I tried calling his phone but got no answer. This wasn’t too unusual though, because he often forgot to carry it on him. When I called Matilda she told me that Jack and Jay were spending the day together, and that she was hanging out at the hotel by herself. She offered for me to come and join her, but I declined. I wouldn’t have been good company right then.

I sat on the steps of Violet’s camper, sipping on a mug of red wine (she didn’t own any glasses) to soothe my nerves, when King ambled up to me and sat down. It was unexpected, but I didn’t question it. My emotions were all over the place, so I merely accepted his company for what it was.

“It doesn’t help, you know,” he said and I glanced at him.

“Pardon?”

He nodded to the wine. “It numbs but it doesn’t heal. It numbs you just enough every time to make you forget that it doesn’t heal. It’s like Western medicine, treating the symptom and ignoring the cause. So, forget about the symptom and look at the cause,” he stopped and pointed his finger harshly into my arm to drive home his point. “That’s where you’ll find the cure.”

What he said made perfect sense, but still, it irked me that he didn’t take his own advice. “If you know all this, then why don’t you treat your cause? Why do you continue to medicate the symptom?”

“Ah,” he said, letting out a long, weary sigh. “Some of us are too far gone for all that.”

A silence elapsed as the noise from the crowds coming to see the circus began to grow louder. I decided I wasn’t going to work that night; I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I did, however, know what I was in the right frame of mind for.

“King,” I started and he turned to me. I swallowed. “You know that picture you have of the woman?” He nodded, eyes narrowing warily. “Could I…I mean, would you like me to paint it for you?”

I shivered as I waited for his response. I wasn’t even sure why I wanted to do it, but for some reason I thought he’d like to have a painting of his Alexis that he could keep.

“That way, if you ever lose the photograph again, you’ll still have the painting.”

More silence, and then, ever so slightly and without breathing a word, he nodded his head. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the worn photo and handed it to me. I took it with care and then went to gather some of the supplies I still kept in Lola’s bedroom. King sat and watched me as I set up and began to paint. I painted well into the small hours of the morning, as the grey light of the coming day began to slowly filter into the sky.

Wiping the perspiration from my brow, I stood back and took in my work. I was satisfied with the end result, and felt like I’d managed to capture the happiness on the woman’s face as she stared into the camera. Without my realising it, King had come to stand beside me, and when I looked at him his pale blue eyes were watery with tears. Even though I’d been the one to create the painting, I felt like this was a private moment for him, so I went inside to scrub my hands. When I returned, both the painting and King were gone.

He’d taken it, and that was good enough for me. I’d made something that held meaning for him, and it gave me a sense of peace. When I finally went to bed, I found that I’d exhausted myself enough to sleep.

***

The next day I woke up to my phone ringing. Checking the time, I found it was past two in the afternoon and my heart jumped to know I’d slept half the day away. I noted that it was Matilda’s number flashing on the screen, and when I answered she asked me if I had any dinner plans. Apparently, Jay and Jack were still getting reacquainted with one another, and she wanted some company.

It filled my heart with good feelings to know the brothers were still bonding, which soothed some of the ache inside me. I told her I’d love to, and we hung up with plans to meet in a couple of hours at the restaurant beside her hotel. Lola forced me to take a shower and gave me a loan of some clothes to wear, which consisted of an emerald green skater dress and a navy cardigan. The green was surprisingly complementary to my skin tone, and after blow-drying my hair with Lola’s tiny travel hair dryer, I felt a little better about myself.

I had enough cash to spare, so I took a taxi into the city, getting out when I arrived at the restaurant. Running my hand through my hair and hitching my bag up on my shoulder, I stepped inside and was immediately hit with the sound of male laughter. I was drawn to that sound, and as my eyes scanned the space for Matilda, I found her, but she wasn’t alone. She sat at a booth-style table beside Jay, and Jack sat on the other side, wearing a long-sleeved black T-shirt and with his hair down. My stomach tightened when I saw him, and I got the distinct sense that this was an ambush. I stood there, taking in the scene, as Jay made some kind of joke, smiling widely across the table at his brother, and Jack smirked at whatever he said.

“I swear to God,” Jay exclaimed, gesturing animatedly with his hands. “I’m standing in front of this chick, asking her to pick a number between one and twenty, and she starts telling me about her yeast infection. I’m like, and I need to know this why? Selecting random people on the street can be fucking weird sometimes.”

Jack laughed low and deep, and when he glanced at his brother with genuine affection in his eyes, my heart did a little somersault. I couldn’t believe the turnaround since the other night. The atmosphere between them had completely transformed. I didn’t move until Matilda’s eyes landed on me and she gave me a warm, welcoming smile. Stepping forward, I reached the table and just about managed to find my voice.

“Uh, hi.”

Jack’s back was turned to me, but I saw him tense the second he heard my voice. Yeah, he definitely didn’t know I was coming. I wasn’t sure whether I should be thanking Matilda or chewing her out for tricking me. Jay saw me and smiled, then gave me a little wink.

“Hey, darlin.”

“Lille,” said Matilda, “I’m so glad you could make it. You look gorgeous. Love your dress. Come, sit down.”

Anxiously, I slid into the booth next to Jack, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Making sure to keep several inches of distance between us, I frowned and stared at the menu that lay on the table, trying to decide whether or not I should stay. He clearly didn’t want me here.

“Jack,” I said quietly as I took in his handsome profile. Upon hearing his name, he turned to me, and when he met my eyes, it nearly took my breath away. They held such stark emotion that I was sure was mirrored in my own. “H-how are you?” I asked, trying for casual and failing. His gaze travelled from my face to my shoulders, and then down. I felt hot and itchy under his stare, and I could have killed to know what he was thinking.

“I’m good, all things considered,” he answered finally, and I couldn’t read him at all.

Jay leaned down and whispered something in Matilda’s ear. She narrowed her gaze and elbowed him in the side. “No way, Jay. I already told you no, so quit pestering me.”

I tried to focus on them, but I was still hyper aware of every little move Jack made, every breath he took.

“Oh, come on, Watson. You need to live a little.”

“What’s this?” I asked, not really caring what they were talking about. I just needed to distract myself from the tension that was radiating off Jack.

Matilda leaned in, sighed, and rested her elbows on the table. “My husband, the horndog, has been trying to convince me to join the mile-high club. I swear to God, every time we take a flight, he’s at it. Like a dog with a bone.”

Jay barked playfully and leaned in to nip her earlobe with his teeth. Seeing them both so much in love made my current heartsickness feel that much worse. Jack was right beside me, but it felt like there was an ocean between us. I turned to look at him again and saw his lips twitch slightly at his brother’s antics. I could see in his eyes the love that was there; it even seemed like he looked up to Jay. Hardly two days had gone by, and already the dynamic they’d had as kids was returning. I imagined they must have done some serious amount of talking.