No. Stop it.

She glanced over at me and I felt exposed, fake and highly uncomfortable.

“Are we alone? I mean, you don’t have other staff roaming around, right? I need pants if you do.” She reached down and tugged at the hem of the t-shirt, hiding more of herself from me.

“No. I could have lots of staff, but I enjoy my privacy far too much.” I moved past her and walked toward the laundry room at the back of the penthouse. “I have a maid that comes twice a week, but other than her, no.”

“Not a chef either? Do you cook for yourself?” Her voice was sensual and innocent at the same time. The sound of it caused my balls to contract to the point of pain. Realization washed over me. I needed to get rid of her, or excuse myself for the next hour. I wouldn’t be able to stand the pressure of needing to explode much longer.

I dropped everything into the washing machine, started it and joined her on the couch, making sure to leave a lot of room between us. Tyson was asleep in her arms again, the peaceful look on his face so serene. I was jealous. She was giving him rest, and dropping buckets of hormonal rage on me at the same time.

“No. I cook some, but I usually just eat out. Makes life easier.” I shrugged and reached over to brush my fingers over Tyson’s head. I inadvertently touched her arm as I drew my hand back and the shiver that ran through her almost did me in. She hadn’t been touched in a while. I needed to remind her how good it could feel to be owned, to be worked, to be used.

“Where’s Tyson’s mother?” She glanced down at the baby and back up at me as the heat of my desire sizzled out.

Alice. My sweet sister who was working to save the world. She was the only person I’d ever met that could actually do anything she put her mind to. She wanted to save the world? So, she would. Or would have. But her life was snatched away from her... and her from us.

“She died in a plane crash.” I shrugged and ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn’t open that box up just yet. I still wasn’t sure we were going to have a long-term employment relationship yet. Sleeping with her would ruin that completely and yet I was just a selfish enough bastard to not care. Best to let the pretty little thing think Tyson was mine.

In all actuality—he was.

7 - Kendra

Jax’s news about Tyson’s mother was soul crushing. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts and force my jaw to close. He was good enough to flip the TV back on and turn away from me, leaving me to my morbid thoughts. I wasn’t sure what it felt like to lose a spouse, but to lose a parent... yes. I snuggled the baby in closer and kissed his temple before brushing my lips over the top of his head.

I whispered my thoughts softly, not quite aware that I was being watched again. “I’m so sorry.”

Strong fingers wrapped around my arm and squeezed softly. I glanced up at Jax as a tear dripped over onto my cheek.

“Thanks.” He nodded and gave a tight smile before releasing me and letting out a long yawn. “I figure we’ll fix up the bedroom upstairs for you. It’s not like Tyson’s going to be up all night. If he’s asleep, then you should sleep too.”

I wiped at my eyes with my free hand, working not to disturb the little sleeping bundle in my arms. Watching Tyson was one thing, but having a room at Jax’s house was odd. What if he brought another woman home?

Then he does. He’s a handsome man and needs to move on from the loss of his wife. What’s it to you?

Other than him being the center of my fantasies? Nothing.

He was older than me by a few years at least, and having already lived a bit of his life, he was smart enough to reach out and get help when help was needed. Did he not have any family around the area who could help too?

“That sounds good. I don’t mind sleeping during the day or even sharing a room with him. There’s a bed in his room. I remember seeing a small trundle. That will do.” I brushed my lips over the baby’s head again and breathed in deeply.

“No. I have plenty of room. We’ll work on your room later this weekend.” He reached over again and brushed his hand over Tyson’s back. “I can’t imagine growing up without my mother. She’s a good woman and I honestly wouldn’t be who I am today without her. Don’t tell her I said that.”

I smirked at the cute grin that slid across his devastatingly handsome face. “I’ll try not to.”

“Is your mom a good woman too?”

“I don’t know. I don’t honestly remember her.”

“Oh.” Jax pulled his hand back as his smirk fell. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“It’s okay. I was five when she and my father were in a car accident. I was in the car too, but I only ended up with a few scrapes after everything was patched up.”

“Patched back up? On you?” Jax’s eyebrow lifted.

“Yeah. The truck in front of us was carrying thin metal pipes and I was riding in the backseat when it hit another car and flipped. The pipes impaled the car and pinned me to the seat, but killed my parents.” I tugged down the front of the t-shirt that I wore and glanced down. Just above the swell of my breast was a thickly puckered scar. “I have several of those.”

“Shit, Kendra.” He moved toward me before I could release my hold on the t-shirt. He brushed his fingers over the skin, the look on his face melting me.

I smiled and moved back a little, clearing my throat. “Yeah, so I had to grow up in various orphanages. Life was tough, but I learned to defend myself at a young age.” I cleared the emotion from my throat. “I miss the idea of having someone to unconditionally love me like parents are supposed to, but I’m not sure I would change who I’ve become.”

“We are all somehow a product of our environment.”

“I agree. I promised myself a long time ago that I would find joy in all things. Life was too fleeting to be miserable. It hasn’t been easy, and I’m still waiting for my big break, but I’m pushing forward.” I glanced down at Tyson and smiled. “After I get my career together, I’m going to focus on finding a good man and then starting a family. I love these little guys.”

“Starting your own business is a ballsy move. Especially in fashion. You should be proud of yourself.”

I swallowed. “I am to some degree, but my drive and ambition truly come from having to half raise myself. I was a good kid, but getting adopted by a family is damn near impossible to do after you’ve passed the infant stage.”

“I get that, I guess. Having to raise Tyson alone is going to be hard enough, but if he were older... that’d be fucking scary. He would judge me and my wicked ways, no doubt.”

“You, wicked?” I smiled and reached for my phone as it buzzed. Just an e-mail I could check later.

“Talk to me about happiness. If you’re looking for joy or happiness in all things... you’re finding it, right?”

His question was loaded, but seeing that he was being so open with me, I wasn’t willing to clam up. Not just yet.

“No. I wish I could say that it’s easy or that it gets easier the more you exercise that muscle, but it just doesn’t. It almost seems like a mirage, an illusion I’ve been pursuing relentlessly.”

“And what have you found in your search?”

“Besides disappointment?” I smiled and let out a shallow-sounding laugh. “It’s a journey. Ask me in ten years.”

“Tell me how you know Hunter. He’s my top trader at the firm. I couldn’t do half of what I’m capable of doing without that guy. He’s a nerd and a half though. How does a fashion designer and an engineering geek become close friends?”

I rolled my eyes and gave him a look. “You’re far too shallow for your own good.”

He laughed. “You, pretty girl, would not be the first person to have pointed that out.”

I chuckled and let the comment go. “His father founded the first orphanage I went to. He was there off and on helping, and we played everything from hop-scotch to spin the bottle together. I was shipped off to another orphanage in my early teens, but was able to go through high school back with him and his father. His dad was the closest thing to a father I had. I kinda clung to them both, I guess.”