“Yeah?” he whispers.

“I’ve never been kissed before,” I blurt out, feeling a mixture of nervous and excited.

“You haven’t?” he asks, looking surprised.

I shake my head.

“Shit, Vi,” he says softly, lowering his face to mine. I move a little closer myself until our lips barely touch. Then, it happens. His mouth comes down on mine—gently, softly, perfectly. His tongue lightly explores my mouth, and I just hope the kiss is as good for him as it is for me. He pulls back way too soon, taking away his kisses just as I’d gotten them.

“Don’t stop,” I tell him. “I kind of want to do that for the rest of the night.”

He flashes me a slow-spreading smile, dimples on show. “We can’t sit here kissing all night, Vi.”

“Can we do it on our date?”

He chuckles deeply and kisses my cheek, whispering in my ear, “Yes, and I can’t wait.”

Max walks over to us and raises his eyebrows at me. “I leave you alone for five minutes, Vi, five minutes.”

I hide my smile behind my hand, while Max narrows his eyes on Dash. “We’ll be having a chat soon, dude.”

Dash’s mouth tightens, but he nods, probably accepting that he’s going to have to put up with Max if he wants to go on a date with me. Suddenly feeling in an extremely good mood, I stand up and say, “I’m pretty sure dancing was promised tonight.”

We dance.

We laugh.

It’s two am when I’ve finally had enough.

“Max, can we go now?” I ask him, pulling on his t-shirt. “Dash says he’s ready whenever you are.”

A very drunk Max wraps his arm around me and grins. “The night is still young though, Vi.”

I roll my eyes. “Come on. We’ll get some food on the way home.”

“I can get him home,” Liam says, hearing our exchange. “Matt is our designated driver and is dropping us all off. We’ve got room for Max too.”

I look at Max. “Do you want to do that? I’d rather you came home with us, though.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I’ll stay. We’re going to play some soccer in the backyard.”

“Drunk soccer doesn’t sound like a good idea,” I decide to point out, pursing my lips. “Message me as soon as you get home, all right?”

“Promise,” he says then looks to Dash. “Get her home safely, yeah?”

Dash nods and takes my wrist, pulling me out of Max’s arms and next to him. I wave bye to Max again and then walk with Dash to his car, hand-in-hand.

“He really doesn’t need to tell me to look after you,” he says softly. “You know I’ll do it anyway—one, because I want to, and two, because any good man would.”

He opens the passenger car door for me, and I boldly stop him from moving with my hand on his chest. Going up on my tip-toes, I kiss his lips one more time then pull away and smile. “I know, Dash. You don’t need to tell me. Max is just being Max.”

AKA overprotective.

He tips my chin up, and then kisses me again.

Best night ever.

Chapter Six

I wake up with a smile on my face, replaying last night in my head. Dash and I had gotten some food together, chatted and flirted, and then he dropped me home and walked me to my door, where we kissed for a few magical moments. I reach over and grab my phone, frowning when I see no messages from either Max or Dash, when I told them both to message me when they got home safely.

I have a quick shower, some breakfast, and then head next door to annoy Max. Last time he was hung over, I jumped on his bed until he actually picked me up, deposited me at his front door, and then locked me out. It was even funnier, because his mum yelled at him for it afterwards. I knock on his front door, hoping his parents are home to open it for me; otherwise, I’ll have to climb the wall and jump through his window. It’s been done several times before, but only in emergencies, because it takes a hell of a lot of effort to get up there. The door opens and I breathe a sigh of relief, but then I get a look at Leah’s, Max’s mum’s, face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her, wondering why it looks like she’s been crying. Her eyes are red and swollen, and what’s worse than that, is that they look lifeless. A horrible feeling creeps up on me, spreading through my body and settling in my stomach.

“Leah?” I ask, my voice breaking.

She pulls me into her arms and starts sobbing.

I start to cry too, because I know something bad has happened.

Is Max’s dad okay?

“He’s gone, Vi,” she says through her tears. “He’s gone. What am I going to do without my baby?”

“Who is gone?” I manage to get out, not understanding. I know Max is okay. He’s in his bed, fast asleep. I know he is. I step away from her and run up the stairs to his room, slam the door open, and stare in disbelief at his untouched sheets.

He must have stayed with a girl overnight.

Max is fine; he has to be.

“Their car crashed,” she says to me, crying so loudly that I can’t think. “He didn’t make it.”

“No,” is all I say, shaking my head from side to side. “No!”

“Max is gone, Vi,” she says, glancing around his room. “He’s gone.”

As I absorb this information, my body shuts down.

My heart freezes.

My soul perishes.

Max isn’t the only one who died that morning.

*****

Sometimes, emotional pain can hurt worse than physical.

Sometimes, emotional pain can feel like physical pain.

My chest hurts, feeling tight and constricted.

I can’t breathe.

When will I breathe easy again?

My head hurts.

My heart doesn’t feel like it will ever beat again.

Pain…all I feel is pain.

Grief.

Loss.

The most excruciating, hopeless pain I’ve ever felt.

I will never be me again.

I won’t make it out of this unscathed.

My pieces can’t be put back together.

My best friend is dead.

Sleep.

I just need sleep.

But even then, he finds me in my dreams.

*****

“Vi, you need to eat something,” Dash says, rubbing his warm hands on my ice-cold ones. “Just have some of this soup, okay? It will make you feel better, and then everyone will leave you alone and stop harassing you to eat.”

He brings the spoon to my mouth, but I don’t open it. I don’t know why everyone can’t understand that I just don’t feel hungry. Food is the last thing on my mind. My body is perfectly fine surviving on emptiness, loneliness, and misery.

“How long are you going to do this?” he growls, clearly getting frustrated with me. “We all miss him, Vi, all of us. Do you think he would want you to do this to yourself?”

Max isn’t here to tell me what he wants, but thanks for the reminder.

“It’s been two weeks,” he continues, pacing up and down my bedroom now. “And you’ve barely said a word, barely eaten. Do you want to end up in the hospital? Have you even looked at you? You’ve lost so much weight you’re basically disappearing before our eyes!”

Had it only been two weeks?

It feels like two years have passed.

“I should have made him come home with me,” I say, my voice coming out throaty and dry. “If I insisted that he came home, I’d still have my best friend right now.”

Dash sits down on my bed. “You can’t think like that. He wanted to stay; he made the choice. He got in the car with a driver who was drunk. That’s not on you.”

I stay silent, pondering his words.

“I used to blame myself for my dad leaving us,” he says, looking down at his hands. “He just decided we were all too much, I guess, and I always thought that maybe if I was a better kid, he would have stayed.”

His dad is obviously an asshole, because Dash is amazing.

“There was nothing you could have done to stop this, Viola. Don’t blame yourself, because that is going to eat you alive. And Max wouldn’t want that. He’s probably looking down on you right now, yelling at you for wasting perfectly good food.”