you’re set tonight.”

Another hiccup. This one released itself as I tried speaking, making my voice high-pitched and distinct. Belatedly, I covered my mouth and laughed. “Oh, don’t be a party pooper, Leo. Gimme wine.”

Leo began packing away his things and I was struck then that he was leaving, which meant I’d be alone.

“No,” I began, stumbling to my feet. I held the couch for support as my legs wobbled and the room spun. It was harder being drunk in dim lighting. Everything looked so far away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Leo mumbled as he slung his backpack over his shoulders.

“Come on, Leeeeeeo.” I reached a hand out for his jacket, fell against him clumsily. I squeezed his jacket in my fingers. “This is real leather,” I murmured. “My jacket isn’t real.” The feeling made me a little sad and my level of pathetic shot up ten points.

“What are you talking about?” Leo tentatively placed his hands on my upper arms as I leaned into him, breathing him in.

“You smell good,” I said on an inhale, the spicy aftershave and mint entering my senses. “Do you wear glasses?”

“I don’t need glasses.”

Thinking of Nathan, I held Leo. “Some people wear them anyway. Maybe you should. You could pick up chicks.”

Leo laughed, the rumble causing my cheek to brush against the hard metal buttons on his jacket. “I don’t need help picking up chicks.”

“You always chase the same girls. A bunch of Daphnes.”

“Her name was Darcy.”

I rolled my eyes again, but he couldn’t see. “Whatever. Stupid name. Sounds like the name for a poodle.” I giggled. “A dog.” I giggled harder, and still he held me.

“Do you need help to bed?”

“I wish I had a dog.” Images of a curly, fluffy little animal, someone who would love me unconditionally, made me yearn for something unattainable. Everything I wanted was unattainable.

“Get a dog then, Adele.” I only barely registered the annoyance in his voice as he tried to maneuver me to sit on the couch.

“I can’t. Landlord says no way, Jose.” I pouted, looking up at Leo. “Why do I live in a crappy apartment in Dorchester?”

“Because you’re a poor college student.”

I blinked, then held my eyes tight to keep the room from spinning. “Oh, yeah.”

“Here,” he said, gently pushing me to the couch.

My fingers only tightened, pulling him with me. On top of me.

His weight on me was unusual, but not wholly unwelcome. I was lonely. Sick of chasing Nathan. Sick of feeling like I wasn’t good enough, again.

“Jesus,” Leo swore. “Did you drink before I got here?”

I tilted my head back, eyeing the empty bottle of bourbon on the counter. “I was cleaning out my fridge and there wasn’t much left.” I settled into the cushions, feeling comfort from having Leo to hold.

Leo angled his weight off me, sitting up on the edge of the cushion as I laid flat. “Whoa. I have so many questions. First, you needed to make room in the fridge? For what? Last I knew all you had was a few jars of salsa in there. And are you even supposed to refrigerate bourbon?”

“You ask too many questions, Leo,” I mumbled, closing my eyes. My hand reached for him, and I gripped onto what I assumed was his arm. “My mom sent me money for groceries. And I’m just a stupid little girl, what do I know about bourbon?” The thought, though it hinted at the sadness I felt, curved my lips. “What’s wrong with me?”