To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu

Subject: Face plant.

Calvin,

Does it hurt? I’ve only been nailed in the mouth once, and it was by my brother when I was 12. Which would have made him 19. We were playing football in the backyard with some of his friends when he came home from college for Easter, and he lobbed the ball right at my face. A spiral toss, full force. Nothing was knocked out but me. Laid me flat out. Fat, bloody lip for almost two weeks. My parents were so pissed. I still refuse to toss the ball around with him LOL. He’ll never live it down. Speaking of bloody lips, who’s to say no one would want to kiss you? I bet SOME girls get turned on by beat-up-looking athletes. Do you still have that black eye? That’s bonus points. Brings your average up considerably, and I definitely find that sexy. Grey

Cal: My face still hurts.

Grey: Rub some dirt on it.

Cal: I don’t have any. I live in a concrete jungle.

Grey: Poor baby.

Cal : >tear<

Grey: LOLOL

To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu

Subject: Nurse Greyson Keller at your service…

Calvin,

How’s our patient today? The lip and teeth any better? I hope Aaron hasn’t mysteriously disappeared, because that would make me an accessory to a crime. And then I would have to report you to the authorities. Grey

To: grevkeller0143@state.edu

From: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

Subject: Naughty Nurse Keller? Yes please.

Grey. Wow, you would make the world’s shittiest nurse. I’m sensing all your sympathy lies with Aaron, and I won’t stand for it. We’re not supposed to rough each other up in practice. I swear to fucking God he’s pissed that I haven’t gotten Melody’s number for him. I don’t know where he thinks I’d GET it from, because I haven’t told anyone you and I have been talking. – Calvin

Grey: So now I’m your dirty little secret?

Cal: No, that’s not what I meant at all. You’re more like…

Grey: More like…? Come on, tell me. Don’t be shy.

Cal: Me, shy? Yeah, right.

Grey: Don’t change the subject. If I’m not your dirty little secret, then what am I?

Cal: You’re more like—this is going to sound really fucking dumb.

Grey: SAY IT OR I SWEAR TO GOD CALVIN I WILL COME FIND YOU.

Cal: Well, in that case I’m going to zip my lips shut.

Grey: Aww, you are so cute.

Cal: You’re not my dirty little secret. You’re my guilty pleasure.

Cal: Oh my god, that did sound fucking dumb.

Grey: Hold on. I’m going to pass out now from shock. That wasn’t dumb—it was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

Cal: And THAT’S ^^^ the reason I shouldn’t have said anything.

Grey: I’m taking a screenshot of that and saving it for eternity so I can stare at it at night when I’m alone.

Cal: Wow. Spoken like a true stalker.

Grey: LOL.

To: grevkeller0143@state.edu

From: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

Subject: Worse than a bunch of women. No offense.

Greyson. My roommates are driving me fucking crazy. If they don’t stop asking about you, I’m moving out. Mason checks his Twatter constantly, looking for my name in your feed, and mopes around like a sad puppy dog when he can’t find one. It’s annoying. Could you do me a favor and get him off my back by throwing the dog a small bone? – Calvin

@Grey_VKeller Tweeted: The countdown to Gala continues. Thanks 4 dinner last night @calthompson3192 the poem & wine & roses & chocolates were 2 MUCH! Kisses to my big SWEETIE POOH #bestboyfriend

Cal: I hate you so hard right now.

Grey: *blank stare* Was it something I said?? I tried to use every available character #140

Cal: That was really fucking rude. They are RIDING MY ASS right now. Calling me pussy whipped. Hope you’re happy, you brat.

Grey: Oh, don’t be a baby. You asked me to send the tweet.

Cal: You know damn well that’s not what I meant. Who’s moving out of state and changing their name? >> This guy <<

Grey: Changing your name? *claps happily* Ooh, ooh! Let me help you pick one!!!! What about Chet Montgomery? That sounds sporty and badass.

Cal: No.

Grey: Allan Thouroughgood

Cal: Oh my god.

Grey: Randolph Christian Kuttnauer

Cal: WHERE the HELL are you coming up with these?

Grey: Those don’t sound regal to you? Or manly?

Cal: No.

Grey: I’ve got it!!! Dark Gray Keller.

Cal: LOLOL Okay. I’ll admit, that one was funny.

Grey: :) I try. TRY. GET IT? GET IT???

Cal: Honestly, Grey. What am I going to do with you…

Grey: I might have some suggestions.

Cal: No comment.

To: cal.thompson04@smu.il.edu

From: grevkeller0143@state.edu

Subject: We’re becoming THAT couple ;) haha

Calvin,

You’re not still mad about the tweet, are you? Believe me—I got as much shit from my friends as you probably did. Apparently, when you publically call someone Sweetie Pooh, it makes people want to toss their cookies inside their preppy monogram tote bags. Or so I’ve been told. Multiple times. Jemma, your roommate’s cousin, has been getting the scoop on you from Mason, and now she wants me to stay away from you. Says you’re only going to break my heart because you don’t “do” relationships. Oh, and you’re a total dickhead. (Mason’s words, not mine). Oddly enough, I ended up defending you like this charade is real. What’s THAT all about?! Grey