Eva clicks her tongue before choking on a piece of popcorn. I reach over to slap her on the back, but she’s got it under control and acting like the white wine we’re drinking is going to make a difference. It’s a miracle I’m seeing her at all. This morning I got a text from her saying her midterms were hell and that she wanted to find a way to relax. Since the club isn’t open today, that means crashing at one of our places. I wasn’t surprised to see her on my doorstep an hour ago, carrying popcorn and the bottle of wine. Winning combination.

“Bet you’ll be glad when this hotel bullshit is over,” she mumbles on a ton of popcorn. I can barely understand her half the time.

I shrug. “It’s not that bad. Just a lot of busy work and meetings.”

“Like I said, fucking boring.” Eva turns the bowl upside down to catch the last of the popcorn in her mouth. A kernel bumps off her chest and lands on my couch. Thanks, Eva. “I would go crazy doing a job like that for more than a couple of weeks.”

“It’s not all boring…” I stop there. In my mind, I am associating my job with Ian. Even when we’re doing boring shit like walking around the hotel looking for problems, or getting into another meeting with the Andrews, all I’m thinking about is the way that man kisses me, as if I’m the hottest woman in the world. I’m sure that’s how he kisses every woman he likes bedding. I don’t care. Just let me live in this reverie I’ve built up for now.

I need it for Wednesday, apparently.

“Even if it’s not boring, you’re dealing with the Mathers. I’d shoot myself. Ian alone makes me want to scream.”

There’s a lump in my throat. “Why’s that?”

“You have to ask? I thought you hated the douche.”

“Don’t know if I’d call him a douche…”

“Eh?” Eva looks at me, laughing in disbelief. “Going soft on me, are you? I hear he’s a lady killer, but come on. You’ve got a reputation to maintain.”

Does she know? What the fuck! “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Now she’s snorting. “I’ve heard the birdies, Kathryn. You having lunch with him on your workdays.”

“Of course we’re going to have lunch sometimes.”

“How about going to the symphony?”

I sit up straight. “How did you know about that?”

“Mutual friend saw you guys there that night. In the Mathers’s box.”

“So? He offered to take me and I like the symphony.”

“Kathryn Margaret Alison,” Eva says with that mother’s disdain, “I know you ain’t dating that guy, so…”

“So what?” I need to be careful with the defensiveness, but I can’t help it. Eva’s driving me a bit nuts!

She turns her lips up into a rueful smile. “Are you fucking Ian Mathers?”

“What!”

“You heard me. You’re getting all flustered talking about him. People are seeing you together when two weeks ago you wouldn’t have been caught dead spending more time than you had to with him. Plus, uh, mutual friend says you two were…um… quite cozy in that booth.”

All the color drains from my face.

Oh my God.

“You like giving Doms blowjobs at the symphony, huh?”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

Although I mean for my tone to be exasperated, it comes out embarrassed. Like me. Fuck it all.

“No way.” The asshole laughs, knocking over her popcorn bowl. Thank God it’s empty, and thank God she didn’t knock over her wine. “No way.”

“Shut up.”

“So it’s true? You’re fucking Mathers?”

More like he’s fucking me right now, but I’m not going to tell her that. “It’s a casual thing. We’re not even dating, let alone in a real relationship.” No way in hell am I telling her about the Dom thing. It’s bad enough she found out about him and me fooling around like this.

“He’s a…”

“I know what he is!” Why is my voice projecting? Why am I getting worked up like this? Shit, Kathryn, get it together! “Do you have BDSM sex with every person you fuck? No? I didn’t think so. It’s not like that. We’re not being kinksters.” I’m really into this whole lying thing.

Then again, I tell myself, it isn’t like that every time with him. Last week we made pretty amazing love… shit, there I go calling it that again.

What is wrong with me?

“Well, far be it from me to tell you what you are or aren’t doing in the bedroom.” Eva picks up the empty bowl, including some tiny kernels that managed to make it onto my carpet. “Although I hope you know what you’re doing. At some point that man is going to try it with you, and he may not realize he’s putting his cock up on the guillotine for it.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

“Speaking of which…” Eva looks way too comfy on my couch. Sure, she’s oozed all over it more than once in my life, but there’s something extra mischievous about it this time. And it’s all directed at me. “How is it?”

“How’s what?”

She scoffs. “You know what I’m talking about. How’s the cock?”

I shake my head. She’s kidding herself if she thinks we’re having this delicious kind of girl talk. She will never, ever let me live it down if she found out that…

“I’ve heard two stories about Ian’s penis over the years,” Eva says with a languished sigh. “Some say he has a massive donkey dick. Others say it’s practically microscopic. So? Which?”

Normally I would love to engage in cock talk with my best friend. God knows I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life comparing the dicks of both Doms and subs at the club. I mean, with the Doms, half of them are hanging out anyway. The subs have probably been inside me at some point.

But I don’t feel like talking about it now. Probably because this is a lot more personal than some guy I picked up at the club and took for a ride for an hour until he popped and couldn’t go anymore.

Eva’s stare bores into me. I’m not getting off this couch until I divulge something to her. Great. Time to play a game I have no interest in playing.

“It’s not microscopic,” I say, unable to meet her gaze. “It’s also not a ‘donkey dick’ either. That sounds painful.”

“Hey, you’re the heterosexual one here. I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Eva’s grin is so big and stupid that I can’t tell if she’s joking or not. She’s never mentioned whether or not she’s fucked guys before. I know she doesn’t now, obviously, but the words “gold” and “star” have never passed her lips either. So it’s not totally impossible that Eva Warren knows what a good-sized cock is.

“How many inches?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Girl.”

My eyes can’t roll hard enough. I also haven’t really thought about it before. How big Ian’s cock is, anyway. Partly because I’m usually too lost in a drunken haze of sex. “Above average, for sure. Don’t know the exact length and I don’t care.”

“He knows how to use it, eh?”

“Would you shut up?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The farther this conversation goes, the more I’m convinced Eva’s getting off on stirring the pot. “You’ve never been this uptight about sex talk before. What is with this guy making you acting like a closed-lip prude?”

“I am not.” I straighten up, my pride suddenly on the line. It’s true. Usually I’m the first to start blabbing about cocks when we’re in this situation. “All right. Fine. He’s stupid big around the head… and I don’t mean the one with the brain in it.”

“Go on. Is he cut or uncut?”

“Cut.”

Eva shakes her head.

I’m not going to ask her how she can formulate an opinion on this. “He spurts like five times when he comes. All thick.”

“Five?” Finally, I see that claim of “I’m a lesbian who knows nothing!” on Eva’s face. Woman knows about cock size, but not so much about cock finales. “Is that a lot?”

“I’m used to like… three. Not all thick.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, and he knows he’s special, too.”