Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me.

As I was leaving, I filled a bowl for Lola and brought it back to the camper van. She was awake when I got there and had just enough energy to eat before she fell asleep again. It was definitely looking like she had the flu, and I resigned myself to sleeping on the sofa that night, since I didn’t want to catch it.

After the way I’d left things with Jack, I felt unsettled. I couldn’t seem to sit still, so I decided to go find him and make amends. Running what I’d said about his phone through my head again, I realised that I had been a bit of a snob. His camper van was dark on the inside, and when I knocked on the door, I got no answer. I wished I had a phone so that I could call him and made a note to buy a cheap one in town the next day. Disappointed, I started walking back when I caught sight of him leaving the gazebo, headed towards the street.

Picking up my pace, I followed, cupping my hands around my mouth and calling out his name, but the traffic was too loud, and he couldn’t hear me. He was so tall that I could easily pick him out in the distance and so I kept following him. The tricky part came in when I reached a large open square that reminded me of an Italian piazza. In no time I’d lost him and found myself standing in front of a restaurant. Some men sat outside, smoking cigarettes and drinking fancy European-looking beers. They wore business suits, their ties loosened, signalling that they were off duty.

When one of them gave me a look up and down and called me over, I began walking away hurriedly, not wanting the attention. I already felt vulnerable, all alone in a strange city at night with no phone and very little money. When I tried going back the way I came, I realised I must have made a wrong turn somewhere because I didn’t recognise the street. A group of teenagers walked by me, and I knew I appeared distraught because they gave me curious looks. In usual teenage fashion, though, none of them offered to help.

I had a vague feeling that I was going in the right direction, but I realised I was wrong when I’d been walking for ten minutes and still didn’t recognise where I was. Why the hell had I left the circus without even asking what street we were on?

I stood outside a newsagents, folding my arms across my chest because it was getting cold and I had no coat. I was just about to stop a woman I saw approaching me and ask for help when a hand landed on my shoulder. I yelped at the unexpected contact and turned around, relief flooding me when I saw it was Jack.

That relief only lasted a moment when I saw the look of anger on his face.

Ten

An attack led them astray

“What do you think you’re doing?” he fumed, his hand on my shoulder steering me across the street where a tram was just pulling up to the stop. Jack led me onto it, pushing me right up into the opposite door and glaring down at me. My back hit the glass, my heart going ninety. The carriage was by no means full, but there were a couple of people giving us wary glances.

I was focusing on looking anywhere but Jack’s eyes because they were scary right then. So black. I noticed he had a plastic bag dangling over one arm that contained a carton of milk, bread, and a packet of cigarettes. So yeah, I’d obviously been following him on a trip to the grocery shop and had gotten myself lost in the process. Still, I couldn’t understand why he was this mad. Mild irritation I’d expect, but this level of pissed off was way over the top.

Telling him I’d been following him would only worsen his temper, so I lied. “I was taking a walk. I wanted to see the city.”

“You wanted to see the city at eleven o’clock at night? Wouldn’t it have been wiser to wait until morning?”

I bristled. “Probably.”

“And if you were only taking a walk, then why did I find you huddled outside a newsagents looking like you were ready to have a panic attack?”

As he spoke, his body moved closer and closer to mine. Now his hips had me penned in place, one arm braced above my head and his broad chest in my face. I tried to keep my tone light-hearted.

“‘Huddled’ is a bit of an exaggeration, isn’t it? And okay, I may have lost my way. I was just about to ask for directions when you showed up. Lucky that,” I said, and winked at him. Winked. At. Him. Why the hell did my brain think that was a clever thing to do? Jack frowned at me, a look I was beginning to recognise as him thinking I was being weird. Then he let out a long breath.

“You don’t know this city. Next time you want to go for a stroll, ask me to take you. Then, once you know where you’re going, you can wander all you like, though not at night. That’s just asking for trouble.”

There was something about the way he spoke to me that ruffled my feathers. Maybe I just didn’t like people telling me what to do. I stood straighter, lifted my chin, and pushed him out of the way. His body moved, though I was certain that if he hadn’t wanted to, my pushing would have been pointless.

“I’m not an idiot, so don’t talk to me like I am,” I said firmly. I’d spent my entire life being spoken down to by my mother. I wasn’t going to start letting someone else do it. Especially not Jack.

“Well, you sure seem to act like one sometimes,” he shot back, and I saw red.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I stared at him without blinking, and he stared right back. My arms were folded tight across my chest like steel, and I had the distinct urge to make a fist so I could punch him. This man was so aggravating.

“Are you being mean because of what I said earlier about your phone? Because if that’s the case, then I apologise again. I didn’t realise you were so sensitive.”

Okay, so I was goading him, but he had it coming. In an instant he was in my space, and this time the tension practically radiated off him. His hands went to my neck, his thumbs stroking my throat, and God, I was already turned on. He had that effect on me. Hell, maybe I got off on fighting with him. It really wouldn’t surprise me if I did.

He bent to bring his face level with mine and spoke slowly. “‘Sensitive’ is the last word anyone would use to describe me, flower, but keep poking, see how long it takes for me to snap.” His voice was low and cutting, but so erotic, and the subtle edge of a threat had my every pore alight and tingling.

“Seems like you’ve snapped already,” I whispered so quietly I’m sure he only heard because he was so close.

“If you think that’s snapping, then you don’t know me at all.”

“That’s right, I don’t.” I paused before continuing bravely, “But I want to.”

His mouth twisted, and he began to shake his head; for a second there was a tortured expression on his face. “No, you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me what I want.”

He dropped his shoulders so his forehead rested against mine, and I could feel him breathing. “Seeing you like that, alone, panicking, pissed me off, okay? I’m sorry for lashing out.”

His protective instincts were not entirely unexpected; however, they did surprise me. I was just a girl he knew. Yes, one he had the urge to go down on, but still just a girl. Would he really be that bothered if something were to happen to me? His words from the other night rang in my head.

You’re all I see.

Maybe he would be bothered. Maybe he would be very bothered. The thought made me shiver.

I didn’t know what to do. His mood had changed so swiftly. In the end, I just stood there, breathing him in, until the tram stopped and the door started to open. Jack laced his fingers in mine and led me off. We turned a corner, and there was the circus, the foundations of the Spiegeltent being laid out already. I had an idea for a three-part painting of the tent in its various stages of being built, the final complete one full of colour and light, people coming to see the show.