“Bree, I’m rather certain that you’re more intelligent than I. Me. I am? Now you have me confused and slightly terrified to use the wrong word,” he said, causing us both to laugh uncontrollably.

I had to turn my face into the pillow in order to keep my giggles from waking my mother. After our talk earlier, I didn’t think she’d barge into my room, not to mention, she hadn’t had any wine, but I didn’t want to take the chance.

“But back to what I was saying before your impromptu grammar lesson…” His voice slowly calmed down and turned more serious, causing my giggles to die. “This thing between you and me? I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want you to be confused, or think too much into it. That’s the last thing I want, because if you’re uncomfortable with me, I worry you won’t come to me if you need to. And it scares me to think of you in danger, or pain, and not have anyone to turn to. I won’t show up at your house again, I promise. But I need you to tell me what else I should do—or not do—in order to keep this friendship in check. Like I’ve said, this is new to me. And it’s new to you, too. Maybe we should set boundaries, ground rules, something to make sure neither of us cross any imaginary lines.”

I took a moment to breathe, to watch the shadows of the trees from outside my window dance along my wall, and waited for the crushing weight to press against my chest. But it never came. The sting of tears never surfaced, the knot in my lower belly never formed, and the invisible hand around my heart never tightened. What I did feel, though, was respect. It blossomed into a heated veil that covered me. His words didn’t burn like I thought they would, the rejection absent from them. Maybe because I knew they were coming? Or maybe because his words echoed my own thoughts? Whatever the reasons, a comfort took ahold of my insides, and I knew he wasn’t turning his back on me. He had no intentions of leaving me and walking away. He still wanted to be there for me. And that’s when my own feelings became clear.

What I thought had been a developing crush on my teacher, was nothing more than the deep desire to be cared for. I didn’t need his physical affection, or even for him to think of me as anything other than a student that needed his protection. And just like that, I was okay.

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Axel. I only wanted you to be aware of how my brain works. I’m not saying I have a crush on you, or that I’m expecting something to come from this. All I wanted to do was get it all out so there would be no possible way my mind could twist anything and somehow convince myself our friendship is more than it is. That’s all. But now that we’ve got that out of the way, hopefully any future bantering or unexpected phone calls won’t become awkward or strained. I have enough of that in my life…I’d really like to have a relationship with someone that is natural and easy.”

“I’d like that, too.” I heard the grin in his tone, and if I closed my eyes, it was as though I could see him right in front of me. Smirk and all. “So…before I get off here and get ready for tomorrow, is there anything else you want to talk about? Your mom? Life? Fucking rainbows?”

I laughed and shook my head at his inappropriate—yet completely at ease—language. “Nope. Nothing else. I didn’t really mean to text you earlier. I think the ability to simply text someone became too much to resist. Anytime I’ve ever wanted to talk to someone before, I never had the option.”

“Never apologize for reaching out to me. That’s what I gave you the phone for, remember? I know I said to use it for emergencies, and that was the primary reason for giving it to you, but I’m always here to listen if you need to talk. Everyone needs someone to talk to.”

“Thank you, Axel.”

“Goodnight, Bree.”

I ended the call, flipped the top closed, and held the phone to my chest. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t do a little somersault, or that my stomach didn’t house thousands of tiny butterflies when I closed my eyes and thought about my new friend. But I wasn’t stupid, either. I didn’t fall asleep dreaming of a future with Axel, filled with half a dozen red-haired, blue-eyed kids. I didn’t wake up and choose my outfit with him in mind. I didn’t walk into school with an eagerness to see him. No. I dreamt of security, I dressed for the weather, and walked into class eager to learn.

Seeing his smile from across the room was merely a bonus.

“Morning, Bree,” Axel said as I took my seat in front of him. The sly expression on his face appeared dangerous, as if it harbored a secret. And then I felt my own form on my lips and realized what that secret was…our late-night chat on the phone.

It didn’t matter that we hadn’t done anything wrong. There really wasn’t much of a secret to keep. Sure, a teacher bought a phone for his student, and they had a conversation. But delving deeper into it—the reason he bought her the phone, what they talked about—proved they had nothing to be ashamed of. We had nothing to worry about, or anything to hide. But that didn’t stop us from exchanging quick, knowing glances before looking away.

There was something exciting about danger.

The enticing allure of it all.

It made people want to have secrets.

“Morning, Mr. Taylor.” I made sure to enunciate his name, if only to ruffle his feathers. And I knew I got to him when he produced a crooked grin that took over his face and his head shook side to side in silent laughter.

“Feeling better today?” he asked once his eyes met mine again, the initial reaction to seeing each other gone. “You seem better, more…spunky.”

“Tons better. Thank you. And I don’t know about being spunky, but I have had quite an odd morning. My mom was in the kitchen when I came downstairs for breakfast. She’s always gone by the time I wake up for school. So it was surprising to see her. I guess she was waiting for me. She asked how I was, felt my forehead, and then left. It was bizarre.”

He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his gaze at me. “Think she’s feeling bad about yesterday?”

“Maybe…but I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t—”

“Mr. Taylor…” Rebecca interrupted me as she trotted over to his desk and leaned her hip against the edge. She held her books to her chest, but traced some invisible line along the top of his desk with her manicured fingertip, very close to his resting arm. “I think I’m going to need some extra help for this test we have on Friday. I’m just not getting it, and I want to do good on it.”

Irritation burned within me as I watched her openly flirt with him, but it quickly vanished once Axel spoke. “Well. You want to do well on the test.” Then he glanced back at me with a raised eyebrow, as if seeking my approval. “And although I appreciate your desire to pass my class, I’ve given you all the information you need for the test. We will continue going over it today and tomorrow. If you for some reason don’t pass this one, I believe the library has a list of student tutors that can help you for future tests.”

“Oh…well, I was kinda hoping you offered afterschool lessons.”

I could tell he fought to keep his eyes off mine as he answered. “No. I’m sorry, but I don’t offer those. There are plenty of students in this school capable of giving help to you if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Rebecca huffed out a breath, making girls my age seem incompetent and immature, and then left her perch, flouncing to her seat. Her desk was close to mine, so I couldn’t make any comments to Axel without her overhearing. Instead, I decided to write it down and pass it to him.

Very proud of your English skills.

Without looking at him, I could hear his soft laughter and imagined him shaking his head as he often did when he found something funny. But I couldn’t chance seeing for myself. Our “secret” may have only been obvious to us, but the mere thought of someone else finding out, and then having to give it up, had me overly cautious around him.