“No. But she’s had so many more opportunities since then.”

“So many? You just told me it’s only been a week. And you described a handful of interactions.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Tracii,” I said, my anger beginning to grow, only this time, my sister being the target. “I’ve had a kid for the last five years and never knew about her.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t run away like a coward, then you might’ve known a little bit sooner. And then you wouldn’t have gone this long thinking the worst of the person you claim to love. And you wouldn’t have become an alcoholic. Stop blaming others, Axel. I understand that shit happens, and what happened between you two is some nasty shit…but take some freaking responsibility.”

“What happened to the sister that hated Bree a few years ago?”

“I’m not saying Bree is innocent, and she is right in not telling you about the kid over the last week. But she’s not here to defend herself. You are. And years ago…all I had to go on was you telling me how she stabbed you in the back. I had to watch my brother fall apart over a girl. Of course I wasn’t going to like her. But now I know the truth, and it’s kind of hard to defend you against that.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I asked her who the father was and she never told me the truth. She led me to believe she fucked some random kid in school after I left.”

Tracii looked around the room behind me. “Can you please watch your language?” She settled against the counter and crossed her arms. “How many times did you ask? And where were you when you did this?”

I knew my answer wouldn’t sway her opinion. She’d only agree with Bree again. But I had to be honest with her if I expected her to help me overcome this. “When she came to pick Ayla up from school and I found out about her. That was the first time. And the other time was at her house after we came home from the hospital. Up until then, I thought she was married, so I thought her husband was the father. But when I found out there was no husband, I again asked who the father was. And again, she lied to me.”

“All right…” She took in a deep breath, preparing for one of her famous lectures. “The first time you asked, you can’t be pissed that she didn’t tell you. I’m sure she was just as surprised seeing you with the little girl, as you were about her being a mom. Don’t throw stones, Axel. Now the second time, yes, she could’ve told you. That would’ve been a good time to drop the ball. However, I’m sure she was also emotionally spent after the ordeal with her own dad. Pretend to be her for a moment. Think about how scary it would be for you to tell the person you supposedly love that your child is theirs. Oh, and said child is five…not a baby.”

“Crap,” I groaned, pressing my forehead to the counter. “Why must you always be right?” And why must I not believe it until my sister says the same things I’ve already heard?

“It’s a curse…really.”

I glanced up and raised a brow at her.

“Okay, so you have a lot to think about. I take it you want to be in the kid’s life?” she asked and waited for me to nod. “That’s good. If not, I’d have to kick your ass.”

“Watch your language,” I reprimanded her the way she had done to me.

“It’s my house. I can say whatever I want. But I’m going to give you a bit of advice. I don’t know anything about this woman other than what you’ve told me. But I don’t think it’s best for you two to be in a relationship together at this point. You had some sort of heavy relationship years ago, and you both fell in love, hard and fast. But a lot has happened to you both since then. I’m not saying it wasn’t real, or that you can’t have that again. But listen to me, Axel, you both need time to heal first. After what went down between you two, you both took separate roads to get you guys to this point. Ride it out. Don’t go jumping medians to get to each other. If you’re meant to be…you’ll be.”

I dropped my hands to the counter, feeling on the verge of giving up. Her words meant so much, and I understood what she meant, but it wasn’t that easy anymore. “I have a kid with her, Trace. What do I do about that?”

“That’s a dumb question, Axe. Take care of her. Be a dad to her. Don’t just jump in, though. I’m sure you’ll confuse the crap outta the little kid if you walk into class and tell her to start calling you ‘Daddy.’ Go slow. With her and her mother. This girl has been doing everything on her own since day one. Don’t bombard her with your help, or you’ll just make her back off even more. And if you want to ever have a relationship with her, I suggest you don’t push her away. If I know you, then I can only guess you read her the riot act. Am I right?”

I rolled my eyes, questioning why I’d even gone to her in the first place. “I was pissed, Tracii. What did you think I’d do? It’s like she’s been lying to me ever since I found her again. She let me think she was married, she—”

“Oh my God, Axel.” She threw her hands up in the air dramatically. “So she wore a freaking wedding band. Do you know how many girls do that to fend off guys? It’s the oldest trick in the book. Did you ask her if she was married? Did you ask her anything about her husband? Or did you see the ring and make assumptions?”

“It’s a wedding band! On her left ring finger! Anyone would assume the same thing!” I yelled, exhausted already from this argument. “But no, I didn’t ask. I didn’t think I needed to.”

“That’s your fault for assuming. It’s her fault for not setting your assumptions straight. Do you see what I mean now? Neither one of you is ready for this relationship.”

“I don’t even think I want a relationship with her anymore. I understand that she never broke my trust like I once thought. And I can understand why she kept Ayla from me. But that doesn’t change what happened. Sometimes in life, things are hard to admit, we don’t always have the best timing to tell someone something important, but that doesn’t excuse not doing it. The fact that I’m Ayla’s father doesn’t change depending on what’s going on in her life at the moment.”

Tracii’s eyes softened and her head tilted to the side. “I understand, Axel. Really, I do. I get your pain and your anger. I know you’re feeling betrayed by the only person you’ve ever loved that much. I can also understand where she’s coming from, without ever meeting the girl. We’re talking about a kid here, and the decisions made about that can’t be taken lightly. Bree has a daughter to worry about now. She has another life to protect. Maybe she was only waiting until she knew she could trust you again.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. Because I can’t trust her.”

“I really wish I could just smack the both of you.” She shook her head with a smile on her face. “Give her time to settle down…I’m sure she’s up in arms right now after your wrath came down on her. Don’t call her or go after her. Let her come to you. And when she does, listen to her. Don’t argue or raise your voice, don’t escalate the situation any more than it already is. Just listen. Hear her out and put yourself in her shoes. You can’t expect her to understand where you’re coming from if you can’t offer her the same in return.”

I stared across the counter at my sister, into the eyes that were exactly like mine. People say twins are connected for life, and sometimes I didn’t believe that. But in moments like these, when it felt like she was the only one who really knew me, I couldn’t deny that connection. God could come to me Himself and tell me something, but for some reason, it wouldn’t click in my brain until my sister repeated the same words.

“Okay, fine. I get it. I came down a little hard on her.”

“And you had the right to, Axel. I couldn’t even begin to understand what that must’ve been like for you to find out you have a kid, with the love of your life, and never knew it. But she also had the right to keep her daughter to herself for a little bit longer. I’m sure you showing up out of nowhere was just as intense for her as it was for you.”