“Not now. But down the road. When I actually have something to tell you.” He was backpedaling.

“If there’s something you want to tell me, Adam, I’m here. I’ll listen. Even if it doesn’t always seem like I will,” I made sure to tell him.

Crap friend, party of one.

“The preschool party is here,” Krista called out, standing in the doorway. She looked at Adam. Then at me. Then at Adam. Her eyes were wide. She looked like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Adam ignored her. “We can talk later, I guess,” he said, and I nodded. Then he did the strangest thing. He hugged me again. That was two hugs in less than five minutes.

My head officially exploded.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. All this Adam touching was weirding me out. Who was this person and what had he done with my partner? I lifted my hands and held them up over his back.

Again, I didn’t know what to do with my hands!

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly, patting him on the back. What was I thanking him for? The most uncomfortable hug in the history of hugs?

He let go of me abruptly. “I’m glad we had this talk.”

“Yeah, me too?” It was more of a question. Because seriously…what?

Adam gave me a smile and I had to do a double take. Hugs. Smiling? Almost deep confessions.

I hadn’t expected to take a trip to la-la land when I decided to come to work today.

“Let’s hang out soon. We haven’t done that in a long time.”

Had we ever hung out?

We watched a slasher movie together once. I ate too many Twizzlers and spent most of the evening vomiting in his bathroom with his dog Skittles trying to sniff my crotch. Did that count?

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

And it did.

It really did.

Chapter 17

Corin

After our odd conversation, Adam went to help Krista with the party and I worked on the spreadsheets, though my mind wasn’t really all there.

I was thinking about Geoffery’s service. I was thinking about Beckett. I was thinking about what I was going to do to keep Razzle Dazzle from going belly-up.

It was a lot of stress.

I didn’t do stress.

I felt like going home and hiding under my covers until it all went away. Or the world ended.

Whichever came first.

“Okay, guys, I’m heading home. I have a thing tonight,” I said hours later, emerging from the office.

Adam and Krista were over at the counter, their heads bent close together. Adam turned quickly toward me and all but shoved Krista away.

“A thing?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“A funeral,” I clarified.

“Sounds like a swinging good time,” he replied blandly.

“It’s a man I knew from the Mended Hearts support group. He had a heart attack.”

“Makes sense.” Adam nodded and I didn’t even bother to respond to that one.

“Everything go okay out here today?” I asked, putting on my coat.

“A couple of preschoolers decided to try their hand at poop graffiti in the bathroom but other than that it was great.”

I gagged. “I really don’t need to hear any more. Do you need help cleaning up?” I asked. Though the last thing I wanted was to clean poo from the walls, I needed to offer.

Adam thought I wasn’t carrying my weight. That had to change. It was my business too. It was time I started acting like it.

Adam waved his hand in dismissal. “Krista and I’ve got it. Go get ready for your funeral. Wait, that sounded bad. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I gotcha. Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Krista had already disappeared into the storeroom and Adam gave me a smile with teeth. Huh. Guess they were still all there.

As I left, I noticed that he went into the storeroom after her.

I had a good idea about what Adam needed to talk to me about so badly.

I went home and fed Mr. Bingley. I washed a load of laundry and I found a suitable black dress to wear.

I made myself something to eat to tide me over. But I wasn’t really hungry. I had lost my appetite.

My mind was everywhere and nowhere.

I thought of my father. My mother.

Beckett and his heart.

Funerals and wakes.

I was most definitely not riding unicorns and frolicking in meadows.

By the time Beckett showed up, I was trying to think of an excuse that would get me out of going.

“Hey,” Beckett said when I opened the door.

I barely registered how nice he looked in his dark suit, his brown hair slicked back off his face.

I let him in as I fastened an earring to my lobe. Mr. Bingley wrapped himself around Beckett’s feet and he picked the cat up.

My feline companion purred so loud I could see his furry little body shake.

“I think he likes me,” he said, scratching Mr. Bingley behind the ears.

“Scratch him like that and he’ll be yours forever,” I joked, but it sounded a little brittle.

“Are you all right to go tonight? If you’re not feeling up to it—”

“I’ll be okay, Beck. Let’s just go,” I said shortly.

Beckett put Mr. Bingley on the floor and reached out to grab my hand. “You’d tell me if there was something wrong, right?”

He cupped the side of my face and I tried to take strength from it. I wasn’t sure it worked.

“I know funerals are hard. They certainly are for me. Even more so now that I almost had one myself.” I winced at his statement. I couldn’t help it. The last thing I wanted to do was think about Beckett dying. It didn’t help settle the churning mess in my stomach. He was trying to be reassuring but he needed a lesson or two on what constituted encouragement to your overanxious girlfriend.

“But let’s do this for Geoffery. Because when my time comes, I hope people come to say goodbye to me.” Beckett gave me a soft smile and I thought I was going to puke all over his shoes.

I wanted to tell him to shut up. To stop talking about his death and funeral. I didn’t want to think about that very real possibility. The one that seemed to shadow everything.

“Don’t die, Dad. Please.”

He couldn’t hear me.

He was way past listening.

Beckett leaned down and kissed me. It started gentle. Just a brushing of lips. But I was feeling desperate. Scared.

Out of control.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I pressed myself up against him, not caring about wrinkling our clothes.

Beckett let out a groan and opened his mouth, his tongue plunging deep. I kissed him harder. Devouring him.

He made me forget.

When he kissed me, I could only think about him.

He was my anesthetic. He numbed me. Before he also set me on fire.

“Corin,” he whispered against my mouth.

“Shhh,” I scolded, kissing him again. My fingers dug into his shoulders.

Make me forget…

“Corin, baby, stop.” He wrapped his hands around my wrists and untangled them from his neck. “We have to get going.” His intensely heated blue eyes searched my face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

No I’m not! I screamed on the inside.

I nodded.

He lifted my hand and gently kissed my knuckles. It made me tingle everywhere. But the moment had passed and I was thinking about other things again.

I was quiet as he led me out to his car. I didn’t protest when he opened the door for me and I could see him frowning at my non-response.

He tried to get me talking. He asked me questions about the shop. But I didn’t give him much. I stared out the window and thought about funerals.