“It wasn’t all bad here,” I protested.

“You’re right. It wasn’t. But at some point those good memories were drowned out by the bad ones. I can’t look up at that green siding and yellow door and think of anything but the fact that our parents died in there.” Tamsin wiped her eyes. I hadn’t noticed that she had started to cry. Maybe she wasn’t completely unfeeling.

That small show of genuine emotion softened me, just the slightest, toward my sister.

Her words hit me hard. Mostly because it was exactly how I felt about the house I had lived in. I just had no idea she felt the same way.

“But there were good times, Tam. Lots of them,” I continued to argue. It seemed more for the sake of arguing though rather than with real conviction.

Tamsin sighed. “Then why won’t you go inside? Why do you want to keep a house you refuse to live in? You refuse to even walk into? I think you, more than me, need to let this go. You need to let go of whatever makes it impossible for you to be here. Because it’s eating away at you.”

“What would you know about what’s eating away at me? It’s not like you have ever taken the time to know anything about me!”

“You’re right. I haven’t. When you were younger, it was because you annoyed the crap out of me. You were my irritating little sister, always underfoot and in my business. But after that, when first Mom then Dad got sick, I stayed away because it was easier. Because if I looked at you, I had to face what was happening to them. You made me remember how much it hurt to lose them.”

Wow. I hadn’t expected that.

At all.

It was the most honest Tamsin had ever been with me. I didn’t know what to make of it.

“Of all the selfish bull—”

“Yes, it was selfish. Yes, it was wrong. I can’t change it. But I’d like to do things differently in the future. Starting now.”

I looked at her as though she had grown another head. “Why in the hell are you saying all of this now? Is this just to butter me up so I’ll sell the house?”

Tamsin chuckled. “Not a bad idea, but no.”

She looked up at the house again and I followed her gaze. I wasn’t entirely sure what I felt when I looked at it. But I knew Tam was right. I was tired of holding onto a bad memory.

“Actually, I started seeing a therapist a couple of months ago.”

This time I laughed. “You seeing a therapist? Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse?”

“Very funny, Corin. Your sense of humor is as delightful as always.” Tamsin pursed her lips. “Jared was the one who suggested it. We were having…trouble. So we started seeing a couple’s counselor, and she suggested that I see someone on my own. To address my unresolved issues about Mom and Dad.”

I was blown away.

Tamsin had rendered me speechless. Again.

“Has it helped?” I asked quietly. For my own reasons.

“It’s been good for me. I realized where I’ve been deficient in my communications with people. And it’s put some things in perspective. Including how I’ve treated you and our lack of relationship.”

“We have no relationship, Tamsin. We never have.”

Tamsin sighed again. “We’re the only family each other has. We should treat each other better.” I opened my mouth to argue some more but she stopped me. “I don’t expect us to be best friends, Cor, but I do hope we can be better than we have been.”

I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t entirely sure what to say.

When I was a little girl, I would have given anything to have my cool older sister to want to have a relationship with me.

But now?

There were a lot of grudges to get rid of first.

“Are you guys coming in?” Jared yelled from the front door. I could see Beckett behind him.

“Are you coming in?” Tamsin asked.

I looked at my sister who watched me expectantly and then at Beckett, his expression concerned.

I nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Chapter 22

Corin

I agreed to sell the house.

It seemed like such a sudden change in attitude, but in truth it wasn’t. Even though I had been so adamantly against it, deep down it was something I knew needed to be done.

But it was a decision that wasn’t made lightly.

I realized after walking inside my childhood home for the first time in years, that too many things were holding me back.

My grief.

My fear.

My obstinate refusal to let go of my parents.

Tamsin and I walked into the house after our mind-opening chat and I thought I was going to be sick.

My stomach clenched and I broke out into a cold sweat. Jared was talking to Ellis the real estate agent, discussing the crown moldings and updated boiler.

Everything was different. Of course it was. Other people lived there now. It was filled with their furniture. Their memories.

But mine were still there. Tucked into corners. Bled into the walls.

Happy memories.

But so many bad ones too.

My mother had died here and my father had wasted away just upstairs.

I had lost my childhood here.

I was stuck in the bricks and mortar.

Tamsin put her hand on my back, a comforting gesture that shocked me.

“Look around, Cor. Do you see anything here you want to keep?”

I took a deep breath, trying to keep the butterflies at bay. They were there, fluttering wings and sharp feet, waiting to drag me down.

“If you can walk around and tell me that you really want to keep the house, then I won’t push to sell it. We’ll figure out a way to keep paying for it.”

My sister was full of surprises, apparently.

“What happened to needing to sell the house to get a down payment on your own place?” I questioned.

“Jared and I will figure out something. So if you really want to keep this house, we’ll keep it. Actually, I’ll sign it over to you. It’ll be yours.”

My heart started to pound in my chest. Hard and fast.

“Really?” I breathed.

Tamsin nodded. “Yes, really. But I want you to walk through every room. Take your time, sis. Think long and hard about what keeping this house would mean for you. And if you can tell me that it’s not just an excuse to stop yourself from moving on, I will sign over the deed today.”

I was overwhelmed. And sick.

I hadn’t felt ill in weeks.

But I felt sick then. Really sick. I was having trouble breathing. I was sweating like a pig.

Tamsin tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and gave me a sad smile. “I think you’re stuck, Corin. Stuck in these rooms. Still thinking like the eighteen-year-old girl who had to watch our dad die. And I think selling this place could cut a cord you don’t need anymore. But that’s just my opinion. Take it or leave it.”

“Don’t think because you’re being shrinked, you can psychoanalyze me. You’re not qualified to do that. I don’t want to hear your bullshit,” I seethed, suddenly angry. So, so angry. And defensive.

Because she had cut me deep. So deep that I felt it in the darkest recesses of my repressed heart.

Tamsin didn’t snap back at me. She didn’t offer a snide retort. She just looked at me sadly, with an understanding that made me extremely uncomfortable.

“I don’t want to psychoanalyze you. I just want you to hear me,” she said.

I rubbed my temples, willing the throbbing to stop.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” I conceded, feeling contrite.

Tamsin tentatively put her arm around my shoulders and gave me a brief hug. “It’s okay. I know I’ve earned a lot worse.”