I can’t believe he did that.

I can’t believe I sat there and took it.

Weren’t we having a good time? I was into it. My mouth barely fit around that cock, but by the powers that be I made it work, even after he started choking me like the alpha male he thinks he is. I’m not shy about sucking cock. I’m not shy about taking a load in my mouth. I would’ve been more than fine sucking every drop from him and feeling it wash down my throat.

So why did he have to go and do that?

The look in his eyes when he came on me… not just on me, but on my face… that was the look of a Dom who didn’t give a shit. Who thought I really was his possession.

Ian has been in this game longer than I have. He knows what it means to come on a Domme’s face without her ordering it. I told you, my two no-nos are my face and my pussy. I don’t let any man come anywhere near those two places without a condom. Now I feel like I’ve been…

I feel like I’ve been violated.

My screaming only stops because I run out of strength. I lower the towel, looking at my smeared makeup in the mirror, wondering what it is Ian sees when he glances at me. A woman to be tamed? A woman who needs to be taught a lesson?

I trusted him. I trusted him to go easy on me. And he called that going easy?

The man came on my face!

In my anger, I swipe the hand soap and a box of tissues off the sink. They clatter on the floor, making a mess. I don’t care. I want him to know how displeased I am, because he’s clearly not listening to me.

Angry. Betrayed. Frustrated.

What was supposed to be a night of experimentation has turned into my nightmares.

Men don’t get to do this to me. They don’t get to boss me around and do whatever the fuck they want to my mind, my body. They do that everywhere else. Why do they get to do that to me in the bathroom? I want men to grovel at my feet. To kiss my hand and call me Mistress.

I don’t want what Ian Mathers offers right now.

Before I can go out there and give him a piece of my mind, however, I have one last thing I have to confront.

The fact that deep, deep down… in the pit of my stomach… my loins…

I’m turned on.

That’s why I couldn’t stop it. Why I didn’t move, even though I had total and complete freedom to while he jerked himself off. I could’ve moved. I could’ve said no… but I didn’t.

Why?

Because I’m turned on?

There are tears in my eyes, giving me another reason to pat the bathroom towel against my face. Not merely giving him head. Not merely the way he says “Katie” and gets my panties hot with that growling voice of his when he’s aroused. Not even merely the way he grabs my hips and gets me ready to take his cock in any hole.

It was the way he looked at me. Towering over me, his resolve weakening as his hand furiously jerked his cock until he spent himself all over me.

The anticipation.

The heat of his seed hitting my skin, marking me, dripping down my skin and into recesses he had yet to touch tonight.

I’m scared because I liked it. Because the reason I didn’t move when I realized what he was doing… was because I wanted it.

Don’t ask me what took over my brain. When I was sucking his cock, all I thought about was how good it would feel in me. How his thighs tensed up, grew hotter, and how good his cock and precum tasted. That was a legitimate turn on. Even if he came inside my mouth, I didn’t care. I could get him hard again to take my pussy. Maybe he would reciprocate again with that masterful tongue of his.

That isn’t what happened. Instead, Ian pushed me off him, stood above me, and covered me with his cum.

Just thinking about it now…

No. Please don’t, body.

I sink to the floor, towel still wrapped around my face. My nipples are hard, my thighs are wet, and that uncontrollable part of my lust is begging to relive it.

I don’t know who she is!

How long do I stay in here? I have no idea. I’m holding myself to the side of the claw foot bathtub, my tears done, but my body shaking with arousal.

Hey, Kathryn… I hear that foreign part of my subconscious. It’s not so bad, darlin’. The man knows what he’s doing. He’ll make you feel so good.

Don’t listen to her, Kathryn. Remember who you are! A badass Domme who cracks a mean whip and knows how to edge a guy until he’s begging to come from your hand or mouth.

Give in, slut.

I get up and look at myself in the mirror. My makeup is still smudged, but otherwise I look like the woman who showed up a half hour ago.

How things change in a half hour.

To his credit, Ian hasn’t bothered me since telling me to go to the guest bathroom to clean up. He knows what he’s done. He knows why I’m in here screaming.

Which means I can’t forgive him.

I should leave. Without a word. Just grab my bag and leave, vowing to make his life hell for his betrayal.

Instead I slowly open the bathroom door, peering through the crack and looking for Ian. I don’t see him.

My bag is on the couch. I go there, calculating whether I should take a cab home or walk off my anger.

“Katie.”

His arms are around me, his mouth on my shoulder and his scent so overwhelming that for a moment I forget what he’s done. Then he squeezes my breast, his other hand moving toward my groin. I don’t want him feeling how turned on I am.

Too late.

“Stop.” I put my hands on his, and gradually, we stop rocking. “I need to go.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

I don’t say it with enough conviction. Somehow this man has worn me down to a whispering woman.

“Did I frighten you? I’m sorry.”

“See? You do know.”

“I had to put you in your place, Kathryn.” His hands roam up my body, stroking my nipple, massaging my neck. “You were looking at me like a Domme sucking off her sub. I am not your sub. You’re the sub tonight. Besides…” He feels my thigh, chuckling at how hot it is. Damn him. Damn him! “I know you were scared, but you weren’t scared of me. You were scared of liking it. That happens to a lot of women.”

He’s talking to me as if I don’t know. I’m not a treasure to be coddled. I’m not a wide-eye sub finally finding out why she likes having her ass tapped. I’m a grown woman who has been in the BDSM scene for years. I just don’t… do this…

I don’t submit. It was stupid to have come here.

“I won’t promise to go easier on you. That would defeat the purpose.” His grip on me relaxes, but I still don’t feel at ease. If anything, I want him to hold me tighter. Go ahead. Squeeze me to death and put me out of this internal-turmoil-misery.

He doesn’t.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel, Katie.” Ian’s voice is so gentle that I almost fall for it. “You’re still a strong woman. It’s strong women who know and understand what they want. You came to me. If you leave now, you’ll never indulge in this side of yourself again. You’ll be too scared to, with me, with any Dom. I might make you uncomfortable sometimes. That’s good. Your boundaries are being pushed. But I promise to do it safely.” Ian cups his hand beneath my chin and turns my head around, his lips nearly on mine. “I won’t hurt you. I’m making love to you. I’m pleasuring you.”

I suck on my lip, holding in what can only be described as a pathetic mewl. God, I’m pathetic. Especially for this man.

“Nothing will be done to you that you don’t want. I’m learning about you and what you like as a sub. If I don’t think you’re getting off on something, I’ll stop unless you tell me otherwise. I want you to feel good, even if there’s pain. But…” He steps back, turns me around, hands clamped on my arms as he makes me look at him. Ian’s hazel eyes are practically wild. “You have to listen to me. If you don’t, it could get bad for you. I need you to trust me. If you trust me with your mind and body, then I’ll trust you to tell me when you need to stop.”