I smirked at his comment and hung up the phone. I was on an adrenaline rush, not only because the baby was coming, but also because I hadn’t spoken to Lee in months, and his voice alone had the ability to excite me.

When I arrived at the hospital, I rushed through the corridors, following the signs for the maternity ward. The place was like a maze, and it felt like it took forever for me to find the delivery room. Still in my full police uniform, I burst inside, all eyes turning to me as I stood there, breathless.

“I’m here,” I announced dumbly, seeing Lee standing next to Alexis, who sure enough was gripping his hand like her life depended on it. Her face was red and sweaty, but it was etched with relief when she saw me, and she finally let go of Lee. He walked toward me, his eyes drinking me in like he hadn’t seen me in years. Levelling his palms on my shoulders, he whispered, “Take care of her,” and then he was gone.

I hurried to my best friend’s side, lifted the hand Lee had just been holding, and began taking deep breaths right alongside her.

Twenty-One

Oliver was born at 6:12 a.m. He was ten days premature, had a tuft of blond hair, and weighed just under six and a half pounds. Both mother and baby were healthy and sleeping when I quietly left the room, feeling exhausted but happy. Finding the ladies’, I splashed some water on my face, washed my hands, and did my best to fix my hair.

I planned to go home and take a shower, get some sleep, then collect some things to bring back for Alexis. When I stepped out and went to check on her one last time, I saw Lee sitting on a chair in the corridor. The empty space between us felt vast, though in reality it was nothing. I wanted to bridge the gap and run away all at the same time.

“You’re still here,” I said, standing before him.

He looked up, his eyes tired, and smiled. “I was waiting for you.”

“Did you hear the news?”

Lee nodded. “Just spoke to one of the nurses. Healthy baby boy. I’m made up for her.”

Not knowing why, I sat down beside him, staring at the wall in front of us like it held the answers to questions I hadn’t asked yet. “It was so scary, being in there with her, not knowing how everything was going to turn out.” I didn’t voice the fact that it was also kind of sad, because I knew I’d never experience that for myself, would never get to hold my own baby in my arms. But I could hold hers, watch him grow up, and that was enough. It would have to be.

Lee shot me a look of compassion, like he sensed what I was thinking. He was one of the few people who knew I couldn’t have children, and I remembered his words from months ago.

We’re stronger in the places that we’ve been broken.

Our time together had broken parts of both of us, but were we stronger there now? Was there a patch of soil within us, with the capability of growing something new? I didn’t know.

A silence fell between us, and I wasn’t sure how to act around him. Since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, there was a tension, like we were strangers again, but not. I watched as he laced his fingers together, staring at the work-roughened skin and trying not to succumb to the memory of how it used to feel when he touched me.

“How’ve you been?” he asked, breaking the quiet.

I slid my gaze to his. “Good. I’ve been keeping busy. Got my sergeant’s exam coming up next week.”

His eyebrows rose as he teased, “Sergeant, eh, moving up in the world, are we?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, I think it’s great. The more people like you they have in the police, the better.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “What? Constables who use their sirens so they can skip traffic and get to the hospital in time for their best friend to give birth?”

Lee laughed softly. “Yeah, pretty much.”

I smiled back at him, and the eye contact did something strange to my stomach. All at once I was aware of the shape of his lips and the way his hair had grown longer. He used to keep it clipped close to his skull, but now there was more length on top. His expression turned intense, and I cleared my throat to break the tension.

“So, what about you? What’ve you been up to?”

“Quite a bit, actually.”

“Yeah?”

He paused, like he was hesitant to tell me. “Yeah, I’m, eh, I’m setting up a new business.”

“Oh.”

His eyes narrowed. “Not like that. A legitimate business. I’m opening a restaurant.”

Gaping at him, I couldn’t have been more surprised if he told me he was opening up his own beanbag emporium. “That’s amazing news. What are you calling it?”

“Grub Hut. You should stop by sometime. We’re not opening for another few weeks, but I’m there most days doing prep.”

I nodded, smiling again. “I like the name. So you took Alexis’ advice in the end. Remember she said you should open a restaurant? It makes sense. Your food is amazing.”

“Well, I’m still learning. I’ve hired a team of experienced cooks to help run the kitchen, though, so I won’t be on my own.”

“What about the garage?”

“Sold it. It felt too strange staying there with everything that’s happened. A fresh start is what we all needed.”

I exhaled, and a foreign sensation came over me. After a moment, I realised what it was. He was going straight, and I was proud of him. Softening my voice, I asked, “How’s Stu coping? Have you been to visit him?”

At this Lee’s expression darkened. “He’s coping, but it’s hard inside, especially when you come in strong, with a reputation to uphold. It’s…challenging, but he’ll get there.”

My stomach churned, reminding me of my guilt. I’d had a hand in Stu being behind bars, so I couldn’t help feeling remorseful.

“Well, he’s got a lot of people waiting for him on the outside. Just keep reminding him of that and it’ll see him through.”

“Yeah,” said Lee. “I hope so.” Turning his body slightly, his eyes wandered from the top of my head to my shoulders. I grew self-conscious, wondering why he was studying me so closely.

“You been seeing anyone?” he asked.

I shot him an incredulous look, trying not to smile. “Are you seriously going there?”

“Got a soft spot for ya, Snap. Always have.” He winked, but there was a sadness behind his eyes. We both knew that what he’d felt for me was far more than just a soft spot.

I let out a sigh. “No, I haven’t been seeing anyone. Like I said, I’ve been busy.” I paused, not looking at him when I asked shyly, “Have you?”

I could practically feel him smiling, and when I chanced a glance, I noticed his chest puffing out as he rested his arm along the back of my chair. “No. There’s no lucky lady in my life right now.”

“Oh.”

We shared a moment of eye contact, a fire in his gaze that made me swallow hard. His breath hit my ear when he broke the quiet. “I’m sorry for how I blanked you in court that day. It was a shitty move, but my head was all over the place.”

“I know, and I don’t blame you. You love your family, and a piece of it was torn apart. It’s understandable that I was the last person you wanted to see.”

“Still, I should’ve said something, should’ve tried to explain, but I felt so powerless. I thought I had it all figured out. I could throw myself under the bus and everyone else would be safe, no clue that Stu planned on beating me to it.”

“I think he had to do it, though,” I said. “He needed to be the one to take responsibility this time.”

“Yeah, I get that now.”

A quiet descended, and I smelled Lee’s cologne. The scent provoked memories that I tried to push away.

“So, sergeant, eh?” he said, nudging me with his elbow. “Will you get to wear a new insignia?”

“RW 79, all the way,” I answered, saluting him. “Plus, I’ll get to boss all the constables around. It’ll be ace.”

“Oh, yeah, I can see it now, you shouting orders, all sexy in your uniform,” Lee teased, plucking my tie between his fingers.