His eyebrows moved closer together, creating a broody sort of expression on his face. “Julie,” I said, and he stayed silent, so I clarified, “The woman I just saw leaving your camper?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he replied simply.

Oh, so it was a temporary thing. I can’t say I didn’t feel a small measure of relief. I should have known, though, since Lola did say she only ever saw Jack with casual hook-ups.

“Sorry. My mistake. So, where are you from? Originally, I mean? Dublin?” Christ, I was getting nervous now, thus the sentence of many questions. Jack nodded a yes to Dublin but didn’t give me any details. I decided his moment of chattiness was over, so I sat on a rock and watched the elephants. It was an interesting visual when Jack picked a stalk from their feed and approached one of them. He was wearing a T-shirt that looked like the sleeves had been carelessly cut off, underneath a worn dark brown waistcoat, his tanned, muscular arms showing. He was tall enough that he could reach up and run a hand along the elephant’s large body. Then he held out the stalk for it to eat.

Wow. The sight of such a strong, vital man feeding a strong, vital animal was kind of arousing in strange way. Then he started to walk away.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and called after him, “Where are you going?”

He turned around and shrugged. “For a walk.”

I knew it wasn’t an invitation to join him, but I followed anyway. I wasn’t beyond forcing my friendship on Jack. He was mysterious and intriguing enough for me to step out of my comfort zone and be the aggressor. To me, some people feel like the lives they’ve lived are novels. With Jack, I wanted to get my hands on the book and feverishly work my way through the pages until I got to the end.

The direction we walked was away from the campsite, where there were fields upon fields that bled out into the distance. A countryside landscape. Silently, I walked side by side with Jack through the grass. The weather was warm and the ground dry, which kept my shoes from getting muddy.

I breathed in the fresh, summery air and felt peaceful. Then a fly landed on my shoulder, and I could have been imagining things, but I thought it might have bitten me through my thin T-shirt. I slid my hand under the fabric and scratched at my skin, soothing the itch. I remembered that this was the exact spot I’d planned on getting my tattoo. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about my tattoo!

Determination formulated. I would find a parlour in the city and have my tattoo done today. I’d tick an item off my list. There were no Shay Cosgroves here in Caen to deny me what I wanted. Nobody knew who I was, nor were they afraid of inviting my mother’s wrath. I only realised Jack had been watching me as we walked when his voice broke through the quiet.

“What are you smiling so happily about?”

I was still smiling when I answered. “I just thought of something fun to do today. Want to join me?”

I’m not sure why I asked him that. In all honesty, this was one thing I wasn’t sure I wanted Jack to be around for. It would be scary enough letting a stranger repeatedly stick a needle in me. I didn’t need the added tension of having Jack in the room with his broody eyebrows and intense black eyes, the mask on his face that constantly shrouded his thoughts.

He stopped walking and turned to face me, reaching over my head and plucking a leaf from an overhanging tree. His attention was almost unnerving when he looked at me closely and ran the leaf down the side of my face to my neck. It tickled, and something tightened in the pit of my stomach.

“Fun?”

“You’re acquainted with the idea, yes?” I said, closing my eyes for a second and doing my best not to stammer. He was just so close now, close enough to smell. Close enough to feel his potent energy.

He tilted his head to the side. “Are you poking fun at me, Lille, insinuating I don’t know how to have fun?”

“Well,” I continued bravely, “generally, people who frown as often as you do don’t have a lot of it.”

“Shall I show you how I have it?” he asked, and stepped closer so that my chest was brushing off his. I wasn’t a short person, but Jack McCabe had a presence, a presence that could make someone feel positively tiny. I sidestepped away from him, putting some distance between us, and began walking again, practically tripping over my own feet. I could tell he was just behind me, following.

“I’m not in such dire straits that I need to be taught how to have fun by frowning Jack McCabe,” I said, trying for casual. “But if I ever run out of other options, I’ll give you a call. Like, say, if Angela Merkel isn’t available, you’ll be next on my list.”

I was pushing my luck now, and I knew it. I really didn’t know what had gotten into me, but I was in a teasing mood. There was a beat of silence, and then I heard him chuckle. It was scary to know how much his reaction relieved me. You just never quite knew with this guy which way he’d react, and there was still that lingering doubt in the back of my mind. The story of Vera and the fact that Jack could have been the one who killed her was unnerving. Ever since Lola told me the story, I’d been trying to convince myself it wasn’t anyone from the circus. That the murderer being a stranger from a nearby town was much more plausible.

It was the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night and embrace this adventure of mine.

“I’m confused — do you want me to come with you or not?” Jack said. “I still don’t know what it is you have planned. So, you know, feel free to enlighten me any time.”

I looked back at him then. He was still holding the leaf, and he winked. My heart thudded. A wink from Jack McCabe. This morning was turning out to be one for the diary. If I had a diary, which I didn’t. I did, however, have a sketchpad, and I had a feeling I’d be sketching elephants and leaves and winking black eyes for many nights to come.

It was like masturbation for artists: draw the thing that turns you on.

Not that elephants turned me on….or leaves, for that matter.

“I’m going to get my first tattoo,” I told him finally, and he let out a little snicker.

“Is this an attempt to defy Mother, Lille dear?” he asked, and I didn’t like the touch of mockery in his tone.

“No, actually. I’ve been planning it for a long time. And I’ve just decided I don’t want you there.”

“Oh, no, but I want to come now,” he said flatly. Was that sarcasm?

I stopped and turned to face him. I didn’t think he was expecting it, because he faltered a little before halting. “Do you know what, Jack? You don’t always have to judge people just because they might have had it easier than you. We’re all struggling in our own way.”

“Lille….” he began, but I didn’t allow him to finish. Instead, I brushed past him and strode off, arms folded across my chest. It was obvious that he thought I was some pampered little brat out to slum it with the carnie folk. He probably even thought I looked down on the people who worked in the circus, and he couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I envied them, respected them.

When I got back to the camper, Violet was cooking breakfast, and Lola was blow-drying her hair with the tiniest travel hair dryer I’d ever seen. I sat down on a chair and waited for her to shut it off, then asked, “Do either of you want to come into the city with me today?”

Violet shook her head. “Sorry, I can’t. I have to practice for tonight’s show.”

Lola nodded enthusiastically. “I’m in. What are we doing?”

I smiled and answered, “I’m getting a tattoo.”

Lola clapped her hands together in excitement, and I went to find my hot air balloon drawing. Soon enough, we’d eaten and were on our way into town, walking along the roadside. Cars passed us by, one or two honking at us. I wasn’t sure if they were “get out of the way” honks or “hello, ladies” honks, but it pleased me to believe they were the latter. Then I heard someone call out from behind and turned to see Jack running towards us, waving his hand in the air for us to wait for him.